/. /f~ ^ 0^ 



Library OF CONGRESS. I 

# # 

f [SMITHSONIAN DEPOSIT.] f 



f UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.^ 



LETTERS 



TO 



c|00l ^ir Is. 



BY 



PRINCIPAL OF THE OAKLAND FEMALE SEMINAKT, 




dtnctnnati: 

PUBLISHED BY SWORMSTEDT & POE, 

FOR THE METHODIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH, AT THE WESTERN BOOK 
CONCERN, CORNER Oi" MAIN AND EIGHTH STREETS. 

E. P. THOMPSON, PRINTER. 

1853. 






Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1853, 

BY SWORMSTEDT & POE, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States 
for the District of Ohio. 



V 






8^Htiiti0iu 



TO 

THOSE LADIES WHO HAVE AT ANY TIME BEEN 
THE PUPILS OF THE AUTHOR, 

Qlfjis Volumz 

IS AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED, ,. -' - 
BY THE AUTHOR. 



PREFACE 



These "Letters" were originally pre- 
pared in the form of "Lectures," and 
read to the pupils of the Oakland Female 
Seminary, in 184:8 and '49. Such things 
as were peculiar to that institution, have 
been omitted, and they are addressed to 
school girls generally, in the hope that 
they may do some good. The author has 
ever felt a deep interest in female educa- 
tion. He labored under many disadvan- 
tages in his boyhood, but he was always 
cheered on in the pursuit of knowledge 
by his riwtlier. He has found the acqui- 
sition of knowledge such a continual 
source of pleasure to him, that out of 
gratitude to that mother, he resolved to 
devote himself to the advancement of fe- 
male education. Kext to the pulpit, he 
esteems it the most useful field in which 
he could labor. Feeble health has pre- 

5 



6 PREFACE. 

vented liiiii from much pulpit labor for 
many years, and for nearly fourteen years 
he has had charge of a female school. 

There is no danger of spoiling our 
daughters by too much education. Some 
educated ladies are eccentric, and negli- 
gent of household affairs, but they would 
be equally so witiiout education. God, 
who gave woman intellect, also gave her 
affections. The cultivation of her intel- 
lect, will not cause her to love her chil- 
dren or her household less, for a mother's 
heart will be true to the instinct of na- 
ture, unless corrupted by vice. A wo- 
man that is fond of fashionable amuse- 
ments, often sadly neglects her family; 
but one fond of books, will be desirous of 
sharing her enjoyments with her children, 
and will love them more. 

The best education that we can give 
her, will be none too much to qualify her 
for her responsible duties. Boys are apt 
to break away from a mother's influence; 
but if they feel that their mother is pos- 
sessed of superior knowledge, they will 



PREFACE. 



submit to her authority perhaps to mature 
age. It will not be necessary for the 
mother to make any pedantic display of 
her learning, but its influence will be im- 
perceptibly diffused in the ordinary, every- 
day intercourse of the family. 

If, in addition to being well educated, 
she is also religious, what a blessed and 
powerful influence may she exert ! If aU 
the mothers in the land were such, what 
a different generation would the next be 
from the present or the past ! 

In the hope that this little volume may 
contribute something to a result so desir- 
able, it is sent forth with the prayer that 
God's blessing may attend it. 

Oakland Seminary, Dec. 24, 1852. 



CONTENTS. 



Page. 

LETTER I. 
Study- •- •• 13 

LETTER II. 
EaADENG • = — ...... 26 

LETTER III. 
Lies ...<...... 36 

LETTER IV. 

OoKVKfiSA'EION 48 

LETTER V. 
Mannbes- 58 

LETTER VI. 
ReXjIGion — ' •»" 71 

LETTER VII. 
Peaybe • •• 83 

LETTER VIII. 
The Sabbath • • 94 

9 



10 CONTENTS. 

Page. 
LETTER IX. 

Eighth Commandment 106 

LETTER X. 
Dancing 117 

LETTER XI. 
Health 127 

LETTER XII. 
Temperance 135 

LETTER XIII. 
Missions 14:6 

LETTER XIV. 

VULGABISMS 155 

LETTER XV. 
Mabriage 161 

LETTER XVI. 
Duties TO Parents 174 

LETTER XVII. 
Temper 184 

LETTER XVIII. 
Spoiled Girls * 193 

LETTER XIX. 
Teaching 200 



CONTENTS. 11 

Page, 

LETTER XX. 
Teaching ^^^ 



LETTER XXI. 
Valedictory 



226 



APPENDIX. 
Female Education* • 239 



LETTERS 

TO 

SCHOOL GIRLS. 

LETTER I. 

STUDY. 

How thankful should we be to God for the 
many advantages, social and civil, literary 
and religions, with which we are surrounded ! 
When I address myself to school girls, I am 
addressing every young female in the land, 
for all have the opportunity of acquiring 
more or less education at school. Many, 
perhaps, do not appreciate the privilege, and 
some may even refuse to attend school, when 
they have the opportunity ; but far the greater 
number, I trust, are ardently athirst for knowl- 
edge, and delighted to drink at its crystal 
fountains. 

When girls go to school, they are, no 
doubt, influenced by various motives. Some 

13 



14 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

go merely because their parents send tliem, 
without any desire to improve their minds. 
They take no interest in their studies, and 
confinement to the school-room is disao-ree- 
able to them. Some go because they have 
young acquaintances attending, whose society 
is much more attractive to them than their 
books. Some desire to attend a boarding- 
school or seminary, because they think it will 
add to their respectability, and elevate them 
above the children of their neighbors. It is 
quite amusing to see girls who have attended 
a boarding-school, too short a time to learn 
any thing useful, assuming airs of importance 
inconsistent with their circumstances in life. 

These are not the proper motives. You 
should desire to cultivate your mind, because 
education will be useful to you, and will en- 
able you to be more useful to others than you 
could be without it. God did not intend man 
to live as a savage, without education. He 
has bestowed reason and speech. His law is 
written, and it requires learning to read and 
understand it. His works are wonderful and 
glorious; and surely, it is agreeable to Him 
that they should be studied and understood. 
Whenever, therefore, you have an opportu- 



STUDY. 15 

nity of attending school, you should feel it to 
be your duty to apply to your books with dili- 
gence and cheerfulness, and make all the im- 
provement you can. Few and brief are our 
years in this world, and very brief is that pe- 
riod of youth in which education may be ac- 
quired. How wicked to waste the precious 
moments in frivolous amusements, or idle 
sports, when we might reap the golden har- 
vest of knowledge ! It is on so many accounts 
desirable to be well informed on all the subjects 
usually embraced in a good education, that 
you should not rest satisfied till you have ac- 
quired all. 

But education can not be acquired without 
hard study. Some would be glad to have the 
knowledge, but they dislike to perform the 
labor. They slight their lessons, endeavor to 
cheat the teachers at recitation, and pass 
through the session without understanding 
any thing well. You should study every les- 
son thoroughly, and understand it well, before 
you go to recite. If you find difficulties, you 
should go to your teacher for explanation, be- 
fore recitation. Be not like those idle girls, 
wlio care not whether they understand their 
lessons or not, provided difficult things come 



16 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

to other members of the class, and they can 
get along without missing at recitation. 

Hard study will, of course, be difficult and 
disagreeable at first, but every thing valuable 
is acquired with difficulty. What difficulties 
and dangers do men surmount to obtain the 
gold of California! But knowledge is more 
precious than gold or rubies. Be not discour- 
aged, and the difficulties will gradually give 
way, and you will become pleased and inter- 
ested in your studies. 

When I urge you to understand your les- 
sons before you go to recite, I do not mean 
that you should commit them to memory, nor 
that you should mark answers to the ques- 
tions, and commit these to memory. All this 
you might do, and yet know very little about 
your lesson. Endeavor to understand the 
meaning of your lesson, so that you can ex- 
press the ideas of the author, not in the words 
of the book, but in your own language. 

The rules of grammar, and definitions in 
all the sciences, should be accurately commi*;- 
ted to memory; but you will understand all 
subjects better, if you will endeavor to express 
the ideas in your own way. You are not, in 
fact, sure that you have the idea correctly. 



STUDY. 17 

till you can so express it. If you take such 
pains at every step, your knowledge will be 
thoroughly digested, and your mental facul- 
ties will be strengthened and improved. 

Some girls desire to study too many things 
at a time. They wish to have a good educa- 
tion, but they are in haste to finish. This is 
not wise. Overexertion in labor may be in- 
jurious. Overeating will oppress the stom- 
ach. An attempt to pursue too many studies 
at once, will overtax the mind, and only give 
a smattering of knowledge. Acquire first 
principles well, and then proceed only so fast 
as you can do it thoroughly. Spelling, read- 
ing, writing, and arithmetic, are the four cor- 
ner-stones of a good education. If the foun- 
dation is not well laid, the superstructure will 
be defective. How ludicrous to see a girl 
studying rhetoric or astronomy, when she can 
not write a readable hand nor spell ordinary 
words correctly ! Do not be ashamed to con- 
tinue at these things, though you may be 
nearly grown up, till you know them well. It 
is better to learn nothing else at school, than 
to be defective in these. To understand these 
well, will give your mind a training that will 
enable you to become an intelligent woman 

2 



18 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

by your own exertions afterward. But if you 
lack them, you will go limping all your days, 
whatever else you may know. Having made 
a fair start, proceed step by step till you ac- 
quire all you can. I am in favor of extensive 
female education. The most extensive course 
of the best female college is not too much. 
God has given you capacity for mental im- 
provement, and a desire for knowledge. Grat- 
ify that desire to the full extent, but do it 
gradually, as your mind may be able to 
bear it. 

About three subjects, or four, at the most, 
are as many as you should have on hands at 
once. You can then have time to consult 
other authors on the subject, and not rely en- 
tirely on the text-book. Where there is any 
difference of opinion, it is well enough to see 
what can be said on both sides, and not be- 
lieve every thing you read, merely because 
the book says so. What is obscure in one 
author, you may find more clearly expressed 
in another. Merely the name of a discoverer 
in science is sometimes given, and you should 
consult a biographical dictionary, or some 
other book, to know more about him. When 
you take such pains as this in acquiring 



STUDY, 



19 



knowledge, you will not forget it. It will be- 
come fixed in your mind indelibly, and will 
remain as a part of your being. 

But you desire to know why so many things 
are to be studied, and what advantage you are 
to derive from them. As you can make no 
use of algebra or geometry in company, you 
can not perceive the necessity of studying 
them. If you were to delay studying every 
thing till you could understand the advantage 
you were to derive from it, the time for ac- 
quiring education would be past, and educa- 
tion would be impossible. You do not delay 
eating your breakfast or dinner till you can 
understand the chemical composition of all 
the articles of food, and how they are digested 
and appropriated to the nourishment of the 
body. By such a course of conduct, you 
would show yourself to be crazy, and would 
soon starve to death. Little children eat and 
take exercise long before they understand that 
these things are important to their health and 
strength. 

The mind, in order to be strong, and capa- 
ble of understanding difficult subjects, must 
also have food and exercise. The girl that 
bends her mind to the difficult and knotty 



20 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

questions in arithmetic and algebra, is gaining 
intellectual strength. You desire to know 
something about astronomy, and the wonders 
of the heavens ; but you can understand very 
little of these things, unless you first study 
mathematics — especially geometry and trigo- 
nometry. But the great benefit derived from 
such studies, is the power and habit of atten- 
tion acquired in pursuing them. How difficult 
do you find it, when you first go to school, to 
confine your attention to your books ! Your 
thoughts wander to other subjects, even while 
your eyes are on the book ; but in the course 
of a year or two, if you study properly, and 
in earnest, you will be able to check these 
wandering thoughts, and confine your atten- 
tion to the subject before you. Nothing will 
more eflfectually assist you in acquiring this 
power, than arithmetic and algebra. You can 
not solve any question without giving it your 
whole attention. A mistake in a figure or a 
letter spoils all. What you do every day, soon 
grows into a habit, and becomes easy. By 
hard study you will soon acquire the power of 
attending to what you please. 

And how valuable is such a habit ! How 
much time does every young person waste by 



STUDY. 21 

wandering thoughts, waking dreams, idle rev- 
eries ! The power of controlling your thoughts 
will always be valuable to you. If you go to 
church, you can give better attention to the 
sermon, and not allow your thoughts to be 
called off by every new ribbon or strange face 
that comes in. If you are in company, you 
can give more fixed attention to those who 
converse with you. If engaged in domestic 
affairs, you can better attend to what is before 
you, so that the bread shall not burn nor the 
dinner be spoiled. Thus, even in baking a 
loaf of bread, algebra and geometry may be 
useful to you. 

And the value of these things does not de- 
pend entirely on their being remembered. It 
is true, you should remember as much as pos- 
sible of all your studies. But if you should 
forget all your algebra the day you leave 
school, the power of attending to a dry and 
difficult subject, which you acquired while 
studying it, would be exceedingly valuable to 
you as long as you lived. After studying 
mathematics, you would not think history 
dry, and you could read and be interested in 
other books than novels. Let me warn every 
school girl against novels. The style is so 



22 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

fascinating, and the love-stories they contain 
so exciting, that girls who read them at all 
are apt to become excessively fond of them. 
They injure both the intellectual and moral 
nature. To read them, is like feeding chil- 
dren on sweetmeats and candies; they soon 
lose their relish for wholesome food, and their 
health is injured or destroyed. It is almost 
impossible to make a good student of a novel- 
reader. They have an utter aversion to hard 
study and difficult subjects. If they can slip 
a novel to read, they will neglect every thing- 
else, and pass through their school-days with- 
out acquiring any thing useful. 

But all the subjects in the usual courses of 
study, are not as dry and difficult as mathe- 
matics. Many of them will exceedingly in- 
terest you, and at the same time assist in 
strengthening your mind. In many of them 
you will be studying the great and subhme 
mysteries of the works of God. Botany, 
chemistry, physiology, natural history, as well 
as astronomy, and other branches, will dis- 
play to you the evidences of wisdom and con- 
trivance every-where apparent in his works. 
Great and marvelous are all the works of the 
great Jehovah. I have never seen a child 



STUDY. 23 

who was not delighted when shown, through 
a microscope, the compound eyes of a fly. 
Who could have believed, they exclaim, that 
a little fly had four thousand eyes ! 

If you once become interested in your 
studies, you will derive more true happiness 
from them, than others can possibly find in 
frivolous amusements or more frivolous read- 
ing. Such studies will have an elevating and 
ennobling efl'ect on your mind. The cultiva- 
tion of the intellectual and moral faculties, 
renders us more and more like angels and 
like God. Do not be alarmed at the number 
of studies, or the length of time it will take 
to acquire them. Patient industry will re- 
move all difiiculties, and make the time pass 
agreeably. It is the idle school girl who is 
unhappy ; time hangs heavily on her hands. 
She thinks the slow, tedious hours will never 
be gone. But to the industrious, studious 
girl, the days, and weeks, and sessions, glide 
delightfully away, and she will afterward 
look back upon her school-days as the happi- 
est part of her existence. 

The motives that should influence you in 
acquiring an education, should not be sordid 
or selfish. While you should strive to be the 



24 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

best scholar in your classes, your motive 
should not be merely to excel the others. 
You should love learning for its own sake, and 
because it will make you acquainted with the 
works of God, and display to you his wisdom. 
You should love it, because it will make you 
more useful — ^better able to promote the cause 
of religion and the interests of mankind. 
The girl who applies with diligence to the 
study of algebra or geometry, for the sake of 
obtaining a gold medal, or for the reputation 
of being the best scholar in the class, will be 
in danger of being influenced by wrong mo- 
tives all her life. When she ceases to be a 
school girl, she will strive to surpass other 
young ladies in the costliness and display of 
her dress. When married, she will want a 
finer house, finer furniture, and a more splen- 
did carriage than her neighbors. Low and 
sordid motives will influence all the actions of 
her life, and her heart will be a stranger to 
true charity and benevolence. She will be a 
stranger to the happiness of doing good ; and 
she will find, when it is too late, that mere 
display, and outshining others, can produce 
no happiness. 

In conclusion, you should strictly keep all 



STUDY. 25 

the rules of good order in the school. If you 
allow yourself to whisper and play, you not 
only interrupt the school, but you waste your 
own precious time, and that of others. Time 
is too precious to be wasted. Keep your 
books clean. Do not tear them, nor double 
them back, nor scribble in them. It is a 
shame to abuse books as some lazy, careless 
girls do. Remember that your teachers are 
laboring for your good, and you should re- 
spect and obey them. Look to God every 
day in prayer, that he would preserve your 
life and health, and enable you to improve 
your time, and succeed in your studies. 



26 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS 



LETTEE II. 

READING. 

As the number of female schools is con- 
tinually increasing in our country, the advan- 
tages of a good education are extended to a 
much larger number of girls than formerly. 
Many that enjoy such advantages, will proba- 
bly read the present series of letters. Allow 
me, therefore, hoping to do you some good, 
to address you in a famihar, though plain way, 
about matters which, I trust, may not be unin- 
teresting to you. 

It is said that ** three of the most difficult 
things in the world are, to keep a secret, to 
forget an injury, and to improve our leisure 
time." The last is certainly not the least dif- 
ficult. Most persons would be astonished to 
find how large a portion of their time passes 
v/ithout improvement. You, perhaps, spend 
six hours each day in school, and may be re- 
quired to study two hours out of school ; and, 
if you allow eight hours for sleep, you will 



READING. 27 

still have eight hours each day for meals, and, 
exercise, and recreation. How do you spend 
these hours ? Did you suppose that so much 
of your time passed without employment? 
Could you not devote one or two hours each 
day to some useful reading, and still leave 
sufficient time for exercise and other employ- 
ments ? You have no idea how much can be 
done in a single hour each day, till you try 
it. You could, in three months, read through 
<* Ferdinand and Isabella," and *' Robertson's 
Charles V," or you could, in the same time, 
read nearly all *' Rollin's Ancient History." 
How much better would this be than to waste 
your leisure moments in absolute idleness, or 
in talking on frivolous and useless subjects ! 

Do you inquire what you shall read? You 
may be improved by reading history, biogra^ 
phy, travels, or poetry. If you once acquire 
a taste for such reading, you will find it quite 
as interesting as novel reading, and vastly 
more profitable. You will be conscious that 
you are making additions to your stock of 
knowledge, and strengthening your mental 
faculties. You may read bushels of novels, 
and find them all chaff, with scarcely a grain 
of wheat in all. Your mental powers, more- 



28 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

over, will be weakened, and your taste per- 
verted, so that all useful reading will appear 
dry and tiresome. 

If you will make a proper trial of history, 
you will be surprised how soon you will find 
it interesting. I would not have you to begin 
with such a work as "Hume's History of 
England," and attempt to read it regularly 
through. This, of course, would tire you. 
Py croft, in his ''Course of Reading," recom- 
mends that you should first study some short 
outline of history, such as "Miss Robins's 
Enghsh History," " Goodrich's United States," 
and the histories commonly used as school 
books. 

These should be well studied, to impress on 
the memory a general view of the subject. 
In studying these, unless you have a very dull 
mind, you will feel some curiosity to know 
more about particular persons and periods. 
You should then get a larger work, and turn 
to the particular subject that interests you, 
and gratify your curiosity. Do you wish to 
know more about Columbus than you find in 
your school book? Read "Irving's Life of 
Columbus." Or of Isabella, who pledged her 
jewels to enable Columbus to make his great 



READING. 29 

discovery? Get **Prescott's Ferdinand and 
Isabella," and you will find it more interest- 
ing than any novel. Would you like to know 
something more of the Greeks, or Alexander 
the Great, or Hannibal, than you find in your 
small history? Turn to these subjects in 
**Rollin," or read "Plutarch's Lives'* of 
these men, and you may soon be gratified. 
In this way you will always be reading what 
is interesting to you. 

In reading history you may begin with any 
country or period that interests you most. 
Your curiosity will soon be excited to read of 
other countries and other times; and, after 
awhile, you will be a good historian and an 
intelligent young lady. Suppose you begin 
with "Ferdinand and Isabella," you will find 
that the Emperor Charles V was their grand- 
son, and at once you feel a curiosity to read 
his life. Here kings, and queens, and im- 
portant events will be mentioned in such a 
way as to excite your curiosity to read still 
other books. Or if you were to begin with 
"Abbott's Life of Mary, Queen of Scots," 
which I know every school girl would be de- 
lighted to read, you would immediately want 
to read the "Life of Queen Elizabeth," and 



30 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

then the ** History of the Reformation," and 
so on from one thino- to another. The more 
you read the more you will want to read, till 
you will find history and biography so inter- 
esting that you will have no time for novels. 

Biography, while it gives you many inter- 
esting particulars about individuals, often 
gives you, also, much important history. 
Thus, in the ''Life of Washington," you have 
the history of the Revolutionary war ; in the 
"Life of Napoleon," the history of Europe 
for twenty-five years; and in ''Plutarch's 
Lives," the most interesting parts of Grecian 
and Roman history. 

You will, also, find books of travel inter- 
esting and profitable. Fisk, Durbin, Stephens, 
and others, will tell you much that will please 
you about the customs and manners of the 
difterent nations through which they passed. 
When you read history or travels, you should 
always have, before you, a map of the country 
about which you read, so that you can look at 
once for all the places mentioned as you go 
along. You can not remember much of what 
you read, unless you look for the places. If 
you are even tolerably well acquainted with 
geography, it will keep it always fresh in 



READING. 31 

your mind to use an atlas always in reading 
history. 

You should, also, endeavor to remember 
the dates, and learn the chronology. You can 
not, it is true, remember the date of every 
event, but you can easily learn the most im- 
portant ; and that will help you to remember 
the rest. You can remember, for instance, 
that Solomon lived about a thousand years 
before Christ, and that Columbus discovered 
America in A. D. 1492, and, when you read 
of things that occurred near these periods, by 
referring them to these. Mrs. Sigourney says, 
** History should be read with constant refer- 
ence to geography and chronology. A fine 
writer has called these the 'eyes of history.' 
They are the grappling irons by which it ad- 
heres to the memory." 

You will, also, be interested in reading some 
poetry ; but you should be careful to select the 
best. Milton, Cowper, Young, Pollok, Mont- 
gomery, Goldsmith, and Campbell, are all 
good; and many others might be added to 
the list. There are selections from the best 
British and American poets, with biographical 
sketches of the authors, which will be the best 
works to read. These volumes contain the 



32 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

very cream of English poetry, tlie richest 
and best part of each author's works, which 
will be as much as it is desirable to read. But 
I would not advise you to read these large 
volumes regularly through. Let curiosity 
lead you here, as in reading history. Did 
you lately hear some one praising ** Gold- 
smith's Deserted Village " as a beautiful poem, 
or speaking highly of *' Campbell's Pleasures 
of Hope?" Get the "British Poets," and 
read those poems, and the sketches of the 
authors' lives. In the same way, you may 
consult "Chambers's Cyclopedia of English 
Literature," for specimens of the prose and 
poetry of the best writers in the language. 

So much, young ladies, for reading. But 
if you would reap the full benefit of your 
reading, you must converse about what you 
read. You must read to be well informed, 
and talk to learn how to make use of your in- 
formation. Mrs. Sigourney recommends, that 
those engaged in reading history should form 
little societies, to meet once a week, and talk 
over what they read. Three or four young 
ladies she thinks an agreeable and profitable 
number. Dr. Watts advises that you should 
always talk over what you read, if you can 



READING. 33 

find any one that will listen to you; and 
whether they will listen or not, he insists you 
should still talk it over. If it does them no 
good, it will serve to impress what you read 
on your own mind. 

This course will improve your conversa- 
tional powers, as well as aid you in remem- 
bering the history. It is one thing to acquire 
knowledge ; it is quite another to be able to 
communicate our ideas. Many persons, though 
well informed on various subjects, have, nev- 
ertheless, great difficulty in making use of 
what they know in conversation. When you 
talk about what you read, you are clothing 
your thoughts in language; and the oftener 
you do so, the more easy it will become. As 
there is scarcely any accomplishment more de- 
sirable for a young lady than good conversa- 
tional powers, I trust you will form little so- 
cieties, and frequently talk over with each 
other the substance of your reading. 

You will, also, find it very useful to write 
about what you read. In your letters to your 
young friends, tell them what books you are 
reading, and give them the substance of their 
contents. Young people sometimes complain 
that they do not know what to write. If you 
3 



34 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

will be diligent in reading, you will be fur- 
nished with ideas, which you can clothe in 
your own language. This remark will apply 
to your compositions, as well as your corre- 
spondence. The more you read, the more 
easy you will find it to write. As the Jews 
found it hard to make brick without straw, 
so does a school girl find it difficult to write 
compositions without ideas. Improve, then, 
all your leisure moments in useful reading, and 
you will soon be able to converse without em- 
barrassment, and to write without difficulty. 

Another advantage to be derived from read- 
ing and intelligent conversation, is the happi- 
ness it will diffuse in the family circle. If 
brothers, and sisters, and parents, will meet 
around the cheerful fire, and talk over the 
poetry or the travels they have read, the lives 
of individuals, or the history of nations, it 
will open up a new source of enjoyment. If 
young ladies could interest their brothers in 
some plan of this kind, and induce them to 
spend their evenings at home, instead of run- 
ning about the streets, we should have fewer 
**bad boys" in our cities and villages. 

Before I close this letter, I must not omit to 
mention, that there is one book, containing 



READING. 55 

the most ancient and important history, the 
most interesting biography, the most touching 
and beautiful poetry, which you must not neg- 
lect to read and study : this is the Bible — the 
book of God. It tells of our ruin and our re- 
demption, of our depravity and of the "foun- 
tain opened for sin and uncleanness." You 
should read one or two chapters every day in 
the Bible, and carefully study some portion of 
it every week for the Sunday school. And as 
you read and study, you should pray to God 
to enable you to understand its meaning and 
practice its precepts. Miss Elizabeth Carter, 
a pious and learned English lady, read two 
chapters in the Bible, and, also, a sermon by 
some good author, every morning before 
breakfast. 



36 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 



LETTEE III. 

LIES. 

Few tilings are more important to be deeply 
impressed on the minds of school girls, than 
that they should always tell the truth. And 
yet few things are more difficult. So many 
temptations present themselves to depart from 
the truth, that I fear few school girls escape 
with a clear conscience. The Bible says, 
** Speak the truth, and lie not." It also says 
that children are apt to go astray from their 
youth, *' speaking lies." To speak the truth, 
is to speak as we think, or to convey to others 
the impression on our own minds. To tell a 
falsehood, is to utter what we know to be false, 
with an intention to deceive. To convey a 
false impression, by tones of voice, manner of 
speaking, or in any other way, is also to tell a 
falsehood. When we speak to others, we 
should be careful to convey to them the exact 
impression of our own minds. Any departure 
from this rule is a falsehood. 



LIES. 37 

Dr. Boyd, in bis excellent work on Moral 
Philosophy, lias enumerated nineteen different 
kinds of lies. I shall make use of his ar- 
rangement so far as I think it applicable to 
my young friends. 

He does not mention white lies, or fibs ; but 
as some authors do, I shall first say a few 
words about them. They are falsehoods that 
appear to be harmless, such as jests and ex- 
aggerations. *'I thought I should have died 
laughing;" *'I never in my life saw any thing 
so beautiful;" '''0, I am so fatigued, I am 
nearly dead!" are specimens. We are so apt 
when we speak to be influenced by our present 
feelings, that some degree of exaggeration is 
perhaps unavoidable. But we should reflect 
before we speak, and not use the superlative 
degree in speaking of every trivial thing. 
Sending word to visitors that we are not at 
home when we are, is sometimes called a 
white lie, as it is supposed only to mean that 
we are not prepared to see company. But if 
this be the meaning, why not say so? If the 
visitor is deceived, we are guilty of false- 
hood. In fact, as Dr. Wayland observes, 
there are no white lies. All are black, and 
all are wrong. 



38 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

Jocose lies are such, as are told for amuse- 
ment. If you were to relate a fable or a par- 
able, or tell a story about witcbes or fairies, 
when it was understood that you did not pro- 
fess to tell the truth, it would not be a false- 
hood. But some girls are in the habit of tell- 
ing things which are false with a serious 
countenance, and frequent declarations of 
sincerity, when they afterward laugh that any 
one should be so silly as to believe them. 
Perhaps you think that, because such things 
are done in jest, and no one is injured, they 
are not wrong. But you should remember 
that truth is too sacred to be trifled with. If 
you tell lies in jest, people will not know 
when to believe you, and you form a bad 
habit, which will soon lead to other lies. 
Some jocose lies are worse than those just 
mentioned : as when you praise a person's 
dress or beauty to see how she will take the 
flattery, and afterward laugh at her, or abuse 
her dress or person. Such insincerity is both 
mean and sinful. How would you like to be 
treated thus ? 

Benevolent lies are intended to benefit oth- 
ers : as when a physician tells a sick man he 
is getting well, although he believes he will 



LIES. . 39 

soon die. He fears it would increase his dis- 
ease to let him know how ill he is. But even 
if it would, the Bible says we must not **do 
evil that good may come." It is the worst 
unkindness to the sick, to conceal their danger 
from them. Their uneasiness of mind is more 
injurious than a knowledge of their danger 
would be. They wish to make some prepara- 
tion for death; but if their friends flatter 
them to the last that they are about to re- 
cover, they may be ushered into eternity un- 
prepared. 

Perhaps we might class with benevolent 
lies those which are told to induce people to 
entertain a good opinion of themselves. " I 
am growing too fleshy," says a young lady; 
"what a horrible shape I shall have!" *' 
no," you reply, though you do not believe 
what you are saying, "your form is remark- 
ably good." She says her dress is ugly, or 
her bonnet fits badly. You persuade her that 
they are just as they should be. In such 
cases lies are very often told on both sides. 
The young lady who reviles herself does not 
believe what she says, but is merely fishing 
for a compliment, and she who praises her is 
equally insincere. Instead of telling a lie, 



40 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

and bringing guilt upon your conscience, you 
should tell your dissatisfied friend that a wise 
God has made us just as we are, and that to 
complain of being too lean or too fat, too 
tall or too low, is to murmur against his prov- 
idence. You should also be careful not to 
ridicule people for such imaginary defects; for 
in so doing you reproach, not them, but their 
Maker. 

Lies of equivocation are those in which 
terms that have different meanings are made 
use of, with an intention to deceive. It is 
said that a teacher once asked a boy whether 
he knew his lesson. **I hope so," said the 
boy; "for I have been over it three times." 
He had laid his books on the floor, and jumped 
three times over them. An officer who was 
besieging a town, promised that if the inhab- 
itants would surrender no blood should be 
shed. They did surrender, and he buried 
them all alive. In one sense no blood was 
shed, but not in the sense in which they un- 
derstood him. We should always use such 
terms as will convey to others the exact truth 
as we ourselves understand it. To use terms, 
which in one sense are true, but which convey 
a false impression to the mind of another, will 



LIES. 41 

not exempt us from the charge of falsehood. 
Indeed, equivocation is one of the worst kinds 
of lying. 

Lies of vanity are told to gain the good 
opinion of others. A girl pretends that she 
is very rich when she is not, or speaks often 
of her distinguished acquaintances and friends, 
as if on intimate terms with them, when per- 
haps she has only seen them at church or 
been introduced to them at a party. Affecta- 
tion might be called a practical lie of vanity. 
We assume the tones of voice or manners of 
some one else, that people may think more 
highly of us. But, like all other lies, such 
tricks will soon be detected, and we shall sink 
and not rise in the estimation of all sensible 
people. 

Lies of fear are told to conceal some fault, 
that we may escape punishment. But how 
much more noble to confess the truth than to 
deny it ! When Washington's father inquired 
about an injury done to a favorite tree in his 
absence, George, without attempting to con- 
ceal the fact, or to lay the blame on any one 
else, confessed, at once, that he had commit- 
ted the injury. His father was a thousand 
times more delighted to find that his son would 



42 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

not tell a lie than he was distressed at the in- 
jury of the tree. 

Some children will make a partial confes- 
sion when they have done wrong, but will con- 
ceal the worst circumstances; or they will 
palliate the offense, and try to make the im- 
pression that they were not so much to blame 
as they really were. All such evasions and 
concealments are falsehoods. The whole truth, 
just as it occurred, should be confessed. 

All attempts of children to deceive their 
parents or teachers, might come under this 
head. A young lady wishes to talk or eat in 
school, and puts a book before her face ; or, 
having been idle or improperly engaged, and 
perceiving the teacher's eye turned toward 
her, she smooths up her face, and tries to 
make the impression that she has been study- 
ing. All such actions are lies ; for they are 
intended to deceive. How much better to be 
frank and sincere, and to confess and forsake 
our sins, than to add to our guilt by telling 
falsehoods ! Lies of fear are sometimes told 
for the want of resolution to say "no." 
*' Don't you think my dress handsome ? Does 
not my bonnet become me ?" We fear to of- 
fend, and give a false answer. 



LIES. 43 

Practical lies are acted, not uttered. All 
false pretenses to respectability, wealth, or 
learning, might be classed here. Many ludi- 
crous anecdotes are told about such cheats at 
the different watering-places in the United 
States. A steamboat clerk will pass himself 
for a lieutenant of the navy, or a white mulatto 
for an Indian chief, and excite the admiration 
of all the ladies. There is an astonishing pro- 
pensity among mankind to make the im- 
pression that their merits and standing are 
much better than the reality. All such frauds 
are practical lies, which are sometimes fol- 
lowed by the most melancholy results. The 
fraud is concealed till a marriage takes place, 
which can only be productive of misery to 
both parties. ^ 

Young ladies, when at school, are generally 
required to write compositions. But if they 
select beautiful passages from books or peri- 
odicals, or get some one else to write their 
compositions, they make a false impression. 
Though they may not say their compositions 
are their own, still they are guilty of a prac- 
tical lie. A lady retired from a company 
where Robert Hall was present, to put her 
little daughter, four years old, to sleep. 



44 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

Wlien she returned, Mr. Hall overheard her 
telling another lady that she had put on her 
night-cap, and laid down by the little girl till 
she fell asleep. **Do you wish," said he, *'to 
have your daughter grow up a liar?" "0 
no," said the mother; *'not for any thing in 
the world." "Then," said Mr. Hall, "never 
act a lie before her." A lie may be acted as 
well as spoken. 

Lies of malignity are intended to injure 
others. Slander may consist in starting such 
false reports, or in countenancing those that 
have been started by others. We should be 
careful how we repeat reports injurious to the 
reputation of others, lest they should be false. 
Many tales that are circulated on apparently 
good authority are, nevertheless, false. Both 
sides of a story must be heard before we can 
determine what to believe or say about it. 
Did you ever notice the irreconcilable discrep- 
ancies between the statements of different 
parties ? Let two school girls have a quarrel ; 
and when you have heard from one of them a 
statement of all the circumstances, you think 
the other entirely to blame. But go to the 
other; and, according to her statement, the 
blame will be as clearly on the other side. 



LIES. 46 

Why such a difference in the statement of 
facts? Evidently because each young lady 
omits to mention, or mentions with much pal- 
liation, what was blameworthy on her part, 
while she places in the worst light the actions 
of the other. So difficult is it to blame our- 
selves, or to acknowledge even indirectly that 
we can do any thing wrong. But if, in giving 
an account of any transaction, we suppress, or 
alter, or exaggerate any of the facts, we are 
guilty of falsehood — malignant falsehood; for 
while we are trying to screen ourselves from 
blame we are injuring others. As there is so 
much falsehood afloat in the world, would it 
not be a good rule to speak only good and no 
evil of all absent persons ? 

Many persons who circulate evil reports, 
think to shield themselves from the odium of 
slander by making apologies. "1 am very 
sorry that it is so, or I hope it is false;" but, 
at the same time, they give currency to the 
report. 

Finally, are there any falsehoods which are 
not criminal ? May we be placed in such cir- 
cumstances that it will be riofht to tell a false- 
hood? You have, for instance, some secret 
which you wish to keep to yourself — what 



46 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

sliould you do when interrogated about it? 
You may give an evasive answer without tell- 
ing a falsehood, or you may refuse to answer. 
But refusing to answer, you think, amounts 
to a confession of what you wish to conceal : 
may you not then deny the fact ? The case is 
indeed a difficult one ; but still it is no doubt 
better either not to answer, or adhere to the 
truth. Some persons are so full of curiosity, 
and have so little delicacy and lady-hke refine- 
ment of feeling, that they will ask impertinent 
questions about matters which they have no 
right to know. To such persons it is perfectly 
right to reply that it is none of their business, 
and that you do not choose to be interrogated 
on that subject. 

In a word, yoimg ladies, it is safest to speak 
the truth on all subjects and on all occasions. 
The Bible declares that ** all liars shall have 
their portion in the lake that burneth with fire 
and brimstone." Let all attempts to deceive, 
by signs, or words, or actions, be forever aban- 
doned. If we could even deceive man, we 
can not deceive God. He looks upon the 
heart, and understands all the imaginations of 
the thoughts. He assures us that every secret 
thing shall be brought into judgment. Human 



LIES. 47 

nature is s.o weak, and there are so many 
temptations to tell falsehoods, that it is diffi- 
cult to keep the conscience clear. This diffi- 
culty will be greatly increased if you have 
already formed the habit of uttering what is 
false. 

But you should go to God in prayer, and 
implore his pardoning mercy and assisting 
grace. It will require constant watchfulness 
and prayer; for no bad habit can be overcome 
without the assisting grace of God. 



48 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS, 



LETTER IV. 

CONVERSATION. 

Conversation is one of the most rational 
amusements of rational beings. It brings re- 
freshing relaxation after severe labor, bodily 
or mental. It cultivates the social feelings, 
and fans the fires of friendship and affection. 
How we love to talk with a friend of the 
pleasures of other days ! How pleasantly the 
time glides away, when school girls meet to 
talk over the little matters that interest their 
hearts ! There is no embarrassment — no re- 
straint ; but stones and anecdotes flow on with- 
out interruption. 

This is one view of conversation, where 
friend meets friend, and the warmth of the 
heart gives freedom to the tongue; but con- 
versation in company is quite a different thing : 
strangers are present, and embarrassment is 
felt; the current of the thoughts apepars to 
be dried up ; dead pauses occur ; how terri- 
ble the silence ! What shall be done ? Shall 
we speak of the roads or the weather? This 



CONVERSATION. 49 

will give but momentary relief; and what 
next? Who will start something? All our 
thoughts seem to have deserted us. Can 
we not remember one anecdote — one item of 
history — any thing to keep up the conversa- 
tion, and entertain the company ? 

Happy are they who have experienced no 
such terrible embarrassment in company ? All 
young persons, at their first attempt to con- 
verse before strangers, have felt more or less 
of it. Some experience it in a much greater 
degree than others. It appears to depend 
very much on the nervous system and peculi- 
arities of constitution. The nerves of some 
people are so firm that nothing seems to move 
them. They go, unabashed, into any com- 
pany, and converse, without restraint, with 
any body. If they ever expose themselves by 
mistakes and blunders, it seems to give them 
no uneasiness. 

Others are all agitation and alarm whenever 
they meet strangers. Even persons of intel- 
ligence and fine conversational powers are 
sometimes dumb under such circumstances. 
It is said that Addison, whose conversation 
charmed his friends in private circles, could 
never converse before strangers. Some per- 

4 



50 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

sons are so acutely alive to the opinion of oth- 
ers, and so much in dread of censure, that, 
after having been in company, they -will spend 
sleepless nights and wretched days, if they 
suppose they have said the least thing amiss. 

Such a state of the nervous system is cer- 
tainly to be deplored. It is far better, how- 
ever, to have some sensibility on such subjects 
than to be totally indifferent to the opinions 
of others. But, as excessive diffidence arises 
from disease of the nerves, it can scarcely be 
counteracted by arguments. A cold bath 
every morning would, no doubt, be a better 
remedy than any thing we could say about its 
unreasonableness. 

It may, however, assist you to be more easy 
in the presence of strangers, to remember that 
Some with whom you are now most familiar 
were once strangers to you, and you were em- 
barrassed in their company. If you can only 
have resolution to get acquainted with other 
strangers, they may soon become to you very 
dear friends. Reflect, again, that these stran- 
gers, whose presence you so much dread, are, 
perhaps, equally afraid of you. ** Afraid of 
me!" you exclaim; "surely, I know so httle 
no one should be afraid of me." Very true ; 



CONVERSATION. 51 

but perhaps the strangers of whom you are in 
awe, have the very same thoughts with regard 
to themselves. If you can become acquainted, 
each one may, no doubt, learn sometliing val- 
uable from the other. 

When you, therefore, go into company, en- 
deavor to look on every one present as your 
friend, and be easy and self-possessed. If 
you lose self-possession, there is an end of 
conversation, and of all propriety and grace- 
fulness of manners. A person under embar- 
rassment, seems to labor under a temporary 
delirium^ — ^he scarcely knows what he is doing. 
If you could only feel as easy in company as 
among your schoolmates, you could readily 
find subjects of conversation ; but during em- 
barrassment the mind becomes a total blank — 
not a single idea on any subject does it appear 
to have. 

As embarrassment subsides, and you begin 
to feel easy, ideas gradually return. The 
mention of some things brings up others by 
association, and you soon become interested in 
the conversation. The hours will then pass 
pleasantly enough, and, perhaps, the evening 
be gone before you are aware of it. 

There seems to be some difference of opin- 



62 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

ion, whether we should make any previous 
preparation for conversation, or should go into 
company, and trust to the impulse of the mo- 
ment for thouG^hts and exnressions. We 
might speak more accurately, on some par- 
ticular subject, if we were to make prepara- 
tion : but our conversation would certainly be 
more formal and less animated. There would 
be some such difference as between a sermon 
written out for the pulpit, and one delivered 
extemporaneously ; that which appears to 
come warm from the heart interests us most. 

Some, who are anxious to shine in conver- 
sation, will hunt up witty and brilliant expres- 
sions, and, having committed them to memory, 
manage, somehow or other, to bring them in 
during the evening. Such conversation must 
surely be heartless. Those who practice it 
seem more desirous of reputation than of doing 
good. 

Trust rather to the impulse of the moment, 
and you will not lack thoughts or words. All 
the things we have ever heard or read may be 
revived in the mind when it is properly ex- 
cited. Writers on mental science tell us, that 
no thought which once passes through the 
mind is ever entirely lost. The language of 



CONVERSATION. 53 

cliildhood, which had been forgotten for sixty- 
years, is spoken again, in old age, by German 
and French immigrants to this country. The 
excitement of a fever sometimes revives ideas 
that had long been forgotten. So we shall 
find it, when we become interested in conver- 
sation. At first we seem to know nothing; 
but one thought suggests another, till such a 
crowd comes up, that we are unable to give 
utterance to all. Things long forgotten will 
suddenly present themselves as the excitement 
increases, and we shall, perhaps, astonish our- 
selves and our friends by the amount of our 
information. 

When the memory is bad, and we desire to 
introduce some subjects which we suppose will 
be interesting or useful to the company, we 
may make a memorandum of such subjects. 
When conversation flags, we shall, perhaps, 
be able to recall them, without referring to the 
memorandum. The mere act of writing them 
down will sufficiently impress them on the 
memory. 

If we desire to converse well, we must read 
and study, to store our minds with ideas. If 
we have no knowledge, no excitement can pro- 
duce it. But what we have read and thought 



54 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

will come to us in the hour of need, though 
we seemed before to remember nothing about 
it. "We must also practice conversation. As 
we leam to write by writing, so must we learn 
to talk by talking. No man becomes a great 
orator at once. He must practice in debating 
clubs in his youth, and make many an effort 
before he is able to command himself and his 
audience. Mr. Fox, one of the ablest debaters 
who ever spoke in the British Parliament, at- 
tained this eminence by constant practice. He 
determined to speak every night during the 
session, even at the hazard of sometimes speak- 
ing nonsense. 

To learn to converse, you must converse 
frequently, not merely in the chitchat conver- 
sation of school girls, but in company, where 
you will feel the necessity of speaking appro- 
priately, and speaking to the point. The little 
societies we recommended to you, for talking 
over every week what you had read, you would 
find very beneficial. The daily recitation of 
joiiY lessons at school will also be serviceable. 
If you will not commit answers to memory, 
but express tlie thoughts of the author in your 
own words, every answer yoii give will be 
teaching you how to converse. 



CONVERSATION. 55 

Small parties are more favorable to rational 
conversation than large ones. In a large 
crowd you can not speak more than a few 
words to each individual, and you are in dan- 
ger of thinking that any nonsense will do. In 
such a company the whole evening is wasted, 
and you return home without having heard 
any thing to make you wiser, or having com- 
mimicated any information to ochers. This is 
especially true of dancing parties. Dancing 
seems, indeed, to have been invented by those 
who were too dull or too ignorant to enjoy 
conversation. They must have some way to 
pass off the time, and they seem to find some 
enjoyment in dancing ; but how inferior must 
it be to that refined enjoyment arising from the 
use of our intellectual and moral faculties — 
the noblest part of our nature ! 

Conversation may be a means, not merely 
of amusement and social enjoyment, but of 
positive improvement. When we meet the in- 
telligent and learned, they can give us the re- 
sult of their reading and study in a more in- 
teresting form than we will find such things in 
books. It is said that Dr. Johnson made more 
sensible and striking remarks in his conversa- 
tions, as reported by Boswell, than are to be 



56 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

found in his written works. The collision of 
different intellects will frequently elicit sparks, 
whose brilliancy will dazzle the beholders. 

Endeavor, in conversation, to introduce 
profitable subjects. Leave such things as 
fashions and beaux, ribbons and lace, to such 
as are not capable of conversing on more im- 
portant subjects. 

Above all, never allow neighborhood news 
and private scandal to form a part of your 
conversation. Some ladies — ladies, too, pos- 
sessed of education and intelligence, and from 
whom w^e might expect better things — have 
such a fondness for news that they can scarcely 
bear to talk of any thing else. It is a de- 
praved appetite, which only becomes more 
craving by indulgence. They will sometimes 
interrogate children, and be familiar with per- 
sons very much inferior to themselves in intel- 
ligence, that they may learn from them all the 
news. 

Such ladies resemble those birds that feed 
on carrion. They never seem so much de- 
lighted as when they can enjoy a feast over 
the faults and foibles of their neighbors. From 
such persons turn away ; for be assured, that^ 
after they have entertained you with an ac- 



CONVERSATION. 57 

count of all the faults of your acquaintances, 
they will, with the next person, enjoy a simi- 
lar feast over your faults. 

In all your intercourse with company, be 
courteous and kind. If you indulge in wit, 
let it not be such as will wound the feelings 
of any present or absent. When you go into 
company, or engage in conversation, let your 
object be to do good, and to receive good. 
Then you can go home with an approving con- 
science, which is more valuable than gold and 
silver. 



LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS 



LETTEE V. 

MANNERS. 

Whether my subjects have any connection 
with each other or not, you will admit that 
they have, at least, variety. If I shall be 
able to present them in such a manner as to 
interest and profit you, I shall be highly 
gratified. I design in this letter to say a few 
things to you on the subject of manners. 
How important a subject to ladies ! How can 
you be a lady at all without good manners ? 
I admit that kindness and benevolence of heart 
ai*e much more important than any mere out- 
ward expression of these feelings. But how 
shall we know that the kindness exists if there 
is no expression of it? You could scarcely 
feel that your parents loved you, if their 
words and actions never expressed that love. 
It is true there may be many people in the 
world who express much kindness and affec- 
tion, when they feel none. But this is no 
reason why we should not cultivate good man- 



MANNERS. 69 

ners, and use kind expressions in our social in- 
tercourse. Counterfeit money may be circu- 
lated, but we should not, therefore, refuse all 
money. There must be some good and genu- 
ine, or there would not be that which is spu- 
rious. 

When you go into company, you pass the 
time much more agreeably when you meet 
with polite persons, who strive to make you 
happy, than when you are with such as are 
indifferent to your comfort, or only intent on 
their own enjoyment. As the golden rule re- 
quires us to treat others as we desire to be 
treated, we should strive, when in company, 
and especially when we have company at our 
own house, to make every one as happy as 
possible. 

It is, therefore, important to avoid all per- 
sonal habits that are offensive or disagreeable 
to others. You would be disgusted to see a 
gentleman picking his teeth at the table, and, 
at the same time, you may have some habit 
that is equally disgusting to others. We very 
often desire to take the **mote" out of our 
neighbor's eye, when, perhaps, a ''beam" is in 
our own eye. A very good way to ascertain 
what would be an improper action in company, 



60 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

is to notice what you consider improper in 
others. You -will find most of those things 
pointed out by those who have written on the 
subject of manners. Miss Beecher in her 
''Domestic Economy," Mr. Newcomb in 
"How to be a Lady," and Mrs. Farrar in 
the "Young Ladies' Friend," have written 
some of the best things I have seen. Lord 
Chesterfield and Count D'Orsay have, also, 
given many good rules ; but most of what they 
say is not applicable to American society. 
Their works apply to an aristocratical com- 
munity, from which all are excluded who have 
not the requisite polish of manners, or the 
requisite wealth, or blood, or standing in so- 
ciety. We should not despise those who have 
had fewer opportunities of refinement and im- 
provement than ourselves; for many a noble 
and worthy heart is concealed under a rough 
exterior. We may some day be among those 
whose advantages have been far superior to 
our own, and then we shall wish some indul- 
gence to be extended to our defects. 

Human beings are very apt to be puffed up 
and spoiled by every little circumstance that 
seems to make them superior to others. The 
little girl, who has been a few months at 



MAJTNERS. 61 

school, is apt to look down upon her play- 
mates who are not so learned as herself. If 
she Cftn play a few tunes on the piano, she 
thinks herself much better than one who can 
not. If her father has a fine, costly carriage^ 
she is altogether superior, in her own esti- 
mation, to those who ride in a plain, cheap 
one. 

Very amusing anecdotes are told about the 
girls at boarding-schools, who are eager to 
ascertain whether every new boarder that 
comes is sufficiently genteel to be entitled to 
their friendship. The marks by which they 
judge are not the moral worth, or intelligence, 
or good sense of the stranger, but her equi- 
page and dress — a very incorrect standard, in- 
deed, by which to choose associates; for the 
most worthless girl in the world might be rich, 
and ride in a fine carriage, and wear a costly 
dress, but the most upright, and amiable, and 
estimable, might be destitute of such things. 
While, therefore, you strive to be in all re- 
spects a lady, and to possess the utmost re- 
finement of manners, do not despise those 
whose manners are defective. This would 
show that you lacked a kind and generous 
heart, a much greater defect than unpolished 



62 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

manners. Man looks at the outward appear- 
ance — God looks at the heart. 

The writers on manners tell you rather what 
is inappropriate, than what is appropriate; 
they point out rather what is to be avoided, 
than what is to be done. We might illustrate 
by large quotations, but this would occupy too 
much space. We shall, therefore, only give a 
few examples, and refer you to the books be- 
fore named, and similar works. They tell you 
that you should not whisper, or stare about, 
or yawn, in company; that you should say 
nothing to wound the feelings of any one pres- 
ent, by unkind remarks about their friends, or 
the sect or party to which they belong ; that 
you should never contradict any one flatly, 
nor be inattentive when any one speaks to 
you ; that at table you should not help your- 
self till others are served, nor select the best 
articles of food, nor eat greedily, nor leave 
your plate full of fragments, nor do many 
otlier rude things **too tedious mention." In 
connection with table manners, I would add, 
that talking at table about what you like or 
dislike, is impohte. Neither should you ex- 
press any dissatisfaction with the food before 
you, or the manner in which it is prepared. 



MANNERS. 63 

This would wound tlie feelings of the lady of 
the house, and be a transgression of the golden 
rule. I have heard an anecdote of a gentle- 
man who, when he had good coffee, usually 
took one cup for breakfast ; but if he was from 
home, and got indifferent coffee, he always 
took two cups, lest the lady of the house might 
think he did not like it. Surely he was a 
well-bred gentleman. 

If you notice that any article on the table 
is scarce, as peas, for instance, may be when 
they first come, be helped very sparingly to 
that article; and never be helped more than 
twice to any thing, however abundant. If you 
have gormandizing propensities, it is certainly 
indiscreet to exhibit them. 

It is impolite to laugh in company when a 
mistake is made, or when an action is awk- 
wardly performed. If any one, attempting 
to sit down, should miss the chair, and fall to 
the floor, perhaps half the persons in the room 
would laugh, instead of offering to help them 
up, and expressing sympathy with their mis- 
fortune. Some girls will laugh when a mis- 
take is made in recitation, or any action is 
awkwardly performed. To laugh when any 
thing obscene or immodest is said or occurs in 



64 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

company, is not only impolite, but immodest. 
A young lady must have a very impure im- 
agination, when every little occurrence or im- 
proper expression suggests impure thoughts. 
And she must have very little sense of pro- 
priety, when she betrays the vulgarity and 
impurity of her thoughts by laughing. I have 
often been made to blush, by immodest girls 
putting a wrong construction on the most 
harmless things, or which, if improper, should, 
at any rate, have passed unnoticed. Not a 
muscle of the face, or motion of the eye, 
should betray that you have taken the slight- 
est notice of any such thing. 

To make remarks in a low tone about per- 
sons present, is exceedingly improper. It is 
almost impossible to do such a thing without 
betraying it. The glancing of the eye, and 
the expression of the countenance, will show 
what you are at. It must be very embarrass- 
ing to be made the subject of such remarks. 
How would you like to be so treated by oth- 
ers ? Young ladies do not always seem to be 
aware how much may be expressed by the 
eye and countenance. Let any one in com- 
pany mispronounce a word, or make some 
other blunder — you cast your eye round, and 



MANNERS. 65 

sec young ladies exchanging glances and 
smiles, and you at once understand the ridi- 
cule. 

We have been speaking thus far of what is 
ill-bred or impolite; but you wish to hear 
something of good manners, and what you are 
to practice. It is difficult to give any such 
directions. Avoid what is wrong, and you 
will have made considerable progress in doing 
what is proper. If you will obey the Bible 
rule, and love your neighbor as yourself; if 
you have real kindness of heart toward all, 
and express that kindness in your actions, you 
will be polite. You will not wound the feel- 
ings of any, you will not laugh at or ridicule 
them, you will not do what is disgusting or 
offensive. It is impossible for you to become 
polite and refined in your manners, merely by 
reading directions in books. You must go 
into company, and act your part in society, to 
learn how to act appropriately. Endeavor 
always to be calm and unembarrassed ; for if 
you are confused, you will act awkwardl}''. 
Qualify yourself by reading and study to take 
your part in conversation, but make no effort 
to display what you know. Be rather modest 
and reserved, than bold and forward. Be 

6 



66 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS, 

yourself, and never try to act another, or put 
on any airs of affectation. All affectation is 
unnatural, and is sure to be detested. The 
voice and manner of an affected girl betray 
effort and constraint. What she says does not 
appear to come from the heart. Let me en- 
treat you again to be simply, honestly your- 
self, and avoid all affectation. It will only 
cause you to be pitied or despised. No one 
can love an affected girl. 

To be able to converse appropriately in 
company, you must practice conversation in 
your ordinary intercourse with each other. If 
you talk nothing to each other but idle non- 
sense, when you go into company and en- 
deavor to engage in grave conversation, you 
will feel awkward, and perhaps be disposed to 
laugh at your own effort. This, I suppose, is 
the reason why so many children laugh in your 
face when you attempt to converse with them. 
They are diverted at the thought that they 
should be expected to say any thing sensible. 

When you attend church, or religious exer- 
cises of any kind, show your good-breeding 
by the most respectful attention to what is 
going on. It is impolite to be inattentive to 
any one addressing you any where, but it is 



MANNERS, 67 

sinful to whisper and laugh while the messen- 
ger of Christ is delivering to you the Gospel, 
or while your parents or teachers are offering 
up prayers, or addressing you on religious 
subjects. Whenever the great Jehovah is 
worshiped, there should be profound and rev- 
erent attention. Any inattention or lightness 
on such an occasion, is worse than ill-breed- 
ing — it is disrespect and contempt for the God 
who is worshiped. 

Respect for the aged is an important part 
of good-breeding. The age must surely be 
degenerating, when the young treat the aged 
with disrespect or rudeness. Be polite to them 
when in their company, and speak of them re- 
spectfully when absent. How destitute of 
proper refinement must the little girl be, who 
says "Hopkins," or "'Old Hopkins," when 
she should say ''Mr. Hopkins," or "Old Mr. 
Hopkins." Give all persons some title of re- 
spect when you speak of them ; and when you 
speak of a minister of the Gospel, say the 

"Rev. Mr. H ," or whatever his name 

may be. 

There is one point of good manners which 
few school girls seem properly to understand. 
When they can sing, or play on the piano, they 



68 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

almost invariably refuse, if requested to do 
so. This is rude. However indifferent your 
music, you should comply at least once, to 
show your disposition to gratify the company ; 
tlien if you are hoarse, or otherwise unpre- 
pared to perform, you can beg to be excused. 
To refuse when you might sing or play, is 
mere affectation. On the other hand, it is 
impolite to insist strongly on any one's singing 
or playing. If their sense of good-breeding 
will not induce them to do so, when politely 
requested, the matter should not be pressed. 

School girls should be polite and lady-like 
in all their intercourse with each other. Some 
girls are noisy and rude in their laughing and 
talking, in their plays, and amusements. Some, 
indeed, are so rough that it is exceedingly dis- 
agreeable to engage in any amusement with 
them. They push, and slap, and tear clothes 
with such unlady-like rudeness, that one would 
suppose they had been brought up with the 
roughest boys. 

Young ladies must certainly be cheerful, and 
laugh at proper times; but they may do all 
these like ladies, and not like hoidens. If you 
are rude and boisterous in your daily habits, 
70U can not act the party of a well-bred lad 



MANNERS. 69 

in company. Such as yon are in j'-our every- 
day intercourse with each other, such will you 
be in company. If you say yes, or no, to 
each other at school, you will feel awkward 
when you attempt to say "Yes, Miss," or 
''1^0, Madam." If you can find no amuse- 
ment but romping, and rude plays, you will 
be embarrassed when you have to sit still and 
act like a rational being. Let me entreat you, 
therefore, always to remember, that you are a 
lady, and try to act like one. All you may 
read in books will not make you a lady, unless 
you practice what you read. Treat every 
school-mate with respect and politeness, and 
they will treat you so. ISTever snatch a letter 
or composition out of another's hand, and 
run oflf to read it. Do not look over another's 
shoulder when writing, nor into her portfolio 
when absent, if she has accidentally left it 
open. Such things are indelicate, as well as 
impolite. 

But it would be impossible to tell you all 
about manners in one letter ; it would require 
a volume instead of a letter. Read the works 
to which I have referred, and similar ones. 
To be truly refined and polite, is a matter of 
great importance. It will add to your own 



70 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

happiness, and to the happmess of all with 
whom you associate. But remember that 
purity of heart is a matter of much greater 
importance. To have the approbation of our 
fellow-beings, is desirable ; to have the appro- 
bation of God, is indispensable. Pray to him, 
therefore, to pardon your sins, and give you 
the wedding garment, that you may be pre- 
pared to enter into the marriage supper of the 
Lamb. 



RELIGION. 71 



LETTER VI. 
RELIGION. 

You think it desirable to be able to converse 
well, and to have appropriate and lady-like 
manners ; but how much more important is it 
to have the soul prepared to meet God, and to 
appear well in his presence ! 

But what is the soul? That immaterial 
part of our nature which thinks and reasons. 
It is said to be immaterial, because it does not 
possess the properties of matter. Matter may- 
be known by some of the senses. This paper 
is matter ; we can see and feel it. The air is 
matter ; it occupies space, and we can feel it, 
though we can not see it. Matter can not 
think or reason, but the soul can ; and we, 
therefore, call it an immaterial or spiritual ex- 
istence. • 

It may be difficult to form a clear idea of a 
spirit. We, however, admit many things to 
be true which are mysterious. What is more 
mysterious than electricity, as it darts across 



72 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

the heavens in the lightning*, or conveys intel- 
hgence across the continent by the telegraph ? 
It is not the body or the brain which thinks. 
If the body were dead, it could not think; 
thouo'h it miffht have the same heart, and 
brain, and other organs, as when alive. The 
eye of a dead person can not see, though the 
image of external things may still be made on 
its optic nerve. But the optic nerve can not 
see without a soul. The eye is merely the in- 
strument which the soul uses in seeino-. 

The telescope and microscope are instru- 
ments used to assist the vision, but no one 
supposes that these instruments can see. 

A very simple experiment will convince you 
that the soul is something distinct from the 
eye or the body. Fix your eye on any object 
in front of you, and keep it in that position ; 
at the same time direct your attention to some 
object to the right or left: in this way you 
will find that you can see many different ob- 
jects without changing the position of the 
eye. Now, the images of all things in front 
of you, are made on the optic nerve, when- 
ever your eyes are open, and there is light. 
But you see only the object to which the at- 
tention is directed. What is it which directs 



RELIGION. 73 

the attention to this object or that, while the 
eye stands still? What can it be but the 
soul — the immaterial, immortal soul? It is 
the soul which sees; the eye is the window 
at which it looks out. So the ear and the 
hand are instruments used by the soul to ob- 
tain ideas of external things. 

Perhaps a difficulty may arise in some of 
your minds. If it is the soul, you say, which 
sees and feels, how do the lower animals see 
and feel, which have no souls ? But how do 
you know they have no souls ? They certainly 
have not rational and accountable souls, as we 
have, but still they may have souls of an in- 
ferior kind, which will answer their purposes, 
and yet not be immortal. And why may not 
God make variety in souls, as well as in any 
thing else ? What variety do we behold in all 
his works ! So he may make souls possessing 
various degrees of rationality — some of them* 
accountable, and some not so. The Bible 
itself intimates this, when it says : The 
spirit of a beast goeth downward, but the 
spirit of man goeth upward to God, who gave 
it. This seems to intimate that the souls of 
the lower animals will perish with their bodies, 
but the soul of man is immortal. 



74 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

But though our souls will never die, they 
are depraved and stained by sin, and need the 
cleansing blood of Christ to prepare them to 
meet God in peace. 

''Life and immortality are brought to light 
in the Gospel." By the death of our Lord 
Jesus Christ, provision is made for the salva- 
tion of guilty sinners, who will repent of their 
sins and believe in his name. 

It will be impossible, in a single letter, to 
explain the general principles of religion. I 
suppose you admit its truth and importance. 
I desire, at present, to urge you to give the 
subject your serious and earnest attention 
now while you are young. Why should you 
desire to postpone the subject of religion till 
you get old ? Can you be happy while you 
live in sin, and rebel against God? Alas! 
you are very much mistaken if you suppose 
so. Sinful pleasures and pursuits, I know, 
have their allurements, and promise much 
happiness; but they sadly disappoint. The 
sinful gratification will soon be over, but the 
sting of guilt will be left behind. For long 
years afterward the remembrance of this guilt 
will make you unhappy ; yea, it will plant 
thorns in your dying pillow, unless the sin is 



RELIGION, 75 

pardoned, and the foul stain washed away by 
the blood of Christ. Our very natures are 
impure, and we must be born again to be 
happy and to be safe. '* Blessed are the pure 
in heart, for they shall see God." 

The Spirit of God has, no doubt, already 
impressed your heart with a sense of your sin- 
fulness and ingratitude in slighting a Savior's 
love. God calls on you to choose whether 
you will give your heart to him, or be devoted 
to the vanities and pleasures of this life. Will 
you say to Christ, when he knocks at the door 
of your heart, *' Go thy way for this time," or 
will you say, *'Here, Lord, I give my heart 
to thee?" If you are disposed to seek the 
Lord, the Bible gives you every encourage- 
ment : *'Ask, and you shall receive; seek, and 
you shall find;" "Blessed are they that 
mourn, for they shall be comforted;" ''Come 
unto me, and I will give you rest." When- 
ever you turn your thoughts to the subject of 
religion, difficulties will present themselves, and 
Satan will lay snares for your feet; but God 
has promised assisting grace in every trial and 
temptation. Trust, then, his promises, and 
believe that he desires to bless you. As the 
father rejoiced to receive the returning prodi- 



76 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

gal, SO there is joy in heaven over every sin- 
ner that repenteth. 

Young persons often have an impression 
that rehgion would diminish their happiness. 
How far is this from the truth ! *' There is no 
peace, saith my God, to the wicked;'* but 
great peace have they who love and obey 
God's law. Did you ever see a person lately 
converted — one who had just tasted that the 
Lord was gracious ? Such a one will tell you 
that religion affords more real happiness in 
one hour than can be found in a whole life- 
time of sinful pleasures. He who is justified 
by faith in Christ, has peace with God — a 
peace which the world can not give — a happi- i 
ness superior to all earthly joy. 

Why, then, will you not become a Chris- 
tian ? How long will you halt between two 
opinions ? You pursue the empty bubbles of 
worldly pleasure, which burst when you at- 
tempt to grasp them; but if death should 
overtake you in your career, how could you 
pass through the dark valley without a Savior 
to support and comfort you ? 

Even if you should live to old age, would 
it not be much better to be a Christian, and 
live for high and noble purposes, than to de- 



•RELIGION. 77 

grade the noble faculties wliicli God has be- 
stowed on you, by living in frivolity and sin ? 
Make the comparison in your own mind be- 
tween some gay and fashionable lady, and 
some eminent Christian. Suppose the one to 
have wealth, education, and beauty ; suppose 
her to be admired for her personal charms, 
and her fascinating powers of conversation; 
let her visit the theater, shine in the ball- 
room, and excite the envy of half her sex 
hj her magnificence and splendor. But re- 
member, on the other hand, that such a lady 
must neglect her family; she is so devoted 
to fashionable pleasures, that the care of her 
children must devolve on some one else — 
some one, perhaps, poorly qualified for the 
important trust. How excited and inter- 
ested is she when preparing for a ball or for 
the theater! How much time spent in the 
preparation ! How high are her hopes of 
happiness ! But see her return late at night, 
fatigued and sad — perhaps vexed and morti- 
fied lest some fortunate rival may have eclipsed 
her ! She throws herself on her bed to endure 
a few hours of feverish restlessness, for 
''balmy sleep" seldom refreshes her. 

After a while, death looks this lady in the 



78 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

face. The vain pomps and vanities of the 
■world must now be resigned; but, alas! no 
preparation has been made to meet God. Her 
conscience is now aroused, and she is troubled 
at the recollection of mercies abused, gracious 
opportunities neglected, and a Savior's love 
slighted. Sins long forgotten rise up in her 
memorj, and she lies down to die in sorrow 
and despair. 

Let us now suppose a lady of a different 
kind — one who has no taste for fashionable 
display. Suppose her to be a keeper at home — 
to be economical and industrious, but anxious 
to get rich. 

She finds amusement in reading, and enjoys 
many a hearty laugh at the foibles of her 
friends, or the failings of mankind. Her heart, 
however, is not right with God. She prays 
not for her children, and makes no effort to 
bring them up for Christ. To do good while 
she lives is no part of her plan. Worldly gain 
is her god ; her heart adores a golden idol, but 
the great Jehovah has no place in it. 

At last the summons comes: ''Give an ac- 
count of thy stewardship.'* She shrinks back 
in horror, and finds a dying bed, without 
Christ, to be a bed of thorns. 



RELIGION. 79 

Let me now present you a different charac- 
ter — a real Christian lady. She occupied an 
elevated position in society, and possessed an 
uncommon share of personal beauty. Her 
intellect was of a high order, and it was well 
stored with various information. Her grace- 
fulness of manners and fascinating powers of 
conversation, made her the delight of all com- 
panies where she visited. In her youth she 
had been fond of dancing, and other worldly 
amusements, in which no one could have been 
better calculated to attract admiration than 
herself. 

While leading a gay and thoughtless life, 
fond of dress and display, she went one day 
to church, but with little thought of worship- 
ing God. But the Spirit of God shone upon 
her heart, and she felt that, in his presence, 
she was a vile and wretched sinner; she felt 
heartily ashamed of the gay clothing that 
adorned her person, so little in accordance 
with the deformity which she now discovered 
in her heart. She was alarmed at her condi- 
tion, and began to call on God for mercy. 
She renounced the world and its glittering 
toys, and resolved to devote the remainder of 
her life to the service of God. She found the 



80 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

pardon of her sins through the blood of Christ, 
became a member of the Presbyterian Church, 
and was one of the most holy and useful ladies 
I ever knew. 

She was remarkably plain in her dress. She 
scarcely ever had more than two or three 
dresses at a time ; and my impression is, that 
she never wore jewelry of any description. 
She never danced, or attended balls or thea- 
ters after she made a profession of religion. 
She was not willing to venture on doubtful 
ground. Her heart was filled with love and 
gratitude to God, and she had no desire to in- 
dulge in any practice of questionable propri- 
ety. She labored to do good, and to persuade 
her children and friends to be the friends of 
God. No one could converse with her with- 
out being impressed with the beauty and love- 
liness of religion. She was ready to visit the 
poor and the afflicted, and to pray with the 
penitent and the dying. 

I esteem it one of the happiest events of 
my life to have been acquainted with her, and 
to have been encouraged and assisted by her 
in the beginning of my Christian course. 
She claimed kindred with some of the highest 



RELIGION. 81 

families in the nation, but slie esteemed it a 
greater honor to be a child of God, and an 
heir of immortality. 

Such, young ladies, is a feeble sketch of 
Mrs. AoATHA Marshall, of "Woodford county, 
Ky. ; one of the brightest and best of God's 
children on earth, but now a saint in heaven. 
She was not terrified at the approach of death, 
but in that dark hour the everlasting arms 
were around her. Her daughter told me that 
when she was about to breathe her last, they 
inquired whether Christ still supported her. 
She replied, and they were, perhaps, jher last 
words : 

' *' How can I sink witli such a prop 

As my eternal God ?" 

How much better, my young friends, to 
live a Christian, and die in this way, than to 
prefer the follies of the world, and at last lie 
down in sorrow ! Can I not persuade you to 
make the happy choice, and seek, from this 
day forward, a crown of immortality that 
fadeth not away ? 

You may have trials and difficulties, af- 
flictions and sorrows, in this world, but Christ 
will, at last, wipe away all tears from all 
6 



82 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

faces, mid 'Hlie ransomed of the Lord shall 
return, and come to Zion with songs and ever- 
lasting joy upon their heads; they shall ob- 
tain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing 
shall flee away." 



PRAYER. 83 



LETTER VII. 

PRAYER. 

*'GoD is a Spirit, and those that worship 
him must worship him in spirit and in truth." 
It is sometimes difficult for young persons to 
form an idea of God, who is without begin- 
ning and without end, and infinite in all his 
perfections. You think you can understand 
what matter is, but how are you to know what 
a spirit is ? Your own soul is a spirit — that 
part of your nature which reasons and thinks. 
God is a Spirit — a being of infinite wisdom and 
intelligence. This God must have existed from 
all eternity ; for if his existence had a begin- 
ning, he must have been created by some other 
being, and that being would be God. So we 
must suppose some being to have existed with- 
out a beginning, who was not created, but is 
the Creator of all other things. 

This God is infinite in all his attributes. 
His power must be infinite to create, and his 
wisdom to contrive and arrange every thing 



84 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

with sucli skill. He is, also, infinite in holi- 
ness, justice, truth, and knowledge. His love 
and mercy, too, are infinite, as displayed in the 
gift of his Son to die for sinners. How great 
and glorious is God! He is every-where 
present, and knows what occurs in every part 
of the universe. We can not see him or feel 
him with our bodily senses, and yet he is very 
near us, and understands the very secrets of 
our hearts. We should not, therefore, think 
of God as a large man, seated in heaven, but 
as a spiritual, living, intelligent, holy being, 
every-where present. 

This God we should worship in spirit and 
in truth; which means, I suppose, that we 
should worship him sincerely in our hearts, 
and not merely with external forms and cere- 
monies. It is not enough to draw near to 
him with our lips, when our liearts are far 
from him. 

And is it unreasonable that we should wor- 
ship God, our Maker? His tender mercies 
have been over us from infancy to the present 
hour. Though we have sinned against him 
for "many long, rebellious years," yet he has 
delivered us from dangers, preserved us when 
we were sick, and surrounded us with a thou- 



PRAYER. 85 

sand blessings. Surely, we should praise God 
for his goodness, and worship him with sincere 
and humble hearts. 

But how shall we worship God ? Prayer is 
said to be the chief part of worship. *' Prayer 
is the offering up of the desires of the heart 
to God for things agreeable to his will, in the 
name of Christ." When we approach God 
in prayer, it should be with profound rever- 
ence and solemnity. We should feel that he 
is a great and glorious being, and we are per- 
ishing and sinful worms. 

We should thank him, with grateful hearts, 
for all his mercies, and with deep humility and 
sorrow should make confession of our sins. 
When the prodigal returned, he said, " Father, 
I have sinned against Heaven, and in thy 
sight, and am no more worthy to be called 
thy son." David said, ''Against thee, thee 
only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy 
sight." The Bible assures us thai; if we con- 
fess our sins, God is faithful and just to for- 
give us our sins, and to cleanse us from all 
unrighteousness. We shall not be able to re- 
member all our sins, but we should recall as 
many as possible, and confess them to God 
writh all their ao-ffravatiuG; circumstances. 



86 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

While we thus confess our sins with re- 
pentance and shame, we should pray for par- 
don. There are many promises of forgiveness 
and mercy to those who trust in the Lord 
Jesus Christ: ''Look unto me, and be ye 
saved, all the ends of the earth; for I am 
God, and there is none else ;" " Come unto me, 
all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and i 
will give you rest." Paul and Silas said to 
the jailer, ''Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, 
and thou shalt be saved." 

When we pray, therefore, for God's mercy, 
we should expect to receive it. We should 
believe that, notwithstanding our great un- 
worthiness, he desires to bless us. We should 
ask in the name of Christ, and ask in faith, 
and he will forgive our sins and renew our 
hearts. 

Some suppose that because God is an un- 
changeable being, there is no use in praying — 
that our prayers will not change his mind. 
The spiritual, as well as the temporal, blessings 
of God, may be conditional. The farmer 
can not make the corn and wheat grow, and 
if he should, therefore, say there is no use in 
plowing and planting, he would act with great 
folly. Let him do his part, and God will send 



PRAYER. 87 

the sunshine and the rain to produce a crop. 
We can not change our own hearts, or forgive 
our own sins ; but God has promised to give 
the Holy Spirit to them that ask him. ** Ask, 
and you shall receive ; seek, and you shall 
find," says the blessed Savior. Difficulties, and 
doubt, and darkness, will often oppress the 
mind, in coming to a throne of grace ; but we 
should persevere through all difficulties, and 
God will bestow the blessing. He has prom- 
ised to look in mercy to that man who is of a 
humble and contrite spirit, and who trembles 
at his word. 

We should pray for others, as well as for 
ourselves. We can hardly think that our 
poor, imperfect prayers, can do good to any 
one else. But if God has promised to an- 
swer prayer, his word should be sufficient. 
When Christ was on earth, he put clay on a 
man's eyes, and restored him to sight. It was 
not the clay that restored him, but the power 
of God. So it is not our prayer that does 
any one good, but God's blessing sent in an- 
swer to that prayer. Children should be in 
the constant habit of praying for their parents, 
and brothers, and sisters, and all their friends. 
They should pray for the poor, and for the 



88 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

ricli, and for all the world. St. Paul says, 
that ''supplications, and prayers, and giving 
of thanks, should be made for all men." 
Christ teaches us that we should pray even 
for our enemies. I trust school girls will not 
forget that it is their special duty to pray for 
their teachers and school-mates, that God may 
bless their instructions, and send the influ- 
ences of his Spirit on all the school. 

How often should we pray? David says, 
*' Morning, noon, and night will I pray and 
cry unto thee." Daniel prayed three times a 
day, bowing on his knees, with his windows 
open toward Jerusalem. Every person should, 
at least, pray in the morning and at night. 
If they can also pray at noon, and in the even- 
ing twilight, it will not be too frequently. 
The more we can live in the Spirit of prayer 
the better. 

If we only pray when we ai-e sick, or dur- 
ing a thunder-storm, or when some danger 
threatens, such prayers will avail very little. 
But if we pray every day in spirit and in truth, 
God will hear our prayers and give us sup- 
porting grace. We should have our regular 
times for private prayer, and should not, on 
any account, neglect them. If we feel indis- 



PRAYER. 89 

posed to pray, and neglect it one time, we will 
be moi-e apt to neglect it again, till prayer will 
be given up. Our thoughts will sometimes 
wander, and we will find it difficult to pray. 
We may even be tempted to desist altogether, 
under the impression that God will not hear 
such heartless prayers. But we should still 
persevere, and God will, after awhile, touch 
our hearts and give us the spirit of prayer. 
God looks at the desires of the heart, and if 
we really desire his pardoning mercy, and his 
saving grace, he will bestow them, if we per- 
severe in asking. "Blessed are they that 
hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they 
shall be filled." 

It "will be a good plan to read a few verses 
in your Bible, or Hymn-Book, before you 
kneel down to pray. It will assist to collect 
your thoughts and give them a proper direc- 
tion. Then you can plead the promises of 
God, and ask him to fulfill them in your case. 
You should pray for God's direction in every 
thing you undertake, and his blessing on all 
you do. You should ask him to assist you in 
your studies, to strengthen your mind, and 
give you a clear understanding of difficult 
things. When you are sick, you should pray 



90 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

to be restored to health, and when well, that 
the blessing of health may be continued to 
you ; and, that you may be able to improve it, 
Christ teaches us to pray, ** Give us this day 
our daily bread." Bread for the body and the 
soul are both the gift of God, and we should 
pray for them, and be thankful when we re- 
ceive them. 

When we pray for any blessing which God 
has explicitly promised,' as the pardon of sin 
through Christ, then we may confidently ex- 
pect an answer. But if there is no express 
promise of the thing for which we ask, we 
should say, "Thy will be done.'* We may 
pray for a sick friend, but God may see it best 
to remove that friend by death. Here we 
must submit to God, and acquiesce in his will. 
He is our heavenly Father, Avhose tender mer- 
cies are over all his works, and he will do that 
which is best for us. St. Paul prayed three 
times that the thorn in the flesh misrht be re- 

o 

moved. God did not I'emove it, but he said, 
<<My grace shall be sufficient for thee." 

What a blessed thino- it is to feel that God 
is our Father and Friend, and to have access 
to him in prayer. "In all thy ways acknowl- 
edge him, and he will direct thy paths." 



PRAYER. 91 

1 would earnestly recommend to school 
girls to have a weekly prayer meeting among 
themselves. If there are only four or five 
professors of religion, they will have enough 
to begin ; for Christ says, ** Where two or three 
are assembled in my name, there am I in the 
midst." Perhaps one of the teachers would 
join you, and lead the exercises. It will 
greatly strengthen your hearts in the service 
of God, to unite your voices in prayer. Do 
not refuse to take a part, because you fear you 
can not make as fine a prayer as some others. 
Your words may be few and simple, but if 
they come from a sincere heart, God may 
make them the instrument of good. Such a 
prayer meeting in a school can not fail to do 
good. Your school-mates may thus be led to 
Christ, and be, at last, stars in your crown of 
rejoicing. 

Are there any among those whom I am ad- 
dressing, that never pray? — who live every 
day on God's bounty, without thanking him 
for his kindness ? — who sin every day against 
his goodness, without asking for pardon? — 
exposed continually to his wrath, and yet 
living carelessly in sin? You lie down at 
night, and rise in the morning, without think- 



92 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

ing of the great God in whom you live, and 
move, and have your being ! What a melan- 
choly sight must this be for angels to look 
upon ! 

Will not you, young lady, who may be read- 
ing these words, now begin to pray, if you 
never prayed before ? Begin, if you can only 
say, "God be merciful to me, a sinner." It 
is not the length of our prayers that God re- 
gards, but the sincerity of the heart, and the 
faith with which we ask. 

"Prayer is the soul's sincere desii-e, ^ 
Unuttered or expressed ; 
The motion of a hidden fire, 
That trembles in the breast." 

Is it possible that any of you are ashamed 
to pray ? — not ashamed to sin against your 
heavenly Father, but ashamed to be seen upon 
your knees, or to have it kno"\vn that you 
pray ? Ah ! how greatly must we be fallen to 
be ashamed of that in which we should re- 
joice as our highest privilege ! We are rebel 
worms, but God has created a throne of grace, 
sprinkled with the blood of Christ, to which 
we may come and pray for pardon and salva- 
tion. How eagerly should we come ! With 
what earnestness should Ave pray! Though 



PRAYER. 93 

all the world should reproach us, we should 
never be ashamed. Christ says if Ave are 
ashamed of him in this world, he will be 
ashamed of us in the great day of judgment. 
May the Lord enable you to pray with earn- 
estness and perseverance, till he shall take you 
to himself above ! 



94 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 



LETTEE VIII. 

THE SABBATH. 

As I have spoken of tlie importance of re- 
ligion, and the necessity of prayer, let mo 
add a few words about the duties of the Sab- 
bath. If you slight the Sabbath, you will 
soon slight all religious obligations, and neg- 
lect all prayer. If you ''remember the Sab- 
bath day, to keep it holy," it may be the 
means of leading you to God, and to the 
knowledge of his salvation. 

The Sabbath was instituted at man's crea- 
tion. When God had fitted up our world for 
man's residence, had furnished it with an 
almost endless variety of plants and animals, 
and had created man himself, he rested from 
his labors, and set apart and sanctified the 
Sabbath. He did so because he knew that 
such a day would be required for man's bodily 
necessities, as well as for his religious im- 
provement. We need rest at night, after the 



THE SABBATH. 95 

toils of the day ; and we need rest one day in 
seven, to recruit all our bodily powers. 

Dr. Edwards, in the "Sabbath Manual," 
has collected a large number of facts, to show 
that both man and the inferior animals require 
a day of rest. Take any number of men at 
hard labor; let part of them work every day 
without rest, and part rest on the Sabbath ; 
those who rest on the Sabbath will perform 
more work in six months, and be in better 
health at the end of that time, than those who 
labor every day alike. Let droves of cattle, 
or sheep, be started to a distant market; the 
drove that stops on Sabbath will arrive at the 
market earlier, and in better condition, than 
the one that travels every day without rest. 
Physicians testify that all men require rest 
one day in seven, to recruit the exhausted 
powers of nature, and that the observance of 
the Sabbath promotes health and long life. 

But if the body requires a day of rest, how 
much more is it necessary for our spiritual im- 
provement ! If man needed the Sabbath when 
first created, how much more does he now re- 
quire it, when guilt and depravity have alien- 
ated him from his God! ''Remember the 
Sabbath day, to keep it holy," was one of 



96 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

the commands given amid tlie tliiinders of 
Mt. Sinai. It was not intended for tlie Jews 
merely, but, like the other commands, was 
meant to be obligatory on all men. Six days 
were allowed for labor, and the transaction of 
worldly business, but the seventh was reserved 
for religious duties. The head of the family, 
and his children, and servants, and guests, and 
even his cattle, must abstain from labor on the 
consecrated day. Isaiah teaches us, that if 
we would keep the Sabbath properly, we must 
not think our own thoughts, nor speak our 
own words, nor find our own pleasure, but 
account the day holy to the Lord, and honor- 
able. 

Our Savior observed the Jewish Sabbath, 
but, after his resurrection, the day was 
changed to the first day of the week, in honor 
of that great event. He uniformly met his 
disciples on the first day of the week. The 
apostles had their religious meetings on that 
day. When St. Paul was at Troas, he tarried 
several days ; and when the discij)les came to- 
gether on the first day of the week, to break 
bread — that is, to take the sacrament of the 
Lord's supper — Paul preached to them. He 
also directed that collections should be made 



THE SABBATH. 97 

in the churclies for religious purposes, on the 
first day of the week. 

The practice of the apostles, and of all the 
primitive Christians, is presumed to be suf- 
ficient authority for the change. Though 
there is no explicit command to change the 
day, yet the apostles acted by Divine author- 
ity, and under the influence of inspiration, and 
their example has the force of a command. 
Christ had told them that he had man}'- things 
to say to them, which they were not then able 
to bear ; but when the Spirit of truth should 
come, he would guide them unto all truth. 
The change of the Sabbath was, no doubt, one 
of these things. 

And why should not the day be changed, 
after Christ's resurrection? The seventh day 
had been appointed to commemorate the crea- 
tion ; but when Christ had made an atonement 
for sin, brought in everlasting righteousness, 
accomplishc 1 the ancient prophecies, and risen 
triumphantly from the dead, it was proper that 
the work of redemption should be commemo- 
rated by changing the Sabbath to the first day 
of the week. 

" 'Twas great to speak a world from naught ; 
'Twas greater to redeem." 
7 ■" 



98 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

If ''the morning stars sang together, and 
all the sons of God shouted for joy," when 
this beautiful world rose into being, angel 
bands also came down to announce the birth 
of the Messiah, proclaiming *'glad tidings of 
great joy to all people, peace on earth, and 
good will to man ;" they no doubt hovered un- 
seen about the cross, in that dark hour when 
he drank the bitter cup of human woe. Early 
on the third morn, these bright messengers 
came to roll away the stone from the sepul- 
cher, and announce to the weeping disciples 
that Christ was risen. Henceforth, it was 
proper that the day of religious solemnities 
should be the day of his resurrection. 

Shall we, then, look upon the day on w^hich 
the ''gates of Gospel grace" were opened to 
a ruined world, as a disagreeable day ? Let 
us rather rejoice that the light of immortality 
has dawned on the world. On this glad day 
the heralds of the Gospel cry, ''Behold the 
Lamb of God, who taketh away the sin of the 
world." Shall we treat the day with neglect, 
or pass its precious hours in amusement or in 
sin, when Heaven proclaims such messages of 
mercy to man ? 

We shall not, it is true, feel disposed to 



THE SABBATH. 99 

attend to the duties of the Sabbath, if we 
have neglected rehgion on all the other days 
of the week. But if we have read the Bible 
daily, and have visited a throne of grace in 
prayer, we shall esteem it a privilege to devote 
the Sabbath to the worship of God and the 
interests of the soul. What would the dying 
sinner give for one holy Sabbath day to pre- 
pare to meet his God ! How will it pain us, 
in the dying hour, to remember that we have 
neglected and wasted these precious days! 

The command says, *'Kemember the Sab- 
bath.*' This seems to imply that we should 
think of it beforehand, and make preparation. 
Much may be done on Saturday toward pre- 
paring the meals for Sunday. A cold dinner 
is best, as it allows a larger number of the 
family to attend preaching. No work should 
be done, unless work of necessity or mercy, 
as we are taught by the example of Christ. 
The farmer should not plow his fields, nor the 
merchant sell his goods, nor the school girl 
study her lessons or write her letters. Our 
reading, and conversation, and thoughts, 
should, as far as possible, be on religious sub- 
jects. If the merchant, while in church, 
should be thinking of the sale of his goods. 



100 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

or counting up his profits, lie would not be 
keeping the Sabbath properly. The lawyer 
might take his seat very decently in church, 
and be studying a case which he was to have 
in court on Monday. So the school girl, in- 
stead of listening to the sermon, might employ 
her thoughts about her Monday's lessons ; or, 
she might be noticing how every one was 
dressed, and be able to tell the color of every 
ribbon at church, but not remember a word of 
the sermon ; or she might allow her imagina- 
tion to run on scenes of vice and crime, which 
would corrupt her heart, and make her worse, 
instead of better. "Man looketh on the out- 
ward appearance, but God looketh on the 
heart." It will be difficult to confine the 
thoughts to the subject of religion on the Sab- 
bath, when they have been wholly absorbed 
with other things during the week. We must 
not, however, allow them to be wholly en- 
grossed with other things, but give some at- 
tention to religion every day. We must, also, 
pray earnestly for God's assisting grace to put 
our hearts in proper frame. 

We should contrive to diversify the ob- 
jects of attention on the Sabbath, but still 
to have such as are aj3propriate to the day. 



THE SABBATH. 101 

When you rise in tlie morning, you might 
spend a little longer time than usual in read- 
ing the Bible, and private devotion. You 
should attend Sabbath school, either as a 
scholar or a teacher; and the preparation of 
the lesson will be a suitable employment for 
Sunday morning. The exercises of the Sun- 
day school will, I trust, interest you. In the 
interval before sermon, read a few verses in 
your Bible or Hymn-Book, to prepare your 
mind for listening to the discourse. 

Join with the congregation in singing, and 
be attentive to the prayer. Whether you kneel 
or stand in prayer, let your eyes be closed, 
lest your attention may be diverted by what 
you see. Pay close attention to the sermon, 
and remember the text and divisions of the 
subject. The preacher is the embassador of 
Christ, and he has a message from God to 
you, on which the salvation of your soul may 
depend. Therefore, lose not a word, but pray 
that the Spirit of God may send it home to 
your conscience, and make it a blessing to 
your soul. 

Some ladies sleep till a late hour on Sab- 
bath morning, and then spend a long time at 
the toilet. While in church, they are either 



102 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

thinking of their own personal appearance, or 
noticing the dress of others, but the sermon is 
not heard. Some attention to dress is, of 
course, indispensable. Every person who goes 
to church should be neat and clean. But 
when the toilet is once arranged, the subject 
should be dismissed from the thoughts. If 
your parents have bought you costly dresses 
or jewelry, the house of God is not the place 
to display them. A plain, neat dress, is much 
more appropriate, when engaged in 'Divine 
worship. While your fellow-beings may be 
admiring your dress, an all-seeing Eye may 
discover much impurity in your heart. It be- 
comes us to go to church, not with feelings 
of vanity or pride, but of humility and prayer. 
It is the house of God, and the gate of 
heaven, and we should be solemn and de- 
vout. 

After church, we should meditate on what 
we have heard, or talk it over with our friends ; 
not to criticise and find fault, but to impress 
the subject more deeply on our hearts. How 
little do those appreciate the Gospel, who can 
find subjects for ridicule and amusement in the 
sermons they hear ! Preachers, like all other 
men, have their infirmities and defects. They 



THE SABBATH. 103 

have the treasure of the Gospel in '^ earthen 
vessels." But since they come to us as the 
messengers of God, we should respect them 
for the sake of their office, overlook their im- 
perfections, and endeavor to be profited by the 
Gospel which they proclaim. 

It is very common to pay visits on the after- 
noon of the Sabbath, or to walk or ride out 
for recreation. Such things are hardly con- 
sistent with the sanctity of the day. Im- 
proper subjects of conversation are apt to be 
introduced, and devotional feelings are in- 
jured. I advise all the young ladies to whom 
these letters are addressed to take no w^alks or 
rides on Sunday, except to go to church. If 
more exercise than this is needed for health, 
walk about your own house or lot, but not in 
the streets, or public ways. Avoid the ap- 
pearance of evil. 

You may have a sufficient variety of read- 
ing to fill up the day agreeably and profitably : 
the Bible, the Sunday school lesson, the his- 
tory of the Church, or of the Reformation, the 
works of Baxter or Doddridge, "Abbott's 
Young Christian," the biography of eminent 
Christians, the sermons of Wesley or Watson, 
Chalmers or Hall. If this is not enough, your 



104 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

Sunday school library will afford almost an 
endless variety. Different courses of reading 
may be carried on at the same time, and con- 
tinued from Sabbath to Sabbath. You might 
read Church history one part of the day, and 
religious biography and periodicals another. 
This would prevent fatigue. The great mat- 
ter is, always to have something on hand 
which you can take up when you have a spare 
moment. When you once get accustomed to 
reading, and interested in religious subjects, 
you will find the day too short to read all that 
you desire. 

And while you read, and pray, and sing, 
the hours of the Sabbath will glide delight- 
fully away, and your hearts will be strength- 
ened for the service of God. 

*' How sweet a Sabbath thus to spend, 
In hope of one that ne'er shall end !" 

What a delightful world should we have, if 
the Sabbath were universally kept holy ! If 
there is joy in heaven over one sinner that re- 
penteth, how would angels rejoice to see the 
whole population of cities, villages, and coun- 
try, engaged in the worship of God and sing- 
ing anthems of praise ! 

How lamentable would be the results, if the 



THE SABBATH. 105 

Sabbath were universally desecrated ! If it 
were a day of vicious pursuits and indulgen- 
ces, men would soon become like fiends in 
degradation and crime. The blessed Gospel 
would be disregarded, and men would live and 
die without God and without hope. Most of 
the criminals who go to the penitentiary, or die 
on the gallows, acknowledge that they com- 
menced their downward course by the violation 
of the Sabbath. It is a sin which opens the 
floodgates for all others. 

Happy shall I be, young ladies, if I can 
persuade you to *' remember the Sabbath day, 
to keep it holy.'* Begin now, in your youth, 
and let it become the habit of your lives ; and 
it will be to you a matter of rejoicing in eter- 
nity. 



106 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 



LETTER IX. 

EIGHTH COMMANDMENT. 

The eighth commandment says: ''Thou 
shalt not steal." It is a rare occurrence, I 
trust, that young ladies violate this command- 
ment; but since it is jDossible, and since the 
crime is more shocking on account of the usual 
uprightness of the sex, it may not be out of 
place to give you a short letter on the sub- 
ject. 

To steal, is to take for our own use that 
which belongs to another, without the consent 
of the owner. Mr. Boyd, to whom I am 
largely indebted for the remarks I am about 
to make, mentions seventeen kinds of theft. 
We will only mention such as are applicable 
to school girls. 

I. Domestic theft is committed when chil- 
dren secretly take what belongs to their par- 
ents, without their consent. Children, per- 
haps, sometimes do this without thinking it 



EIGHTH COMMANDMENT. 107 

wrong. But if it is not wrong, why do they 
wish to conceal it? To take cakes, or fruit, 
or money, even at home, without the consent 
of the parents, is certainly stealing. Those 
who do such things at home, will be very apt, 
afterward, to tak« what belongs to other peo- 
ple, and become common thieves. 

2. Theft of concealment, is where one finds 
the property of another, and makes use of it 
without endeavoring to find the owner. A 
traveler, in passing the road, might drop his 
pocket-book, containing a thousand dollars. 
If I should find it, and make use of the 
money, without endeavoring to ascertain who 
had lost it, I would be a thief. If you find a 
knife, or a pencil, or any thing else belonging 
to another, try to find out the owner, or you 
might as well steal it. If you first conceal 
what you find, you will afterward take what 
is not lost. 

3. Theft of trade is committed when one 
person takes the advantage of another in buy- 
ing or selling any kind of property. If a 
merchant should sell damaged goods for more 
than they were worth, by concealing the de- 
fect, he would be dishonest. On the other 
hand, if we abuse, or underrate any thing 



108 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

we ■wish to buy, so as to get it for less than it 
is worth, we are dishonest. 

Some ladies are in the habit of Jewing the 
merchants, and endeavoring to get every- 
thing for less than they ask. This is certainly 
wrong. We should be willing to give the fair 
market price for every thing we buy. If we 
think a merchant asks more for his goods than 
they are worth, we should not deal with him. 
If we believe him to be honest, let us pay the 
regular price, without murmuring. To boast 
of getting a great bargain, is to acknowledge 
that we have stolen something from our neigh- 
bor. This will not apply, however, to things 
sold at auction; for if we are the highest bid- 
der, we give the market price, though it may 
be cheap. 

4. Theft may also be committed by borrow- 
ing things and not retuniing them, or by in- 
juring them before they are returned. Some 
school girls will borrow articles of dress, and 
wear them out, or greatly injure them, with- 
out considering that they might as well steal 
them. It is also wrong to keep borrowed ar- 
ticles an unreasonable length of time. The 
owner may need them, and you will defraud 
him. How many valuable books have been lost 



EIGHTH COMMANDMENT. 109 

to the owner, by being loaned to careless per- 
sons, who never return them! Do you think 
this is honest? 

5. Thefts of mischief must not be forgot- 
ten. How often are colleges, seminaries, 
churches, and other public buildings, injured 
by thoughtless children ! They do not dream 
that they are acting dishonestly, but they 
should remember that it costs money to repair 
such injuries, and they might as well steal that 
amount, as to injure the property. I wish 
that bad boys who destroy signs and awnings 
for sport, could be made to understand that 
they ^dolate the eighth commandment, which 
says: "Thou shalt not steal." Children 
sometimes rob orchards and melon patches, 
seeming to think it an innocent amusement. 
The labor bestowed on the planting and culti- 
vation of an orchard, costs money. Every 
apple and peach has cost something, and, 
moreover, will sell for something. If, there- 
fore, you destroy them, or use them without 
the consent of the owner, you are guilty of 
theft. It is neither more nor less than steal- 
ing, and it is best to call things by their right 
names. It does not require the taking of a 
large amount to constitute theft. He who 



110 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

secretly puts liis hand into my pocket, and 
takes out five dollars, is a thief; but if he 
takes only five cents, he is also a thief. And 
where is the difference between steahng money 
and that which has cost money, or will sell for 
money ? 

I would rather have several dollars stolen 
from me, than to have a bushel, or even a 
peck, of choice fruit destroyed. When one 
has taken great pains to cultivate particular 
varieties of fruit, he attaches to such fruit a 
much higher value than the mere market 
price ; and he has, surely, a right to enjoy the 
result of his labor. He that robs an orchard, 
deprives the owner of such enjoyment ; and 
he can be nothing else than a thief, however 
he may laugh about it as sport. The only 
proper rule is, never to take melons, or fruit 
of any description, without the consent of the 
owner. If you pass an orchard, when travel- 
ing, and fruit appears ever so abundant, ask 
permission before you touch it, and then you 
may enjoy it with a good conscience. If you 
enter without permission, you will be in con- 
stant dread lest the owner should come, which 
shows that, in your own opinion, you are doing 
wrong. These remarks are intended quite as 



EIGHTH COMMANDMENT. 111. 

much for tlie boys as the girls, for I presume 
they are more apt to transgress, in these par- 
ticulars, than their sisters. 

To be perfectly honest, even in the smallest 
matter, is surely to be expected of every 
young lady. If you slily take a sheet of pa- 
per, or a pen, which belongs to another, you 
feel in your own conscience that you have 
done wrong. Though no one else may find it 
out, it will make you uneasy and unhappy. 
When you see other girls talking together, 
you will fear that they know it, and are talk- 
ing about you. The constant dread of de- 
tection will be a constant source of misery. 
But if it seems not to have been found out, 
and every thing passes on smoothly, you soon 
forget it. Another temptation, at some time, 
presents itself. You have an opportunity to 
take a knife or a pencil, or, perhaps, a piece 
of money, when you suppose it will not be 
discovered. If you had not commenced with 
the smaller theft, you would not think of 
yielding to this. But having made a com- 
mencement in crime, your conscience is some- 
what hardened, and you take another step in 
the downward course. The dread of ex- 
posure gradually passes off, and you soon form 



112 LETTEKS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

the liabit of taking whatever comes in your 
way. At last, you are detected and dis- 
graced. 0, how must a father's and a moth- 
er's heai't mourn when they have a daughter 
guilty of such things! They would rather 
follow them to the grave than to have them 
thus degraded and polluted. Girls whose 
friends are" of the highest respectability, have 
sometimes been guilty of such things. 

Let it not, then, be deemed out of place, 
young ladies, that I warn you to beware of 
the slightest approximation to this sin. Never 
take the smallest thing belonging to another 
without the consent of the owner. Never 
take sugar or sweetmeats at home, without 
the consent of your parents. When intrusted 
with money, use it exactly as directed by your 
parents. Form habits of strict honesty while 
young, and you will afterward be in no dan- 
ger of falling into this sin. 

If you have ever been guilty of little acts 
of pilfering, pause now, and retrace your 
steps. You are on the verge of an awful 
precipice, but you may yet retreat. Firmly 
resist every temptation, and be honest the rest 
of your life. If you know any one who has 
been guilty of such acts, but who is now en- 



EIGHTH COMMANDMENT. 113 

deavoring to reform, throw no impediment in 
their way, by letting them know that you are 
aware of the fact. Many children, no doubt, 
are guilty of thefts before they are old enough 
to understand the enormity of the crime. 
They afterward reformed, and are perfectly 
honest. 

There is only one other species of theft 
which we shall mention at this time — theft of 
gambling. There are only two ways in which 
we can honestly obtain the money or property 
of others : they may give it to us, or we may 
pay them a fair equivalent for it. To get it 
in any other way, would be to steal it. But 
when one person wins money from another by 
gambling, the loser does not make a present 
of it, nor does the winner give an equivalent 
for it. He must, therefore, steal it. He 
seems, it is true, to have the consent of the 
owner; but, at the beginning of the game, it 
was not the intention of the owner to lose his 
money. He thought he had more skill than 
the other, and would certainly win. He found 
himself mistaken; his opponent was more 
skillful in playing, or more adroit in cheating. 
He lost his money, and is distressed on account 
of it. Surely, he who won it is a robber. To 
8 • 



114 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

win money by a bet of any kind, can be 
nothing more or less than stealing. And, 
moreover, we have no right to hazard our 
money in gambling. The money is not ours ; 
God has lent it to us for useful purposes, and 
we are accountable to him for the use we 
make of it. 

How many young men are ruined by gam- 
bling! They first play for amusement, and 
then for small sums of money. Partial suc- 
cess encourages them to greater risks, till 
they fall into the hands of experienced gam- 
blers, and all is lost! Even men who have 
wives and children depending on them for 
support, sometimes reduce their families to 
poverty by gambling. It is as unfortunate for 
a young lady to marry a gambler, as a drunk- 
ard. Poverty, and tears, and a broken heart, 
will, perhaps, be the result in either case. 

All such games as cards, billiards, dice, 
etc., are gambling; all betting on uncertain 
things is gambling. To bet on a horse-race, 
or an election, is as much gambling as to bet 
on a game of cards. If we win, we get what 
belongs to another without paying for it, which 
is not honest. 

I introduce this subject in a letter to young 



EIGHTH COMMANDMENT. 115 

ladies, because I want to warn them against 
playing cards for amusement. It is, to say 
tlie least, a dangerous amusement. You will 
become fond of it, and waste mucb precious 
time, and, perhaps, at last indulge in betting. 
A young gentleman plays with you because 
he is fond of your society. He afterward 
plays with his companions for money. The 
habit is gradually formed, and he at last be- 
comes a confirmed gambler, and is ruined. 
He is ruined, whether he wins or loses. If 
he loses, he throws away the money which 
his Maker gave him for better purposes; if 
he wins, he robs his neighbor, which is still 
more to be deplored. It will be no very pleas- 
ant reflection to you, to know that you assisted 
to ruin him. I am pained to see young ladies, 
or young men, either, amusing themselves at 
such games as chess, backgammon, or any 
thing of the kind. Where such games are 
the common amusements of the family, the 
young men of that family are very apt to be- 
come gamblers. 

Encourage your brothers and young associ- 
ates to reading and conversation, as better 
amusements than any such games. Lead them 
up the path of virtue, not down the road to 



116 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

perdition. I am always shocked when I see 
ladies engaged in any practice which may have 
a bad tendency. They little know what a 
powerful influence they exert over the other 
sex, and what wide-spread desolation and ruin 
may follow from what they consider an inno- 
cent amusement. 



DANCINa. 117 



LETTER X. 

DANCING. 

You think those Christians unreasonably 
rigid, who object to dancing, and similar 
amusements. "What harm can there be,*' 
you say, *'in shuffling about a floor, or keep- 
ing time with music ?" So the drunkard says, 
**What harm can there be in tasting a little 
brandy?" In the simple act itself, there may 
be no harm ; and yet, when often repeated, it 
may lead to the worst of consequences. Un- 
less you are a Christian, perhaps you are not 
fully qualified to judge of this matter. Many 
persons disbelieve the present system of as- 
tronomy, because it contradicts their senses. 
They insist that the earth stands still, and the 
sun and stars revolve around it. These per- 
sons, you admit, lack the information neces- 
sary for a proper determination of the subject ; 
and may it not be so with dancing? may it 
not exert some influence unfriendly to religious 
enjoyments, which none but a Christian can 



118 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

estimate? and may it not be wise in lis to 
receive their testimony, and avoid what may 
injure us ? 

But you say, "Dancing is a healthful exer- 
cise, an innocent amusement ; how can it be 
wrong?" Do you not believe many things 
which you do not fully understand? You 
believe that the earth is about ninety -five mill- 
ions of miles from the sun; but do you un- 
derstand the reasoning by which this is es- 
tablished? have you made the calculations 
of the distances, and magnitudes of the 
heavenly bodies? You believe the facts of 
astronomy, you say, because persons assert 
those facts who are qualified to make the cal- 
culations, and who have no motive for deceiv- 
ing you. And will not the same reasoning 
convince you that there may be something 
wrong in dancing ? Persons who are qualified 
to judge, and who have no motive for deceiv- 
ing you, condemn the practice. Dancing is 
condemned by nearly all the Christians of the 
different denominations in this country. The 
Presbyterians, Baptists, and Methodists, agree 
in their testimony. The Episcopalians, too, 
are of the same opinion ; at least, the Episco- 
pal clergymen with whom I am acquainted 



DANCING. 119 

decidedly condemn it. The Rev. Mr. Brook, 
of Cincinnati, not long since delivered some 
able discourses on the subject. I believe, 
also, that many members of that Church do 
not dance, nor approve of dancing. 

You insist, however, that you know some 
members of these different Churches who say 
they can see no harm in dancing. I admit 
there are such, but they form a very small 
portion of the Christian Church. I dislike to 
say any thing about any professor of religion 
which seems uncharitable, but I fear that those 
Christians who dance, or who approve of 
dancing, are not eminent for their piety. You 
will find this, and similar amusements, con- 
demned by the most zealous and warm-hearted 
Christians of all denominations. There must 
be something wrong in that which is generally 
condemned by those best qualified to judge. 

Not satisfied yet? ''No, I have personal 
friends who dance, and whose piety I can not 
question." Let us examine the matter a little 
more closely. Do you think those who dance, 
as religious as those vdio abstain from it on 
account of conscientious scruples? Would 
you have as much confidence, for instance, in 
the piety of a minister of the Gospel, who 



120 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

loved to dance, as one who never danced? 
"0, I admit preachers should not dance; it 
would not look well in them." Why not, if 
there be no harm in it? A preacher may do 
any thing in which there is no harm, as well 
as any other person. In admitting that a 
preacher should not dance, you admit that, in 
your own opinion, there is something wrong in 
dancing. 

Some young ladies were once conversing in 
my presence about their dancing-master. I 
inquired to what Church he belonged. They 
were greatly surprised that I should suppose 
a dancing-master belonged to any Church. 
But why not ? If dancing be right, why may 
not a teacher of dancing be a Christian, as 
well as a teacher of languages or mathe- 
matics ? But when you admit that a preacher 
should not dance, and a dancing-master should 
not belong to the Church, are you not yielding 
the point that there is something wrong in 
dancing ? 

Let us suppose that you were about to die : 
you say, ** O, that I had some Christian friend 
who would converse with me, and tell me what 
I must do to be prepared to meet my God." 
We will suppose you are acquainted with two 



DANCING. 121 

young ladies, one remarkable for her deep and 
ardent piety, and for her aversion to dancing, 
and similar amusements ; the other a member 
of the Church, but fond of such amusements. 
If you were standing on the brink of eternity, 
for which of these young ladies would you 
send to pray for you, and assist you to make 
the preparation ? Ah ! I need not wait for an 
answer ; your own heart decides the question, 
and that decision is unfavorable to dancing. 

But you are still unwilling to give it up, for 
the Bible says, *' There is a time to dance." 
Solomon does say, ''There is a time to 
dance," but he says, also, ''There is a time to 
hate, and a time to kill." He means, I pre- 
sume, that there are times when men will hate 
and kill each other, and when they will dance, 
but he does not say it is right to do either. 
Christ says, "It must needs be that offenses 
will come, but woe to that man by whom the 
offense cometh." 

But you say that David danced, and Mi- 
riam, and the women of Israel, came out with 
dances and timbrels. The dancing of David 
was a part of religious worship. He danced 
before the Lord with all his might, and those 
who came out with dances and timbrels praised 



122 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

the Lord. This is, surely, not like modern 
dancing. To introduce the praises of the 
Lord at a ball or party would break it up; 
every one would feel the incongruity. David's 
dancing and praising the Lord was something 
for which his irreligious wife despised him. 
An irreligious lady would not be apt to de- 
spise her husband for joining the modern 
dance. I know nothing in modern times so 
much like what I suppose the dancing of 
David to have been, as the praising God and 
the shouting in a warm Methodist meeting — a 
kind of dancing which would by no means suit 
your argument. 

It is true, dancing is mentioned in the Bible 
which was not a part of religious worship. It 
is said, in the book of Job, that the children 
of the wicked dance. The daughter of Hero- 
dias danced before Herod, and pleased him so 
well that he promised to give her whatever she 
would ask. You remember the result. She 
brought in the head of that innocent and holy 
man, John the Baptist, and presented it, all 
dripping with blood, and ghastly in death, to 
her cruel mother. I presume you will not 
wish to use this case to show that dancing is 
right. 



DANCING. 123 

It is not the mere act of skipping about in 
measured time which is objected to. The re- 
sults of balls and dancing parties are de- 
plorably bad. The great excitement, late 
hours, unwholesome air, the exhaustion, and 
subsequent exposure to the cold air in unsuit- 
able dress; the colds, consumptions, and 
deaths that follow ; these are the results that 
cause the Christian world to rise up against 
dancing. 

It is found that those who dance at all, soon 
become excessively fond of it. As moderate 
drinking leads to intemperance, so occasional 
private dancing leads to the dissipation of the 
ball-room. The only safe rule in either case 
is total abstinence. Give it all up, if you 
would avoid the danger. Since dancing has 
sent so many bright and promising young 
ladies to a premature grave, can you not ab- 
stain from dancing? 

The injury of the health is not the only ob- 
jection. How do the spiritual interests of the 
soul suffer ! Such amusements are unfriendly 
to devotional feeling. A man may be too 
much devoted to his business, and neglect re- 
ligious duties. But this is not necessarily the 
case. He may attend to business and religion 



124 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

too. But dancing, and other fashionable 
amusements, are incompatible with religion. 
Those who are devoted to them are the friends 
of the world, and can not be the friends of 
Christ. She that loves to dance, will not love 
to pray. If she is a professor of religion, she 
will soon find that her religion is only a name, 
without comfort or enjoyment. 

Will you bow down to the gay idol of fash- 
ionable amusement, when Christ, crucified for 
you, says, ** Daughter, give me thy heart;" 
"If any man will be my disciple, let him deny 
himself, and take up his cross, and follow me?'* 
Will you turn away from Christ, thus kindly 
knocking at the door of your heart, and 
prefer the vain pomps and vanities of the 
world ? 

There is a constant warfare between the 
powers of darkness and the powers of light. 
Shall we make a truce with the enemy, and 
venture on forbidden ground, when we should 
gird on the armor for battle? When your 
parents propose to send you to dancing- 
school, can you not say, *'I fear it will ruin 
my soul; please excuse me?" When in- 
vited to a ball or party, where there is to be 



DANCING. 125 

dancing, can jou not deny yourself, for the 
sake of Christ, and remain at home? If 
present where dancing is unexpectedly intro- 
duced, can you not silently retire, though 
you should be ridiculed for doing so ? Is not 
the reproach of Christ greater riches than the 
approbation of the world? We read in 
Church history of young and timid females, 
who went willingly to the stake, and suffered 
their bodies to be burned, rather than deny 
Christ. And will you esteem it an unrea- 
sonable hardship to abstain from circuses, 
theaters, cards, and dancing,, that you may 
better advance the glory of the Redeemer? 
Paul said, ''I count all things but loss for 
the excellency of the knowledge of Christ 
Jesus, my Lord." And when he was about 
to die, he wrote to Timothy: **I have fought 
the good fight, I have kept the faith, I have 
finished my course, and henceforth there is a 
crown laid up for me." 

When you come to the dying hour, young 
ladies, you will not regret that you gave up 
dancing. To the gay votary of pleasure, 
the dying bed will be surrounded with hor- 
rible gloom ; but to the self-denying follower 



126 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

of Christ, there will be light and comfort in 
that terrible hour. May the Lord enable you 
to see the path of duty, and resolutely to fol- 
low the dictates of conscience ! 



HEALTH. 127 



LETTEE XI. 

HEALTH. 

I WOULD like to say a few things about the 
preservation of your health, if it is not utterly 
useless to talk to school girls on such a sub- 
ject. You have acted imprudently a hun- 
dred times, and are not dead; yet therefore, 
you think there is no use in taking any care — 
nothing will hurt you. But, since young girls 
do sometimes die, will it not be well enough 
to inquire whether imprudent actions may not 
sometimes cause death? 

If the lungs were made for breathing, may 
we not suppose that they should be well filled 
with fresh, pure air? Would not any mode 
of dress, or posture of sitting, which prevented 
free breathing, be injurious to health? The 
days of tight lacing, I trust, are past; but 
still, girls are occasionally met with silly 
enough to compress their waists, till they can 
hardly breathe. Such girls as unquestionably 



128 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

shorten their lives, as the drunkard does. 
They will have a fearful account to render when 
they come to stand before the great Judge. 

If you double yourself up by stooping over 
your books, you can not fill your lungs with 
air. Sit erect, and walk erect ; then you can 
breathe properly. The effort to hold up the 
shoulders may fatigue you at first, but you 
will soon become accustomed to it. Youno- 
children are generally straight, and so are the 
wild Indians; but school girls are apt to 
stoop. It not only spoils your beauty, but 
injures your health, and you will be apt to 
stoop down into the grave. 

Curvature of the spine should also be 
guarded against while you are at school. If 
you lean forward with one elbow supported, 
one shoulder will be more elevated than the 
other, and the spine curved. If this is often 
repeated, the curvature may become perma- 
nent, and deformity and death may be the 
consequence. You should take plenty of ex- 
ercise, to strengthen the muscles of your wliolo 
frame, and then you will not wish to thro\^ 
yourself into such improper postures. You 
are fatigued supporting your own weight, be 
cause you have not taken exercise enough. 



HEALTH. 129 

Girls that are good students, are apt to take 
too little exercise at school, though they need 
more than any others. You should take exer- 
cise in the open air long enough and briskly 
enough to circulate your blood well, and, if 
possible, to produce perspiration. Moping 
along with a book in your hand, will do no 
good. It should not be called exercise. If 
you will laugh and play for an hour or two 
every day, so as to enjoy it, when you return 
to your books you can study to some purpose. 
You will be strong enough to sit erect, with- 
out fatigue, and your whole health will be im- 
proved. 

I presume it is not necessary to explain how 
fresh air and exercise will benefit you. I 
trust you study physiology, where you will find 
full explanations. I might, indeed, omit the 
subject of health entirely, but I have so often 
seen girls injure their health at school, I 
thought a few cautions could do no harm. 

It is, of course, expected that a lady will be 
cleanly. You should not only keep your 
hands and face clean, but you should practice 
frequent bathing of the whole person. The 
insensible perspiration is continually producing 
an impure coating on the surface, which 

9 



130 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

should be frequently washed off. No one 
should bathe less than once a week. If you 
can bathe three or four times, or even every 
day, it will be better. If you can use cold 
water without injury, you will find it exceed- 
ingly refreshing and invigorating. The very 
sensation of cleanliness is delightful. A cold 
bath in the morning improves the appetite, 
exhilarates the spirits, clears the head, and 
doubles the enjoyment of life. Continue it 
through the winter, and you will be much less 
liable to take cold, and will suffer less from the 
severe weather; the blood will circulate more 
freely to the surface, and keep you warm. 

Whenever you are warm enough to produce 
perspiration, you must be careful not to check 
the perspiration too suddenly. Do not sit 
down, at such a time, in a current of air, nor 
drink too freely of cold water. Many lives 
are lost every year by the violation or neglect 
of these cautions. You may, in a very few 
moments, contract a cold which will take you 
to your grave. Do not throw off any part of 
your clothing, but be content to bear the heat 
a little, that you may cool gradually and 
safely. 

Keep your feet warm and dry. If you sit 



HEALTH. 131 

in church, or the school-room, with wet or 
damp feet, they will soon become cold; the 
blood will cease to circulate in them as freely 
as it should ; an undue quantity of blood will 
be thrown on the internal organs, and produce 
disease. Some girls, when they have a book 
that interests them, will sit up late at night, 
with little or no fire, and go to bed with cold 
feet. This will soon injure your health. Go 
to the fire, or rub your feet, and get them 
warm before you retire. Never go to bed with 
cold feet. 

Is it worth while to say any thing to chil- 
dren about eating ? Will they not eat what- 
ever they wish, and as much as they please, 
whether it makes them sick or not? After 
they have been made sick a number of times 
by improper indulgences, perhaps they will 
learn by experience to be careful. They can 
not be persuaded that any thing will hurt 
them, till it does actually hurt them. And 
even when children g^et sick and die, the cause 
of the sickness is not always known. Per- 
haps the little girl that was buried the other 
day, was made sick by eating, secretly, the 
green apples or green cherries which her 
mother told her not to eat. Sickness is very 



132 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

often brought on by overloading the stomach 
with gingercakes or nuts. Rich and greasy- 
articles of food should be eaten moderately, 
if at all. Nuts and sweetmeats should not be 
eaten late at night; for when the stomach is 
fatigued with the labors of the day, it can not 
digest such things. Supper should always be 
light, and early, and nothing should ever be 
eaten after supper. 

" Let your supper be light, 
If you'd sleep well at night." 

You should, at all times, abstain from such 
articles of food as you find to disagree. And 
if they are generally esteemed imwholesome, 
you should indulge very moderately, even if 
they agree with you, for the powers of the 
stomach may be gradually impaired, and long- 
years of dyspepsia will be a severe retribution 
for present indulgence. The drunkard took 
many glasses of brandy before he felt any in- 
jury from it; but at last it broke down his 
constitution. 

When you come to be a housekeeper, and 
invite your friends to visit you, do not give 
them unwholesome food — especially do not 
ofifer them raisins, nuts, and cake, late at 
night. A few mellow apples, and a glass of 



HEALTH. 133 

lemonade, are as much as should be in lulged 
in at an evening party. Then those who go 
to parties merely to gormandize, would stay 
at home, and you would have such as desired 
to enjoy **the feast of reason and the flow of 
soul." 

May I add a word or two about early 
rising? It will make about as much impres- 
sion on you as the remarks on eating. 

" Early to bed, and early to rise, 
Makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise," 

said Dr. Franklin. But do you believe it? 
Ask your grandmother, or any other very old 
lady, and she will tell you that she has been 
an early riser. It is indeed said, that no one 
lives to be old who does not rise early. How 
delightful to breathe the fresh air of the 
morning, and hear the birds sing ! 'No won- 
der that those who rise early, should live 
longer than those who lie late in bed. 

Seriously, the care of your health is an im- 
portant matter. Health is the greatest bless- 
ing which God bestows in this world. With- 
out it no other blessing can be enjoyed. 
Read some work on physiology, and study 
the laws of health, and obey them. Fresh 
air and exercise, cleanliness and temper- 



134 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

ance, are very significant words. When 
tempted to indiscretions, think you hear the 
voice of God saying to you, as St. Paul said 
to the jailer, ''Do thyself no harm." 



TEMPERANCE. 135 



LETTER XII. 

TEMPERANCE. 

The great temperance reform is one in 
which, I trust, yon all feel a deep interest. 
Twenty years ago the cause encountered much 
opposition and persecution. People supposed 
they would be ruined if they could not have 
the privilege of drinking ardent spirits. In 
cold and warm weather, in health and sick- 
ness, at home and abroad, at all social parties 
and gatherings, some kind of intoxicating 
drink was supposed to be necessary. They 
were considered as indispensable as bread and 
meat, and visitors were not thought to be 
treated politely, unless something to drink was 
offered to them. So convinced were thou- 
sands of persons that some evil was intended 
by the temperance reform, that they consid- 
ered themselves insulted when invited to join 
a temperance society. 

I am thankful that this state of things has 



136 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

passed away. Hundreds, and thousands, and 
millions, have been convinced that the great 
cause is a good one. The reform has spread 
over the United States, and other parts of 
North America; it has extended to different 
European nations, and none, perhaps, has been 
more blessed by its influence than oppressed 
Ireland. It has been a blessing to all classes, 
in almost all countries. The soldier and the 
sailor have felt its influence. Drunkards have 
been reformed,- and the tears of widows and 
orphans have been dried. 

Surely all benevolent hearts will -wish suc- 
cess to such a cause. But strange as it may 
seem, many individuals are still indifferent to 
its advancement, and others are decidedly hos- 
tile to its movements. As young ladies should 
be enlisted in every good cause, I desire at 
this time to off'er a few reasons why they 
should actively co-operate with the temperance 
reformation. 

It is found that human beings can exert a 
greater influence on any subject, by combining 
their influence, than by acting separately. If 
a railroad is to be made, men unite their capi- 
tal, and accomplish that which no one alone 
could do. If war is proclaimed, individuals 



TEMPERANCE. 137 

do not think of going out separately to figlit, 
but tliey are formed into companies and 
armies, to march against the enemy. The 
united force of many can accompHsh wonders, 
when the individuals separately could have 
accomplished nothing. Thus, to carry on the 
cause of missions and Sunday schools, and 
translate and circulate the Bible, societies are 
formed, and the united influence of members 
gives efficiency to the work. 

This is what has been done in the great 
temperance cause ; and all who wish it success 
should give it their names and their influence. 
If you properly understand the evils of in- 
temperance, and the importance of reform, 
you can not possibly feel indiff'erent about the 
matter. If none of your own relatives are 
drunkards, still there are thousands of drunk- 
ards in the land, many of them of the most 
respectable connections. They may have 
mothers, and wives, and sisters, and daugh- 
ters, who are afflicted by their intemperance. 
Think of the anguish that must rend the 
hearts of parents, when, having bestowed the 
greatest care and expense on the education of 
a son, and looked to him as the support of 
their old age, they find that he has become a 



138 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

drunkard. Think of the hopeless despair and 
wretchedness of a wife, who discovers that the 
man whom she loves above all others, and 
who had promised at the marriage altar to 
love and protect her through life, is becoming 
too fond of intoxicating drinks ! His breath 
betrays him ; his bloated appearance gives 
evidence ; his crossness and petulance sink hke 
lead into her heart. At last he comes stag- 
gering, reeling home, and falls down in her 
presence in beastly drunkenness. 

Ah ! here is a sight to make the heart ache. 
The fair prospects and bright visions of hap- 
piness that dawned on the morning of her life, 
are beclouded. The chilhng winds of ad- 
versity and sorrow are beginning to blow. 
She seeks a solitary place to give vent to her 
feelings in a flood of tears. Ah! yes; and 
those tears are not soon to be dried! They 
will flow on for months and years, while she 
sees her property wasted, and her children 
impoverished, and feels her heart broken. 
Can you look upon her tears, and feel no sym- 
pathy for her? But it is vain to attempt to 
describe the evils of intemperance. When all 
the powers of language have been exhausted, 
the half has not been told. The poor man 



TEMPERANCE. 139 

himself is to be pitied. His wife demands 
our sympathy. If he has a mother, or sister, 
or daughter, who can describe the shame, and 
mortification, and sorrow they must all feel? 
But who are the men that become drunk- 
ards ? Are they only the worthless and vile ? 
Far from it. Men of the fairest standing, and 
of kind and generous hearts, are as often the 
victims of intemperance as any others. They 
meet with wine and brandy at parties and 
weddings ; they drink with their friends, with- 
out suspecting the probability of danger; but 
this occasional tasting after a while produces 
a fondness for such drinks. Their spirits are 
exhilarated, conversation flows on cheerfully, 
and they drink on till the appetite is formed, 
and their thirst becomes insatiable. JSTo doubt 
they form many resolutions of amendment, and 
are often overwhelmed with shame and re- 
morse that they are not able to keep their res- 
olutions. The appetite for drink cries, " Give, 
give," and is never satisfied. Like the poor 
mariner drawn into the current of the whirl- 
pool on the coast of Norway, the drunkard 
perceives his danger when it is too late. He 
sees the gulf of destruction yawning before 
him, and yet rushes into it. If he had heeded 



140 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

the voice of the temperance society, he might 
have escaped; but he believed there was no 
danger, and continued to tamper with intoxi- 
cating drinks, beheving that he could escape 
at any moment ; but when the whirlpool be- 
gan to roar in his ears, his power of resistance 
was gone. 

The only safety, on the subject of temper- 
ance, is total abstinence from all that can in- 
toxicate. No one is safe who drinks only 
occasionally. He may pass along for years 
without becoming a drunkard ; but in an evil 
hour his strength will fail him, and he will be 
ruined forever. And why should any one ob- 
ject to abstaining from these drinks ? Is he 
fond of them ? Ah ! there is the more need 
of abstaining, for that very fondness shows 
his danger. The whirlpool is beginning to 
draw him in, and if he does not hoist sail, 
ply the oar, and make his escape, he will be 
ruined. If he has no fondness for such drinks, 
he should at once cease to use them, and set a 
good and safe example for others. 

But why do we insist on young ladies join- 
ing a temperance society ? Is there any dan- 
ger that they will become drunkards ? I trust 
not. The whole world Avould frown with such 



TEMPERANCE. 141 

indignation on a drunken female, that few, in- 
deed, will venture to incur that frown. What 
a glorious triumph would the temperance cause 
immediately achieve, if drunkenness was as 
disgraceful in man as in woman ! But shame- 
ful as it is for a lady to drink, it does some- 
times happen. Little girls sometimes slip into 
their mother's side -boards, and drink the cor- 
dials and wines. By tasting alcoholic drinks, 
they acquire the same depraved appetite as 
men. Married ladies have been known to 
have to go to bed to hide the shame of drunk- 
enness. The girl who loves wine or brandy, 
should, therefore, refrain at once and for- 
ever. 

But even if there is no danger to yourself, 
your drinking may do harm to others. The 
example you set will be imitated. You take 
your glass at a wedding or a party, and oth- 
ers suppose that what a young lady does, 
must surely be harmless. But while they im- 
itate your example, they may go on to ruin. 
Young ladies, moreover, frequently offer these 
drinks to their male acquaintances. They are 
carefully prepared in many tempting forms, 
and then offered in the social circle by a 
lady's hand. Who could resist the temptation, 



142 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

or suppose for a moment that any danger was 
lurking there ? 

You esteem it a lio^lit affair to toss off a 
glass of wine, or offer it to your friends. But 
perhaps your own brother may be contracting 
a fondness for such drinks, and the very glass 
he drinks with you may fix his fate as a 
drunkard. How melancholy to reflect, in after 
years, that you had been the means of ruining 
your brother! Perhaps some yoimg man, 
finding that he had gone too far in such in- 
dulgences, is endeavoring to reform; but at 
your house he meets again with intoxicating 
drinks, and goes back to drunkenness and 
ruin. 

Where there is so much danger, it is best 
to beware. Who would carry fire into a 
magazine of powder? Who would drink 
wine, and other intoxicating beverages, and 
offer them to others, when tears, and ruin, and 
endless sorrow may be the consequence ? I 
trust that no young lady will. Having hearts 
to sympathize with the unfortunate sufferers, 
you should take a noble stand, and deny your- 
selves, that you may do good to others. 

But you say that Christ made wine at a 



TEMPERANCE. 143 

wedding, and St. Paul advised Timothy to use 
wine. It is true St. Paul did give that ad- 
vice, but it was on account of the ill-health of 
Timothy : *' Use a little wine for thy stomach's 
sake, and thine often infirmities." If you 
were sick, and a physician prescribed wine or 
brandy, it might be right to use them ; 
though even then they should be used cau- 
tiously. The wine that Christ made is sup- 
posed, by able theologians, to have been sweet, 
unfermented wine, and, therefore, not intoxi- 
cating. It is kiiown. that both wine and cider 
may be preserved without fermentation ; and 
then, as they contain no alcohol, they will 
make no one drunk. But nearly all the wines 
of our day contain not only the alcohol of 
fermentation, but a quantity superadded, to 
prevent souring. They are, therefore, very 
intoxicating. Cider, also, when fermented, 
contains a sufficient quantity of alcohol to pro- 
duce intoxication. It is best, therefore, to ab- 
stain fl-om them, and let our beverage be 
pure cold water. This is the most natural, 
most wholesome, most safe beverage for all 
persons, under all circumstances. St. Paul 
himself says, if the use of wine does harm. 



144 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

we should abstain: ''It is good neither to 
eat flesh nor to drink v/ine, nor any thing 
whereby thy brother is offended, or is stum- 
bled, or is made weak." Solomon says, 
"Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging; 
whoso is deceived thereby, is not wise." Isa- 
iah says, "Look not upon the wine when it is 
red, when it moveth itself aright in the cup ; 
for at the last it biteth like a serpent, and 
stingeth like an adder." 

You see, then, that the voice of Scripture 
is decidedly against the use of intoxicating 
wine. That the Scriptures should some- 
times approve, and sometimes condemn the 
use of wine, can only be accounted for by ad- 
mitting that different kinds of wines were in 
use ; some intoxicating, and some wholesome 
and useful, but not intoxicating. The use of 
intoxicating wine is always condemned ; and 
the voice of reason and humanity condemn 
them too. 

As we always expect to see young ladies 
engaged in every good and noble cause, I 
liope that all who read these lines will have 
their names enrolled on the records of some 
temperance society ; or, if no such society is 



TEMPERANCE. 145 

convenient, in your own conscience and heart 
take tlie following pledge, and nobly adhere 
to it till your dying day : 

*'I solemnly pledge myself to abstain from 
the use of all intoxicating drinks, as a bev- 
erage, and that I will not offer such drinks to 
others." 

10 



146 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 



LETTER XIII. 

MISSIONS. 

Whether you go to a public school or a 
seminary — whether the number of pupils be 
large or small — I hope you will organize 
among yourselves a ''Missionary Society." 
It is well to learn while you are young, to give 
something to do good to mankind. Those 
who give nothing while young, are apt to be 
stingy and illiberal as long as they live. Lib- 
erality is pleasant, and promotes happiness. 
I should think a stingy, niggardly soul, wrapt 
up in its own selfishness, could never be 
happy. God has so formed us, that to feed 
the hungry and relieve the distressed, will 
produce pleasurable emotions, in our own 
hearts. "It is more blessed," says Christ, 
"to give than to receive." 

The missionary cause has high claims on 
your benevolence. The whole scheme of 
Christianity is a missionary enterprise. Christ 
was a missionarv, sent to redeem the world. 



MISSIONS. 147 

The apostles were missionaries, sent to pro- 
claim the Gospel. When Christ gave their 
great commission, he said, "Go ye irito all 
the world, and preach the Gospel to every 
creature." How wonderful was the success 
of their mission ! Thousands were converted 
on the day of Pentecost, and thousands after- 
ward, till the glad tidings were published 
among Jews and Gentiles, in almost all lands. 
Heathen superstitions gave way, and heathen 
temples were deserted. Persecution, indeed, 
raged, and the powers of darkness were 
arrayed against the Church. Christians were 
beheaded, crucified, burned at the stake, with 
the most excruciating tortures ; but the ashes 
of the martyrs became the seed of the Church. 
So far from being exterminated by persecu- 
tion, the religion of Christ spread with greater 
power, till the Roman empire, then embracing 
most of the world, was leavened by its influ- 
ence. In three hundred years after the death 
of Christ, Constantine was converted, and 
Christianity became the established religion. 
But, alas! this heavenly light was obscured, 
and the darkness of ages enveloped the world. 
A bright star, it is true, still shone out occa- 
sionally, to mitigate .the darkness, for Christ 



148 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

had still a people on earth, and the gates of 
hell never prevailed against his Church. 

At last the Lutheran Reformation dawned 
upon the world. The missionary spirit has 
revived, and sheds its blessed influences on 
the nations. The heralds of the cross have 
gone into almost all lands, crying, ''Ho, every 
one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters." 
Thousands have already partaken of "the 
river whose streams make glad the city of 
God." 

But millions of the human family have not 
yet tasted the waters of life. What can we 
do to assist them? When we look over so 
large a field, and see how few the laborers, we 
can at least pray the Lord of the harvest to 
send forth more laborers into his harvest. If 
we have the true spirit of Christian benevo- 
lence, we can do something to help the labor- 
ers on their way. What did a few Galilean 
fishermen do in the first spread of the Gospel ? 
How did the members of the Church sell 
houses and lands, and lay the money at the 
apostles* feet ! All hands labored and prayed, 
and gave what they could, and the glorious 
work went on. How many useless expenses 
might we curtail, and throw the money into 



MISSIONS. 149 

tlie treasury of the Lord ! We forget that our 
money is not our own, but is lent to us by the 
Lord, to be used to his glory. If we are ac- 
countable for idle words, are we not much 
more accountable for money we spend amiss ? 
It is very proper to spend money for food and 
clothing, for the comforts and conveniences of 
life ; but to spend it for objects entirely use- 
less, or even hurtful to ourselves or others, is 
surely wrong. All the money spent for to- 
bacco and intoxicating drinks, is worse than 
wasted. And what the school girl spends for 
useless ornaments, or articles of dress, pur- 
chased for mere display, will also be found to 
have been wasted. When called to give an 
account of such money before the great Judge, 
we shall be speechless as the man who had 
not on a wedding garment. 

The miser who hoards his money, is making 
no better use of it than the prodigal who 
wastes his. Money should neither be hoarded 
nor wasted, but actively employed in doing 
good. Open thy hand wide, and give liber- 
ally to the poor, the destitute, the sick, the 
prisoner in his cell. And if the wants of the 
body must be supplied, how much more the 
necessities of the immortal soul ! If he that 



150 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

gives only a cup of cold water shall not lose 
his reward, how blessed shall he be that pre- 
sents the cup of salvation to the parched lips 
of the heathen ! 

The missionary is more in need of liberal 
contributions now than ever before. Many 
doors of access to the heathen are now opened, 
which had been closed for ages. China is now 
ripe for the harvest, but the laborers are few. 
It contains nearly one-half of the population 
of the globe, with only a handful of reapers. 
Africa is stretching out her hands unto God, 
and is anxious to receive missionaries. The 
gold of California is attracting immigrants 
from all the nations of the earth. If these 
can be converted, they will go back to their 
friends and declare, in all the languages of the 
earth, the wonderful works of God. From 
almost every land the Macedonian cry is heard, 
"Come over and help us." 

Many obstacles are in the way, but the word 
of prophecy gives assurance of success: "The 
heathen, and the uttermost parts of the earth 
shall be given to Christ for a possession." He 
who has preserved his Church for eighteen 
centuries, and not allowed the gates of hell 
to prevail against it, will carry on his 



MISSIONS. 161 

work till the millennial glory shall encompass 
the world. 

Shall we stand all the day idle, and take 
no part in this glorious work? Shall we be 
absorbed by trifles, when the world is to be 
converted? Shall we be seeking the empty 
breath of human admiration, when immortal 
souls may be plucked from ruin, and placed 
as stars in the crown of the Redeemer? 

0, if our hearts were properly alive to this 
subject, we would be ready not only to give 
our money, but to go ourselves, if Providence 
should open the way, and assist in bearing the 
glad tidings of salvation to the heathen. Har- 
riet Newell, Mrs. Judson, Mrs. White, and 
others who might be honorably named, have 
gone out as missionaries. Bidding adieu to 
home and friends, and severing all the tender 
ties that bound them to their native land, they 
went forth amid the habitations of cruelty, to 
tell the heathen of a Savior's love. Some 
have found graves m the deep, blue sea, and 
others are buried far away from friends and 
home. But they found the presence and bless- 
ing of God in. their dying hour, and theii* 
spirits have gone up to mingle with the gen- 
eral assembly, and Church of the First-Born, 



152 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

in heaven. They were once school girls in 
dififerent parts of the United States. Will not 
some that are now school girls take their 
places, and go out as missionaries? Should 
you go forth weeping, bearing precious seed, 
you would return again rejoicing, and bringing 
your sheaves with you. 

But whether you think of becoming a 
missionary or not, you can at least do some- 
thing to support those who are willing to go. 
Surrounded, as we are, with plenty and com- 
fort — with educational and religious advan- 
tages — 

" Shall we to men benighted 
The lamp of life deny?" 

Could you not retrench some of your ex- 
penses, and throw the money into the Lord's 
treasury? What happiness do you derive 
from wearing jewelry? The money expended 
by young ladies for gold rings, and other 
jewelry, would support quite an army of 
missionaries. You would be just as much 
respected and beloved without the jewelry as 
with it, and immortal souls might be rescued 
from the degradation of sin, and restored to 
the favor of God. 

Many school girls are foolishly extra va- 



MISSIONS. 163 

gant in dress. It is the result of bad taste, 
or misguided judgment. They suppose it 
adds to their respectabihty ; whereas, in the 
estimation of all sensible people, it detracts 
from if. How would it look to see a black- 
smith at his work dressed in fine broad- 
cloth? Yet, when the blacksmith goes to 
a public meeting, or to Church, he may 
wear broadcloth as appropriately as a mer- 
chant. 

School girls should be dressed plainly and 
neatly. If they wear very costly dresses, 
it should not be at school, nor while they 
are school girls. Can you not, then, per- 
suade your father to save a few dollars in. 
the price of a dress, and let you throw it 
into the missionary society ? When we deny 
ourselves to get money for the Lord, I 
think it will do more good than when we 
use no such self-denial. 

May our hearts be warmed with mission- 
ary fire, and may the Lord of the harvest 
send forth laborers, till the world shall be 
converted ! 

" Salvation, O salvation, 

The joyful sound proclaim, 
Till earth's remotest nation 
Has learned Messiah's name. 



164 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

Waft, waft, ye ■winds, his story. 
And you, ye waters, roll, 

Till, like a sea of glory. 
It spread from pole to pole." 



VULGARISMS. 155 



LETTEE XIV. 

VULGARISMS, 

It has been often remarked, that you may 
know the manner in which a person has been 
brought up, and the class of society to which 
he belongs, by his language. There are not 
only provincialisms, or words and expressions 
peculiar to different sections of the country, 
but in the same place you will hear words and 
phrases peculiar to the different classes of so- 
ciety. The use of such phrases is rather the 
misfortune than the fault of individuals, in 
many cases. Reared without opportunities of 
education, they, of course, adopt the dialect 
of their associates. They are often excellent 
persons, possessed of many good qualities, 
and, therefore, they should never be ridiculed 
by those who have had better opportunities. 
They often feel acutely the mortifications to 
which they are exposed. If they accumulate 
wealth, they are thrown into the society of 
those who have been better educated, and are 



166 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

often ridiculed on account of their awkward 
blunders. Such ridicule is wrong. Goldsmith 
says that "they are generally most ridiculous 
themselves who are apt to see most to ridicule 
in others." I am always pained when I hear 
or witness it. I believe I would as soon make 
the blunders, as to be so unfeeling as to laugh 
at one that did make them. Still, as the 
world will laugh, and it is exceedingly un- 
pleasant to be the subject of ridicule, it be- 
comes young ladies, while at school, to study 
the most appropriate words for conveying their 
ideas, and carefully to avoid all ungrammat- 
ical and vulgar expressions. 

I do not mean that you should be always 
straining after bombastical words. This is 
quite as ludicrous as low expressions. Your 
language may be plain and yet correct. I 
admire a plain style as much as I do a plain, 
neat dress. The simplest words in which a 
thought can be expressed, are always the best. 
But you would be just as well understood if 
you were to say learning, or ague, or neces- 
sity, as if you should say lamin, or ager, or 
needcessity. 

Such improprieties of pronunciation arise 
from defective education. But there are other 



VULGARISMS. 167 

words and phrases, sometimes circulating 
among school girls, which are equally im- 
proper; such as, ''I'll snum," *' Don't be so 
fresh," ''Lots of things," and many others 
which it is impossible to specify. Your own 
good taste should lead you to avoid such ex- 
pressions. You may use them for mere amuse- 
ment, till after awhile you will use them with- 
out being conscious of it. 

All obscene and immodest expressions, 
should be particularly avoided. They are to- 
tally inconsistent with the moral purity which 
should ever characterize a young lady. Do 
not associate with a girl that is vulgar and ob- 
scene in her conversation; you can not do 
so without contamination. The impure im- 
ages will recur to your imagination, and your 
purity of heart will be destroyed. 

But still worse than this, school girls some- 
times employ profane expressions, and make 
irreverent use of the name of God. In a 
word, they violate the third commandment, 
which says, *'Thou shait not take the name 
of the Lord thy God in vain." There are oc- 
casions when it is proper to use the sacred 
name, but the command forbids profane swear- 
ing, and all light and irreverent use of God's 



158 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

name. Expressions implying the name of 
God, may also be a violation of the command, 
even when the name is not directly used. 
Such expressions as, *'Upon my soul!" "I 
wish I may die !" ** Great goodness !" ** La's a 
mercy!" and others which we would shudder 
to name, are all irreverent and wrong. They 
are often used, I know, as thoughtless ex- 
clamations, but we should not be thoughtless 
about such important matters. 

There is no necessity for expressions either 
vulgar or profane. You can be just as well 
understood without them. People will believe 
your affirmation quite as readily as if you add 
an oath to it. It is shocking to think that a 
young girl would use a profane oath. But it 
does occasionally occur, that school girls are 
as profane in their language as rude and 
wicked boys. I have heard of schools in 
which almost every girl would swear. Some 
set the example, and others thoughtlessly imi- 
tate it, without thinking of the shocking im- 
piety. Let such girls remember that God will 
lot hold those guiltless who take his name in 
/ain. Gentlemen never swear in the presence 
of ladies, nor ladies in the presence of gentle- 
men. If all would remember that they are 



VULGARISMS. 169 

ever in the presence of the great God, would 
it not effectually check them ? 

You should not allow yourself to jest about 
serious things. Some persons will quote 
verses of hymns, and texts of Scripture, to 
produce a laugh, by the ludicrous application 
they make of them. This is wrong. Religious 
subjects, and religious persons and things, 
should always be treated with seriousness and 
respect. If he that swears by the temple 
swears by Him that dwells in the temple, 
surely those who trifle with religious subjects 
are trifling with that God who has taught us 
to be religious. 

When you go to church, let your whole de- 
portment be serious and respectful. All 
laughing, and talking, and merry jests, in the 
house of God, are out of place. How pro- 
fane to trifle in the presence of God! to go 
to his house, under the pretense of worshiping 
him, and insult him there ! God is ever pres- 
ent ; but when we attempt to worship him, he 
is peculiarly present for purposes of mercy and 
salvation. 

Whenever we are present at devotional ex- 
ercises — whether in the family, or the school- 
room, or the church — we should remember 



160 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

that we worship the great, eternal God, and 
dismiss all lightness. Let us reflect on the 
majesty and glory of God, and we shall be 
serious. 

God rides upon the whirlwind and directs 
the storm. He weighs the mountains in scales, 
and the hills in balances. He holds the ocean 
in his.hand, as a drop of the bucket. Neither 
the darkness of the night, nor the deep cav- 
erns of the earth, can conceal us from his 
scrutinizing eye. Should we take the wings 
of the morning, and fly to the remotest star 
that the telescope has discovered, we should 
still be in his presence, and within the grasp 
of his power. Such are his glory and majesty, 
that angels and archangels vail their faces be- 
fore him, and cry, "Holy, holy, holy, is the 
Lord God Almighty!" And shall we, poor, 
perishing worms of the dust, insult our 
Maker by taking his name in vain, or by 
treating his worship with irreverence and disre- 
spect? Rather let us reverence and adore 
him, and love him forever ! 



MARRIAGE. 161 



LETTER XV. 

MARRIAGE. 

While you are school girls, love, courtship, 
and marriage, are matters still in the future, 
and they should not occupy too much of your 
attention. But as school girls will sometimes 
think of these things, it may not be entirely 
out of place to make a few remarks about 
them. 

Every slight attachment formed by young* 
persons, should not be called love. There are 
various desfrees of aflection felt toward the 
persons with whom we associate ; but that at- 
tachment which should lead to marriage is of 
a peculiar kind. It is an esteem which arises 
from an intimate acquaintance, and from con- 
geniality of tastes and inclinations. It can 
not properly exist between strangers, or those 
who see each other for the first time, for they 
can not know each other's tempers and dispo- 
sitions. Persons who fall in love at first sight, 
and marry after a very short acquaintance, are 

u 



162 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

seldom happy afterward. They see only the 
pleasing part of each other's character; and 
when defects and failincjs show themselves 
after marriage, as they necessarily must, dis- 
appointment on both sides will be felt, and 
aversion will take the place of love. If they 
had become acquainted, and known each oth- 
er's defects, their expectations would not have 
been so high, and disappointment would not 
have had such a chilling effect on their 
hearts. 

All human beings have failings and imper- 
fections, and it is better to be apprised of them 
before marriage, than after. Those who hyp- 
ocritically conceal their defects till they can 
impose themselves on some one in marriage, 
are plunging a dagger into their own hearts. 
I would, therefore, advise you never to marry 
any one with whom you have not been ac- 
quainted at least a year or two. This will be 
time enough to become acquainted, and per- 
haps this will be as long as such attachments 
should exist before marriage. Early attach- 
ments and long engagements seldom do well. 
The love which boys and girls have for each 
other, is a temporary feehng, liable to frequent 
change. If they form an engagement to be 



MARRIAGE. 163 

married under such circumstances, before tliey 
are old enough to marry, perhaps each one 
will have fallen in love with some one else. 
They may still marry, because they consider 
it dishonorable to break an engagement, but 
they will probably be unhappy through life. 
The true attachment that should lead to mar- 
riage, can not be felt much before you are 
eighteen years old, and from that age to 
twenty-five is the proper time to marry. 

School girls, therefore, should not talk about 
love, and beaux, nor read novels and love 
tales. Such things will lead them to imagine 
themselves in love, when, in fact, they know 
nothing about it. The interest that school 
girls sometimes feel in such subjects, and their 
incessant talking about them, form a strong 
objection to boarding-schools. 

I lately met with a very intelligent and 
estimable lady, who told me she had never 
been at school a day in her life. Her mother, 
she said, had such dread of the dangers at 
boarding-schools, that she Avould have pre- 
ferred to have her daug-hter destitute of edu- 
cation, except to be able to read the Bible, 
rather than have her exposed to their influence. 
I know a gentleman who entertains the same 



164 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

opinion, and who educates his daughters at 
home, in preference to sending them to any 
school. 

When young girls are at home with their 
parents, they seldom talk of having beaux, or 
being in love. To their parents they would 
not think of talking on such subjects, and their 
natural modesty would prevent it with their 
brothers and sisters. But at school they too 
often lose their natural modesty. They meet 
with rude, bold girls, whose conversation is 
wholly on such subjects, and they are insensi- 
bly led into the same spirit. 

When your school-days are over, and you 
are at home under the eye of your parents, it 
will be time enouo-h to form attachments that 

O 

may result in marriage. If you form them 
when quite young, your feelings may change 
before you are old enough to marry ; and if 
you give 3^our hand without your heart, you 
may calculate on a miserable life. 

Attachments of this kind are too apt to be 
founded on beauty of person, and mere exter- 
nal appearances. There is certainly something 
in personal beauty calculated to inspire affec- 
tion ; but if the qualities of the mind do not 
correspond with those of the body, disappoint- 



MARRIAGE. 165 

iiient and misery may be the result of mar- 
riage. On the other hand, where there are 
noble qualities of the mind, a cultivated in- 
tellect and an affectionate heart, a durable at- 
tachment may be formed, and a happy mar- 
riage take place, where beauty of person is 
wanting. The qualities of the heart are much 
more important than those of the body; but 
as these can only be known by acquaintance, 
you should not be in haste to marry. 

If you desire to be happy in marriage, you 
must form those habits, and cultivate those 
tempers, which will render you agreeable. If 
you have a furious temper — if you are dicta- 
torial and overbearing — if you have a sus- 
picious or envious heart — if you are excess- 
ively fond of dress, or excessively indolent, 
you can not make a good wife. If you find 
yourself possessed of any of these traits, you 
should either correct them or not marry, for 
you would certainly render a husband un- 
happy, and, therefore, be unhappy yourself. 

When a girl is unpopular among her school- 
mates, it is usually because she has some dis- 
agreeable qualities, which, if not corrected, 
will render her equally unbeloved when 
married. Just such tempers and habits as 



166 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

you indulge now, you will probably carry with 
you through life. If you are now peevish, 
dissatisfied, and fault-finding, you will be sure 
to pull your husband's nose, if any one should 
be so unfortunate as to marry you. If you 
are now cheerful and kind, willing to deny 
yourself a gratification to oblige others, you 
will be sure to diffuse happiness wherever 
you go, and make a wife more precious than 
rubies. 

Marriages, I fear, are too frequently con- 
tracted for the sake of riches. The inquiry, 
''Is he rich?" is so often made, that we might 
suppose this to be the prevailing motive. I 
do not think that young ladies are so apt to be 
influenced by such considerations, as young 
men. It is indeed lamentable that young- 
men are so often ''fortune-hunters." They, 
perhaps, indulge in gambling, intemperance, 
or some vice that makes money necessary. 
They spend their patrimony, involve them- 
selves in debt, and then they must marry a 
fortune. The lady who marries such a man 
is certain of misery. His heart is not on her, 
but her money. This will probably soon be 
spent, and she be reduced to poverty. The 
sadness of disappointment, and the bitterness 



MARRIAGE. 167 

of tears, will be her only solace. Eyen if her 
property should not be squandered, what will 
ifc avail when there is no affection — no love? 
I would warn young ladies to be on their 
guard against ''fortune-hunters," but I would 
by no means insinuate that all young men are 
such. Many, I trust, are actuated by noble 
sentiments, and marry from sincere attachment 
and regard. 

If low and unworthy motives are detestable 
in a young man, how much more detestable 
are such motives in a young lady ! A girl 
becomes fond of dress and show — she must 
ride in a fine carriage — she must have a fine 
house and superb furniture ; and, in order to 
have these, she must ''marry a fortune." 
She gives her hand to some rich man, whom 
she can not love, and is wedded to misery the 
rest of her days. 

The proverb, "When poverty comes in at 
the door, love flees out at the window," is not 
true. There may, indeed, be cases where it 
is verified. When a woman, by her extrava- 
gance, reduces her husband to poverty, he will 
be apt to lose affection for her ; or if the man, 
by gambling or dissipation, should impoverish 
his family, "love would flee out at the win- 



168 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GJRLS. 

dow." But it would not be the poverty in 
either case which would destroy affection, 
but the means by which poverty was produced. 
It is still true that "love may dwell in a cot- 
tage," and that the poor may be happy. 

Those who are in moderate circumstances, 
are, in fact, more apt to be happy in marriage 
than the very rich. The bustle and display 
of the rich, and their endless struggles to out- 
shine each other, must go far to destroy all 
happiness — all real enjoyment of life. Those 
who are content to live in a happy mediocrity, 
when they love and are beloved for their own 
good qualities, enjoy a much larger amount 
of happiness than the very rich or very 
poor. 

Though riches should not be the motive, 
they should not be an objection to marriage. 
Some of the rich have excellent qualities, and 
may be loved for their own sake, and not for 
their wealth. Those who possess wealth may 
be better educated and more intellio-ent than 
the poor. This, however, is not always the 
case. The children of the rich sometimes 
have an impression that their wealth will carry 
them through the world, and make them re- 
spectable, without the trouble of studying. 



MARRIAGE. 169 

They learn nothing at school, and have noth- 
ing but their wealth to recommend them. 

If a young man be intelligent and virtuous, 
industrious and economical, likely to preserve 
and not to squander his means, a young lady, 
who forms an attachment for him, may safely 
marry him, though he be rich; and, if he pos- 
sess these qualities, she may as safely marry 
him though he be poor. With such traits and 
habits, he will certainly acquire property, and 
render her comfortable and happy. It is 
much better to start in life in moderate cir- 
cumstances, and acquire a competency by 
honest industry, than to begin with wealth and 
display, and end in poverty. When a lady 
marries a man less wealthy than herself, she 
should never make any allusion to the differ- 
ence of their circumstances. If she was 
willing to link her destiny with his, reproaches 
about inferiority in any respect, should never 
ao-ain be heard. 

Whether a young man be rich or poor, edu- 
cated or illiterate, if his habits be bad, it will 
be imsafe to marry him. If he be intemper- 
ate, or a gambler, or addicted to low vices, 
he will not be capable of any proper affection 
for a wife, and to marry him would be to 



170 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

plunge into inevitable misery. In a word, 
young ladies, it is much better to remain 
single than to make a bad match. And why 
do you dread a single life ? There is nothing 
dishonorable in being an old maid. 

Many ladies who have never married, have 
been eminently useful to the world. Look at 
Miss Hannah More in England, and Miss 
Catharine Beecher in America, and see what 
single ladies may do ! Be not, therefore, in 
haste to marry. Should you have a suitable 
offer, your happiness may be increased by 
marriage ; but it is better to remain single 
than to marry unsuitably. Remember it is 
for life, and a false step in so important a mat- 
ter, may imbitter all your days. 

You should not allow yourself to become 
attached till you know that the object is worthy 
of your affections. If you give way to your 
feelings, and form attachments blindly, they 
will soon have the control over you; but you 
may and must control your feelings. What 
would you think of a married lady who should 
fall in love with every handsome young man 
she saw? And why will she not, unless she 
resolutely control her feelings ? So must you 
control yours. Persons can not properly love 



MARRIAGE. 171 

each other, unless their tastes and incKnations 
are similar, and this can not be known before 
acquaintance. A young man may be hand- 
some and intelligent, but if he be a drunkard 
you may Avithhold your affections from him, 
and you should resolutely do so. It would 
be infinitely better to remain single than to 
marry him, for your love could never win him 
from such a habit. 

Perhaps, before I close, I should say a few 
words on the question, "Should a young lady 
marry contrary to the wishes of her parents?" 
There may be circumstances in which it would 
be propel', but it is generally safer to be ad- 
vised by the parents. You have no earthly 
friends who love you so much as your parents ; 
none so much desire your happiness. They 
may see defects in a young man which you do 
not perceive. They fear if you marry him 
you will be unhappy. You should surely 
listen to their advice. Do not allow yourself 
to become committed before you know their 
opinion. If they disapprove it, let the matter 
stop at once. 

You should never allow yourself to form 
any such attachment while at school, or away 
from your parents. Young persons at the 



172 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

springs, sometimes fall in love on a week's 
acquaintance, and elope to be married. The 
next we hear of them is a divorce, or such 
quarreling and strife as are incompatible with 
happiness. Runaway matches are seldom 
happy. A young lady who has so little regard 
for the feelings of her parents as to inflict 
such a wound, would not be likely to make a 
good wife. She would soon care as little about 
the feelings of her husband. But if parents 
are unreasonable in their demands, and re- 
quire a daughter to marry some one whom 
she can not love, she should prefer to remain 
single. 

There is no more melancholy sight than to 
see a young lady stand up at the altar of mar- 
riage, and vow to love through life as a wife 
should love, when there is no love in her 
heart; or to know that the man she is marry- 
ing will not love and cherish as a husband 
should, but that his habits of intemperance 
and vice will wring her heart with wretch- 
edness and sorrow. An unhappy marriage is 
no common misery, and there can be no hap- 
piness in marriage without mutual attachment 
founded on proper principles. When this at- 
tachment exists at the beginning, it will go on 



MARRIAGE. 173 

increasing to old age. Happy are tliey who 
are thus married ; theirs is no common hap- 
piness. They may discover imperfections and 
faihngs in each other — they may even have 
moments of anger and heart-burning; but af- 
fection will give them forbearance, and con- 
cessions and reconciliations will but increase 
their attachment. -n 

In a transaction so momentous, and on 
which the happiness or misery of your whole 
life may depend, you should take no step 
without praying to God to guide you to a 
proper decision and proper action. 



174 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS, 



LETTER XVI. 

DUTIES TO PARENTS. 

The fifth commandment says, ''Honor thy 
father and thy mother, that thy days may be 
long upon the land which the Lord thy God 
giveth thee." St. Paul calls this the first 
commandment with promise. Solomon says, 
"The eye that mocketh its father, and de- 
spiseth to obey its mother, the ravens of the 
valley shall pluck it out, and the young eagles 
shall eat it." 

As children are entirely dependent on their 
parents, during the helplessness of infancy and 
childhood, and as they are not qualified to 
judge for themselves what is best, it is a wise 
arrangement of Providence that they should 
obey their parents. If the}^ were left to fol- 
low their own inclinations, as self-willed chil- 
dren often desire to do, they might commit the 
aost improper actions, which would result in 
disgrace and misery. God has, therefore, 
made it the duty of parents to watch over 



DUTIES TO PARENTS. 175 

their children, and restrain them from evil 
actions and from bad company, and even to 
use the rod to enforce obedience. 

If children understood their own interests, 
they would willingly and cheerfully obey their 
parents, unless they required something wrong. 
Then, of course, they should obey God rather 
than man. Still the manner should be kind, 
and they should show that they were grieved 
to be under the necessity of disobeying their 
parents. 

Obedience should be prompt, without con- 
tradicting or objecting. Some children have 
such a murmuring, complaining way — they 
make so many objections, and find so many 
excuses — that if they even do what is com- 
manded, it can hardly be called obedience. 
The word of the parent should be law to the 
child. As soon as you understand what your 
parents wish, you should perform it without 
hesitation or delay. 

^' Honor thy father and thy mother;" that 
is, love and reverence them. If you have a 
proper love for your parents, it will not be 
difficult to obey them. It gives us pleasure 
to gratify any one we love. We are delighted 
to be with them and enjoy their conversation ; 



176 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

and will not love and gratitude fill your hearts, 
when you remember that your parents haA^e 
watched over you from infancy, and guarded 
you from a thousand dangers ? Little do you 
know the anxiety of a mother's heart, or the 
solicitude of a father, or you would not dis- 
tress them by disobedience. 

Children should entertain such high senti- 
ments of regard and honor for their parents, 
that they would obey them in their absence 
as well as in their presence. Those can have 
no true love for their parents who do things 
which they know to be contrary to their 
wishes, Avhenever they are out of their sight. 
I once heard a lady say, that when at school, 
she had frequent opportunities of reading 
novels. Sometimes she would take up one 
and commence it ; but, remembering that her 
parents had forbidden such reading, she would 
immediately put it away. I have heard of a 
young man who refused to dance, when urged 
to do so at a party, assigning as a reason, that 
though he was no professor of religion, his 
mother was, and it would distress her to know 
he danced. How truly did such children 
honor their parents! And how much more 
would all men honor such children, than if they 



DUTIES TO PARENTS. 177 

had pursued tlie contrary course, and acted con- 
trary to the wishes of their parents ! Children 
sometimes take up a false impression, that they 
shall be more honored by the world, if they dis- 
regard what they call the contracted views of 
their parents. On the contrary, they disgrace 
themselves, and bring a reproach on their 
parents by such action. Those children can 
have very little regard for their parents, who 
speak of them disparagingly, contradict them, 
dispute their authority, and do things which 
they know will distress and grieve them. If 
the ravens of the valley do not literally pluck 
out the eyes of such children, they may, nev- 
ertheless, expect that the curses of God will, 
in some form, overtake them. 

Parents are sometimes inferior to their 
children in education; but it would show a 
very bad heart if a girl, who had learned a 
little grammar at school, should laugh at her 
mother for making grammatical blunders. 
Parents very often feel their want of educa- 
tion, and labor hard, and use self-denial, to 
give their children better opportunities than 
they themselves have enjoyed. Children can 
never repay the debt of gratitude which they 
owe their parents for such kindness. How 
12 



178 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

wicked would they be if, instead of feeling 
gratitude, they should only feel pride and self- 
conceit ! It sometimes happens that children 
are ashamed of their parents, when their 
worldly circumstances are a little better than 
those of their parents. The daughter has her 
fine house, and her fashionable company, and 
is ashamed to invite her plain old mother, lest 
by some uncouth expression she should dis- 
grace her ! Such a daughter has no true love 
or honor for her parents, and she may not ex- 
pect the blessing of God. "Pride goeth be- 
fore destruction, and a haughty spirit before a 
fall." 

Children should honor their parents, not 
only when they are poor or ignorant, but 
even when they are wicked. They may be 
distressed to see their parents do wrong — they 
may pray for them, and kindly entreat them 
to reform — but they should throw a vail over 
their faults, and not sj)eak of them to oth- 
ers, nor allow others to speak of them in their 
presence. 

Stubborn and disobedient children, who vex 
and grieve the hearts of their parents, little 
know what sorrow they are treasuring up for 
themselves, if, in the providence of God, their 



DUTIES TO PARENTS. 179 

parents should be taken from tliem. Then the 
remembrance of every unkind word and ac- 
tion, Avill pierce you to the heart ; and the tears 
you shed at their graves will be the more bit- 
ter, because it will be too late to recall what 
you have done. You will say, '*0, that they 
were alive again, that I might ask their for- 
giveness for all my unkindness !" You 
should, therefore, be kind to them now, and 
try to comfort their hearts, by your obedience 
and love. *' Honor thy father and thy mother, 
that thy days may be long upon the land 
which the Lord thy God giveth thee.'' 

Dr. Dwight and other eminent divines 
have thought that kind, obedient children, will 
actually live longer than the disobedient. 
Every day you should pray to God to bless 
your parents, and long preserve their lives. 
■ But perhaps some whom I am now address- 
ing have already lost their parents. When 
you were too young to appreciate the great 
loss you sustained, your dear mother was 
committed to the grave. In my heart I pity 
girls who are left young without a mother. 
ISTo human being on earth can supply her 
place. Your dearest friend can not love you 
as much as your own mother. But God, who 



180 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

has promised to be a father to the fatherless, 
will take care of the orphan children who trust 
in him. 

Whoever stands to you in the place of a 
mother, should receive your obedience and 
love. Has your father married again ? Look 
upon your step-mother as in the place of your 
own mother, and let her have the warm af- 
fections of your heart. Children are apt to 
entertain an unreasonable aversion toward 
step-parents. This is certainly wrong. Though 
you may not be able to love them as much as 
your own parents, still you should love and 
honor them. You should love your step- 
mother on your father's account. Any disre- 
spect or disobedience to her, will distress him. 
You should try to smooth his passage down 
the hill of time, and not bring down his gray 
hairs with sorrow to the grave. 

Again: you should love her on your own 
account. You need a mother. How many 
bad and idle habits will you form — how rude 
will you be in your manners — how apt to as- 
sociate with improper companions — how apt 
to go to ruin, if you have no mother to watch 
over you, and guide you, and pray for you, 
and love you ! She stands to you in the place 



DUTIES TO PARENTS. 181 

of your own mother, and will discharge those 
duties, if she can have your affections. It is 
a false opinion that step-mothers are always 
unkind. They can not possibly love as warmly 
as the real mother ; still they are often kind 
and affectionate, and labor faithfully to dis- 
charge their important duties. 

Have you a step-father? If you treat him 
unkindly, it will distress your mother, and de- 
stroy that sweet harmony which should ever 
reign in a family. You need the protection 
and guardianship of a father, and you should 
thank God that you are not left totally an 
orphan. In a word, as you value your own 
happiness, and the happiness of your family, 
I entreat you to love and obey your step- 
parents. 

When you are at school, and especially if 
you are from home, your teachers, and the 
persons with whom you board, should stand 
to you in the place of your parents. Your 
parents are engaged in other aff"airs, and in- 
trust your education and guardianship to oth- 
ers, who, for the time being, represent them. 
You should honor and love your teachers, and 
be obedient to their wishes. They are labor- 
ing for your good. They are gratified when 



182 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

you succeed in your studies, and pained when 
you waste your precious time in idleness. 
You should thank them when they point out 
your errors, and remonstrate with you for your 
misconduct. Some girls are so unreasonable 
as to dislike and abuse their teachers, when- 
ever they will not allow them to have their 
own way. Remember, your teachers are the 
representatives of your parents, who have put 
you under their charge. If you honor your 
parents, you should also honor your teachers. 
Never speak ill of them. They can not do 
you the good they desire, unless you respect 
them, and always speak of them kindly. You 
blame the teacher, when, perhaps, the fault is 
your own ; forgetting that if you were left to 
yourself without restraint, you would soon go 
to ruin. 

It may not be amiss to add a few words 
about sisterly duties. If you are an older 
sister, you should treat your younger sisters 
with kindness. Especially if you have lost 
your mother, should you feel the necessity of 
watching over the younger members of the 
family, and, as far as possible, fulfilling to- 
ward them the duties of a mother. The eld- 
est sister has great responsibilities resting on 



DUTIES TO PARENTS. 183 

her, and she should be careful always to set a 
good example. 

If you are a younger sister, you should look 
up to your older sister for advice and instruc- 
tion. If you have no mother, it will be the 
more necessary to submit to her authority, and 
always treat her with kindness and love. How 
unpleasant is it to see sisters quarreling ! Sis- 
ters can not be happy that live in a fretful, 
angry mood, and it makes all unhappy who 
witness their quarrels. 

How delightful to see a family in which love 
and harmony reign ! The children love and 
obey their parents, and brothers and sisters 
are kind to each other. I*^o angry words are 
heard, but the law of kindness is in their 
hearts and on their tongues. "Behold," says 
the Psalmist, ''how good and how pleasant it 
is for brethren to dwell together in unity. It 
is like the dew that descended on the mount- 
ains of Zion, where the Lord commanded the 
blessing, even life forever more." 



184 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS, 



LETTER XVII. 

TEMPER. 

The government of the temper is by no 
means an unimportant lesson, and sometimes 
it is a very difficult one. In your daily inter- 
course with your school-mates, and "vvith the 
world, many things will occur to irritate you. 
To be calm and placid, under such circum- 
stances, is very desirable. 

Some persons seem to have much worse 
tempers than others. The slightest thing will 
put them in ill-humor. Their blood seems to 
boil in their veins — their countenances become 
almost distorted with rage, and they pour out 
a torrent of abuse on any one near them. 
Whether they are constitutionally ill-tempered, 
or have become so by early and continued in- 
dulgence, it is, perhaps, difficult to decide.. 
The tempers of children are often spoiled at an 
early age, by their being allowed to fret about 
every thing that displeases them. A habit of 
fretfulness and ill-humor is soon formed by 



TEMPER. 185 

such indulgence. The mothers, therefore, 
who allow their children to indulge in ill- 
humor without restraint, are preparing them 
to be unhappy through life. 

Ill-temper, no doubt, very often arises from 
ill-health. It is more difficult to bear provo- 
cation when the nerves are weak, and the body 
generally debilitated, than when we enjoy the 
cheerful flow of good health. Hence it is a 
common remark, that persons are peevish 
when recovering from sickness, but when 
health is re-established, their cheerfulness re- 
turns. 

Ill-temper may, perhaps, sometimes be con- 
stitutional. Some children, from their infancy, 
seem more sour and morose than others. Our 
natures are depraved, and we are prone to sin 
of different kinds, but not all equally inclined 
to the same sins. St. Paul speaks of a heset- 
iing sin, which, no doubt, differs in different 
persons. Some children are more inclined to 
tell falsehoods than others. Some are inclined 
to acts of dishonesty, some to pride, some to 
ill-temper, and some to other things. 

The early and strong inclination to those 
sins, does not form an excuse for them, be- 
cause God has provided a remedy. Christ 



186 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

has tauglit us that we must be born again. If 
we believe in his name, the Spirit of God will 
renew our hearts, and enable us to resist the 
temptation to those sins. When a bad habit 
has once been formed, it will require constant 
prayer and watchfulness to avoid falhng into 
it again. The drunkard must be reformed 
many years before he is out of danger of re- 
turning to intemperance. So the person who 
has indulged in ill-temper, will have many 
long and hard struggles before it can be over- 
come. But the grace of God will give the 
victory to those that ask that grace. 

It is, therefore, no excuse to ill-tempered 
persons to say, that they are naturally so, and 
can not help it. We are naturally inclined to 
many sins ; but we are still required to resist 
them, and to pray for new and clean hearts. 
If you attempt to conquer any bad habit in 
your own strength, you will fail; but if you 
earnestly pray for Divine assistance, you may 
succeed. 

You should endeavor to correct a bad tem- 
per, not only because it is sinful, but because 
it renders yourself and all about you unhappy. 
To feel ill-humor toward any one is a most 
unpleasant feeling. If the anger becomes 



TEMPER. 187 

more violent, and rage boils up in the heart, it 
is distressingly painful. What a wide differ- 
ence between such feelings and those of good- 
humor and kindness ! Frowns and smiles dif- 
fer very widely, but the inward feelings are 
infinitely dissimilar. 

Again : when you give way to your temper, 
you say spiteful things, which you would not 
utter for any consideration when in a good 
humor. When your paroxysm of passion has 
subsided, you feel ashamed and sorry that 
you should have spoken so foolishly. How 
many such mortifications might you avoid, if 
you could always keep in a good humor ! 

Think how disagreeable your ill-temper 
must be to others. Words which, if spoken 
in good -humor, would do no harm, when 
spoken in ill-humor, will cut to the quick, and 
wound the feelings of your friends. It is be- 
cause you feel what you say. Words intended 
to wound, always wound, because your very 
tone of voice conveys your meaning. An 
angry word, or look, in a circle of cheerful 
girls, soon casts a gloom over the spirit of all. 
Not merely the person to whom the ill-natured 
word is spoken is wounded, but all who hear 
it feel unpleasantly. 



188 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

What a dreadful thing, then, is an ill- 
temper ! How important to correct it ! If a 
single ill-natured word be so unpleasant in its 
consequences, how unhappy must that girl be 
who is all the time peevish and out of temper ! 
She frets because she has to rise early, or be- 
cause she must study. The breakfast does 
not please her, and the dinner is unsuitable ; 
the teachers are unreasonable, and her class- 
mates are unkind. She frets and mutters all 
day, and, no doubt, dreams fretful, ill-natured 
dreams at night. If she speaks of any one, 
it is to say something ill. She seems to take 
pleasure in speaking of the faults and miscon- 
duct of others. 

Woe to the man who gets such a girl for his 
wife ! The honey-moon will scarcely be over 
before she will betray her ill-temper, and the 
poor man will never be able to do any thing 
to please her. The difficulty will lie not in 
any impropriety in his conduct, but in her ill- 
temper, which perverts and distorts every 
thing. Miss Coxe, in the Young Lady's Com- 
panion, tells an anecdote of a young man who 
called at an unexpected hour, to see a young 
lady to whom he was engaged to be married. 
As he was about to enter the house, he heard 



TEMPER. 189 

strange sounds within, and paused on the 
threshold to hsten. It was the voice of the 
young lady, engaged in a violent quarrel with 
her mother about some article of dress. He 
silently withdrew, and sent her a note, stating 
what he had heard, and saying he was sure 
that a lady who would quarrel with her 
mother, could never make him happy. He 
made a fortunate escape. 

When we find our temper getting the better 
of us, it is a good plan to speak in a calm, de- 
liberate manner, or to refrain entirely from 
speaking. '*A soft answer turneth away 
wrath, but grievous words stir up ang*er." If 
we can not speak without betraying ill-humor, 
it is best to be silent. What we say will pro- 
voke a keen reply, which will only increase 
our irritation. There is danger that command 
of the temper will be entirely lost, and anger 
become furious. Refrain from speaking, or 
speak in calm and soothing tones, and you 
will avoid much unhappiness. A Quaker is 
reported to have said that he could command 
his temper by commanding his voice. 

When any one endeavors to wound your 
feelings, it is more especially necessary to be 
on your guard. When you feel the wound. 



190 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

the first impulse is to make a resentful answer. 
I know it is difficult at such a time to keep 
the tono'ue still. You feel so much like re- 
torting, you have something on your tongue 
that would cut so keenly, you think it would 
do you good to let it fly ; you must — ah, no ! 
wait till it is all over, and your passion cools, 
and good-humor returns, then you will rejoice 
that you did not utter the ill-natured words. 
A quarrelsome girl will have the last word, 
and it is as well to let her have it first as last. 
She will be more mortified by your silence 
than by the most severe things you could 
say. 

If you have given way to your temper, and 
said improper things to others, or about them, 
you should pray to God to pardon your sin, 
and implore his grace that you may be able 
to avoid such things in ftiture. You should 
also go to the wounded person, and apologize 
for your misconduct. Some persons think it 
degrading to make apologies, but the real 
degradation consists in committing the offense. 
When you were angry, and used harsh and 
insulting words, was the time you degraded 
yourself in the sight of angels and of God. 
But to apologize for such misconduct is mag- 



TEMPER. 191 

nanimous and heroic, God, and angels, and 
all good men, will approve such conduct. 

Can you not say, "Miss E , I know I 

wounded you the other day, when I was in an 
ill humor. I am sorry— will you forgive?" 
"My teacher, I spoke very harshly of you af- 
ter you reprimanded me. I was wrong — I will 
endeavor to do better in future ?" Blessed are 
those who act in this manner ! God will give 
them grace to overcome their ill-temper. 

You must also cultivate a forgiving spirit 
toward others. Christ teaches us that God 
will not forgive our offenses, unless we are 
willina: to fors^ive others: "Foreive us our 
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass 
against us." Can you say this part of the 
Lord's prayer ? E'ot unless you are willing to 
forgive ; otherwise, you will pray that you may 
not be forgiven. 

How terrible is it when ill-temper is so far 
indulged as to produce strife and quarrels, 
malice and hatred ! When our feelings be- 
come unforgiving and revengeful, they make 
us like fiends, and prepare us to dwell with 
them. 

What a happy thing is it to have a good 
temper ! To be always cheerful, always ready 



* 
192 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS, 

to smile, must not only make the possessor of 
such feelings happy, but must diffuse happi- 
ness wherever she goes. When your brow is 
clouded, and your heart is sad, if you can 
meet with such a person, a few cheerful, good- 
humored words, will drive away your sadness, 
and restore the sunshine of better feelings. 
Solomon says, "He that is of a merry coun- 
tenance, hath a continual feast; but anger 
resteth in the bosom of fools."' 



SPOILED GIRLS. 193 



LETTER XVIII. 

SPOILED GIRLS. 

There is an unfortunate class of young per- 
sons called spoiled children, whom all persons 
agree in censuring. But what is meant by 
being spoiled? Very young children are 
spoiled when they are rude and bold, or self- 
willed and obstinate. They fret and pout at 
every obstacle to the gratification of their 
wishes. If a lady comes to visit you, and 
brings one of these spoiled children along, you 
must have an eye to your choice flowers and 
fruit, for it will not keep its hands off of any 
thing it can reach. Every thing in the room 
will, perhaps, be turned upside down, and 
you will wish, before night, that ladies would 
leave spoiled children at home. I suppose 
they behave no better at home, for it is the 
improper indulgence of the parents which 
spoils them. 

When girls have been spoiled at home, they 
are apt to carry many disagreeable ways with 
13 



194 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIKLS. 

them to school. They give trouble to the 
teachers, and are unpopular with their school- 
mates. Havins' been accustomed to have their 
own way, they submit unwillingly to the re- 
straints of the school. They are selfish and 
self-willed; in a word, they are spoiled chil- 
dren, and, therefore, unbeloved. 

There are many ways in which girls at 
school become spoiled. Affectation is one. 
This arises from vanity, or an inordinate de- 
sire to have the good opinion of others. Per- 
sons may unconsciously imitate the tones or 
manner of some one whom they admire. 
Young preachers, in this way, sometimes copy 
the defects of their seniors. It is said that 
when Dr. Bangs was presiding elder, all the 
young preachers in his district got into the 
habit of carrying the head to one side, in imi- 
tation of the Doctor. They were, no doubt, 
wholly unconscious of it. In like manner a 
young lady hears Jenny Lind, or some dis- 
tinguished performer, sing, and endeavors, 
perhaps without being aware of it, to imitate 
her tones or manner. What was natural to 
the performer, is not natural to the young 
lady, and her performance i^j ludicrous and 
disagreeable. It is mere afiectation, which 



SPOILED GIRLS. 195 

may show itself in the tones of voice in sing- 
ing- or conversation, in the manner of walking, 
dressing, or moving the head or hand, or any 
part of the body. You should certainly study 
ease and gracefulness of manner, but you 
should be perfectly natural, and not ape or 
imitate any one else. Whatever is awkward 
or disagreeable in your manners, you should 
correct. But there is a way of talking and of 
moving which is natural to yourself. Any de- 
parture from this is affectation. Cowper only 
expresses the common feeling of mankind, 
when he says, *'In my soul I loathe all affect- 
ation." 

Oirls are spoiled when they indulge in self- 
conceit, on account of their real or supposed 
advantages. How often do you hear it said, 
** Some one has told Miss she is hand- 
some, and it has spoiled her. Did you notice 
at the party what pains she took to display her 
set of fine teeth, or her lily-white hand, or 
her beautiful eyes? I acknowledge she has 
some beauty, but to make such an effort to 
display it, is quite disgusting!" Whatever 
charms you may possess, you must be quite 
unconscious of their existence ; or, at least, 
you must have sufficient gravity of mind not 



196 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

to show by your actions that you are con- 
scious of them. In other words, you must 
not allow yourself to be spoiled by any such 
thing. 

Some girls become spoiled because their 
parents are rich. They feel so self-important 
on account of it, that they act in a supercili- 
ous and scornful manner toward girls, who are, 
perhaps, their superiors in every other respect 
than the possession of wealth. I do not mean 
to say that the children of all the rich are 
spoiled. Many of them are delightfully un- 
conscious of any advantage. They associate 
as freely with a poor girl who is worthy of 
their regards, and love her as sincerely and 
ardently, as if she were rich. 

School girls should associate on terms of 
republican equality. Aristocratic distinctions 
will come, alas ! too soon ; but they should 
never be known during school-days. The 
children of the rich should be kind and affec- 
tionate to the poor, for these are noble traits ; 
and they will be so, unless riches have spoiled 
them. 

Strange to say, girls are sometimes spoiled 
by education. That is, they get a smattering 
of learning, and are puffed up in their own 



SPOILED GIRLS. 197 

estimation. Deep and thorougli education is 
not apt to be ostentatious or pedantic. , Those 
who think themselves vastly wise and smart, 
are generally superficial. 

" A little learning is a dangerous thing ; 
Drink deep, or taste not tlie Pierian spring. 
Here shallow draughts intoxicate the brain ; 
But drinking largely sobers us again." 

When a girl returns from school, and re- 
fuses to embrace cordially her old associates, 
because she knows a little more than they do, 
it indicates a bad heart. It shows, at least, 
that she is spoiled ; and she will soon become 
unpopular by assuming airs of superiority to 
her equals. It is well if she does not get 
above her business at home, too, and refuse 
to assist her mother in domestic affairs, be- 
cause, forsooth, she has been at school, and 
obtained a little smattering of grammar and 
algebra. 

In a word, to become vain on account of 
any advantages, real or imaginary, is to be 
spoiled. All the world will condemn self- 
praise: ''Let another praise thee, and not 
thine own lips." If you see a rich man plain 
and unaffected in his manners, you ^dmire 
him the more because his riches have not 



198 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

spoiled him. Hoav did all men admire and 
praise General Washington for his great mili- 
tary talents, and the benefits he conferred on 
his country! But if he had been weak 
enough to be spoiled by this admiration, it 
would have tarnished the glory of his achieve- 
ments. So far from any effect of this kind 
being produced, General Washington was 
so modest that he never spoke of his own 
actions. 

Dr. Chalmers was a great pulpit orator. 
Admiring crowds attended his preaching, and 
sat entranced under his eloquence. But if 
he had been puffed up by these flattering 
attentions, he would have been spoiled, and 
his usefulness would have been at an end. 
To be capable of being spoiled, indicates 
some defect, mental or moral. If the 
preacher were seeking only human admira- 
tion, and his actions betrayed this feeling, 
how would it lessen him in the estimation of 
all his hearers ! If his soul be imbued with 
the love of souls, and he preaches to glorify 
Christ, then human praises will not spoil 
him. 

Young preachers are sometimes sadly 
spoiled by the injudicious flatteries of their 



SPOILED GIRLS. 199 

friends. But it impairs their usefulness, till 
tliey rise above it. If tliey have eloquence 
or talents, these are gifts which God has be- 
stowed for purposes of usefulness, not mere 
ornaments, of which to be vain. 

So if young ladies possess advantages of 
wealth, beauty, or education, these are di- 
vinely bestowed to enable them to be more 
useful. If they strut about, as the peacock, 
in admiration of its fine feathers, they will 
show themselves unworthy of such gifts. If 
they remember how little they have used them 
to God's glory, they will have more occasion 
for humility than vanity. Whoever takes 
proper views of things, will be modest and 
diffident — not self-conceited and vain. Solo- 
mon said, long since, "Seest thou a man wise 
in his own conceit? there is more hope of a 
fool than of him.'* 



200 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS 



LETTER XIX. 
TEACHINa. 

As many of you, I trust, are receiving edu- 
cation, with the laudable design of becoming- 
teachers, I will subjoin two letters on the sub- 
ject of teaching. If you engage in teaching, 
I hope you will be fond of the employment. 
If we engage in any pursuit with only half a 
heart, we are discouraged by every little im- 
pediment; but if we engage with earnestness 
and enthusiasm, mountains will dwindle into 
molehills, and success will crown our efforts. 
When Napoleon wished to cross the Alps, 
although the difficulties were almost insur- 
mountable, yet his heart was bent on the 
matter, and he would not hear that there was 
any such word as impossible. 

And is it not a delightful occupation, to 
watch the expanding intellect, assist its devel- 
opment, and strengthen its growth? Is the 
chemist interested in making experiments 
on simple and compound substances, and in 



TEACHING. 201 

studying their various affinities and endless 
combinations ? Experiments on mind should 
surely be more interesting than those on mat- 
ter. Is the mineralogist interested while he 
excavates the earth, in search of the precious 
ores, and separates the valuable metal from 
the rubbish with which it is combined ? The 
teacher operates on a more precious material 
than gold or silver, which, when rightly pol- 
ished, will outshine the diamond that sparkles 
in the crown of royalty. Teaching an unin- 
teresting, degrading employment ! Surely, 
next to preaching the Gospel, which fits men 
for their immortal destinies, teaching is the 
most noble, most interesting employment on 
earth. 

With regard to the details of teaching, and 
the modes of communicating knowledge, the 
practice of teachers is various. Some make 
the whole routine of education a mere exer- 
cise of memory. Rules and definitions are 
committed to memory, answers to printed 
questions are also committed, and if the pupil 
can answer the question in the words of the 
book, the teacher troubles himself no further 
about it. This is all wrong. The teacher 
who understands his business, will ask many a 



202 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS, 

question not in the book. The pupil must be 
taught to think — yea, compelled to think — by 
beino- thrown on his own resources. Presi- 

o 

dent Young', of Danville, Ky., says, *'Man 
is a lazy animal, and will not think unless he 
is compelled." It is amusing to notice the 
expedients to which children will sometimes 
resort to avoid it. They will rely on their 
class-mates, commit answers to memory, and 
do almost any thing rather than think. 

But they must be driven from all these sub- 
terfuges, and be taught to bend their own 
minds to the subject. I will illustrate by an 
example: Suppose a class in grammar to be 
parsing the following sentence: ''The river 
tlieir image receives," meaning the image of 
the trees on its bank. "In what case," says 
the teacher, ''is the noun image?^^ Pupil. 
"In the nominative case." "Wrong," some 
teachers would, perhaps, say, and pass the 
w^ord to the next, and the pupil who first 
missed it would leave the class without under- 
standing any thing about it. A teacher who 
understood his business better, would not pass 
it on, nor directly explain how to parse it, 
but, by some such questions as the following, 
would lead the pupil to think for himself: 



TEACHING. 203 

T. You say that tlie noun image is in 
the nominative case ; to what is it nomi- 
native ? 

P. To the verb receives. 

T. The meaning, then, is, the image re- 
ceives the river. Is that the way in which 
you understand the sentence ? 

F. 'No, sir. The river receives the image. 

T. In what case, then, is image? 

P. In the objective case. 

T. Why? 

P. Because it is the object of the verb 
receives. 

In this way the pupil is taught to think; 
and whole books committed to memory with- 
out thought and reflection, are but useless 
lumber. Grammar is an excellent subject for 
accomplishing this object, but it may be done 
in any subject whatever. Take a specimen 
from chemistry. We will suppose heat to be 
the subject of the lesson : 

T. How is heat diffused through water? 

P. The fire must be applied to the bottom 
of the vessel, and as the particles of water 
become heated they rise, and the cold parti- 
cles descend, till they come in contact with 
the heated surface, and are heated. 



204 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

T. Why do the warm particles rise ? 

P. Because they are expanded by the heat, 
and made hghter. 

T, Is water lighter when warm than 
cold? 

P. No, sir. 

T. You say, as the particles are heated 
they become lighter and rise ; then, when they 
all get hot, will they not be lighter? 

Here is a difficulty which they may not at 
first be able to solve ; but, after having paid 
some attention to the subject, they will answer 
that the particles are not absolutely lighter, 
but specifically so ; that is, lighter in propor- 
tion to their bulk. The great matter is, to 
make them feel the difficulty. Lead them into 
an absurdity, if possible, or drive them into 
some corner, from which they can not extri- 
cate themselves without some mental exertion. 
Thus you will rouse up the dormant energies 
of the mind, and compel them to think. Then 
you will have gained the first great step in ed- 
ucation. Children will themselves prefer this 
plan, when they become accustomed to it. 
Their curiosity will be excited, and they will 
be all attention. They must, indeed, be con- 
vinced that the teacher's object is not to em- 



TEACHING. 205 

barrass or mortify them, and they will soon 
be eager to drink in the knowledge thus com- 
municated. 

Some difficult points in a subject must be 
explained with great care, lest the class should 
pass over without understanding them. It 
will be easy to tell, by their countenance and 
manner, whether they do really understand. 
If not, the teacher must simplify and present 
the subject in some different aspect, turning 
it round in every variety of manner, till 
they comprehend what is intended. "Every 
teacher," says Mann, ''should be possessed 
of a faculty of explanation, a tact in discerning 
and solving difficulties, not to be used too 
often, for then it would supersede the effort it 
should encourage ; but when it is used, to be 
quick and sure as a telescope, bringing distant 
objects near, and making obscure ones dis- 
tinct. Whatever words a child does not un- 
derstand in his lesson, are to him words in a 
foreign language, and they must be translated 
into his own language, before he can take any 
interest in them. But if they are left un- 
noticed or explained in words and phrases of 
which he is ignorant, then, instead of delight- 
ful and instructive ideas, he gets only empty 



206 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

words, mere sounds, atmospheric vibrations." 
Dr. Jolinson's celebrated definition of ** net- 
work," might well make a child stare, but could 
communicate no information. He defines 
"net-work, any thing reticulated or decussa- 
ted, with interstices between the intersections." 
Let the subject be so simplified that the words 
and ideas can be easily comprehended. Then 
the pleasure it gives makes the eye sparkle, 
and diffuses a glow of intelligence over the 
countenance. "Mark a child when a clear, 
well-defined, vivid conception seizes it. The 
whole nervous tissue vibrates; every muscle 
leaps ; every joint plays ; the face becomes 
auroral ; the spirit flashes through the body 
like lightning through the cloud. Tell a child 
the simplest story which is adapted to his 
present state of advancement, and, therefore, 
intelHgible, and he will forget sleep, leave food 
untasted, nor will he be enticed from hearing 
it, though you should give him for play-things 
shining fragments broken off from the sun. 
Indeed, our Maker created us in blank igno- 
rance, for the very purpose of giving us the 
boundless, endless pleasure of learning uew 
things."* 

■* Mauu's Lectures. 



TEACHING. 207 

Who, that has ever witnessed the happmess 
which children experience when they grasp 
new and difficult ideas, will say that teaching 
is an unpleasant business ? 

It was my good fortune, when a young man, 
to have one of the best teachers in the world, 
Dr. Louis Marshall, of Woodford, Ky. His 
plan was very much that already described. I 
knew him on one occasion to spend two or 
three hours with a young man at a single 
Greek word. The young man was, perhaps, 
rather dull, but the Doctor would not solve 
the difficulty for him. He asked him ques- 
tions pointing to the solution, which, after 
hours of labor, the young man was at last able 
to see. The pleasure it gave him was a suf- 
ficient compensation to the Doctor for all his 
toil. 

If you have no sympathy with the diffident 
and the dull, you should never become a 
teacher. Children, even when they under- 
stand their lessons, will sometimes fail at reci- 
tation through embarrassment. By kindness 
and sympathy, the teacher may dissipate their 
fears, and inspire them with confidence. Oth- 
ers are dull to comprehend, slow to perceive. 
The subject appears to them involved in utter 



208 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

darkness — tliey know nothing about it. If, 
then, the teacher becomes impatient, and in- 
dulges in scolding, it will only increase their 
embarrassment, and cause them to shed many 
a bitter tear. They may, perhaps, become en- 
tirely discouraged, and give up education as a 
hopeless task. A little more patience and 
kindness in leading them on, and removing 
their difficulties, might be attended with very 
different results. Finding themselves capable 
of overcoming some difficulties, they would 
be encouraged to attempt others, till the dull 
and hesitating would become the intelligent 
and well-educated. Every new exertion of 
their minds would strengthen and develop 
their faculties, till they might surpass those 
who were supposed to be geniuses. 

The teacher must, however, find the proper 
medium between too much and too little as- 
sistance. The child that is always carried in 
the arms of the nurse, will never learn to 
walk; but it would be cruel to withdraw as- 
sistance and protection too soon. ■ Let the 
limbs be used while the nurse holds the hand, 
and it will soon learn to go alone. 

When a teacher thus labors to improve his 
pupils, he will soon find them attached to him. 



TEACHING. 209 

Tliey will look upon him as a friend, and, in 
after years, will remember him with gratitude 
and affection. How much better is such a 
plan of teaching, than the old one of compell- 
ing children to learn long and difficult tasks, 
of which they understand nothing ! Good or- 
der and strict discipline are, indeed, indis- 
pensable in a school, but how much better to 
secure them by kindness and love, than by 
scolding, and storming, and blows ! The old 
fable about the contest between the sun and 
the north-wind, to make the man lay aside his 
cloak, will well illustrate these different meth- 
ods of government. The more the wind raged 
the more closely the man drew his cloak about 
him; but the gentle beams of the sun soon 
made him throw it open, and drop it from his 
shoulders. Gain the heart of the pupil, and 
make him feel that you are his friend, and he 
will go with you with delight to drink the 
fountains of knowledge. The school-days of 
children should be joyous and happy — not 
full of sighing and tears. All the studies 
they pursue must afford them pleasure if they 
can once understand them. As they advance 
from one science to another, and the field 
of knowledge expands and brightens before 

14 



210 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

them, their happiness will increase almost to 
ecstasy. 

Some few will, of course, be found, who are 
so idle, so perverse, so full of mischief, that 
they can never be inspired with a taste for 
books. The parents, in the first place, spoil 
them at home, by improper management and 
indulgence ; and when they can no longer 
control them, they send them to S'^hool to avoid 
perplexing labor. After exhausting his pa- 
tience, the teacher has to send them home 
again, because he can do nothing with them. 

If you become a teacher, I trust you will 
feel it to be your duty to give moral and re- 
ligious instruction, as well as to train the in- 
tellect. You should care for the souls of your 
pupils, and pray with and for them. En- 
deavor to lead them to Christ, that they may 
become the lambs of his flock. Where there 
are so many sectarian opinions, to give re- 
ligious instruction, and yet give offense to no 
one, is a matter of some difficulty. But the 
Protestant denominations are generally agreed 
in the fundamental principles of the Bible, 
and Christian charity and forbearance are 
happily increasing among them. You may 
avoid sectarian peculiarities, and still ^ive much 



TEACHING. 211 

valuable religious instruction. Endeavor to 
have your own heart imbued with the Spirit 
of Christ, and live in the exercise of prayer, 
and love, and kindly affections. Then will 
your pupils take knowledge of you that you 
have been with Christ, and will go with you 
to the fountain of mercy. Miss Lyon's heav- 
enly-mindedness was the great secret of her 
success in doing good. If she was instru- 
mental in the conversion of more young 
ladies than other teachers, it was because she 
lived more with Christ. I trust you will read 
her life, and imitate her example. 



212 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 



LETTER XX. 

TEACHING. 

I DESIRE in this letter to present you some 
inducements to engage in teaching. It may 
not be the duty of every educated young lady 
to teach, but it would certainly be a great ad- 
vantage to every one to teach two or three 
years after completing her education. It 
would enable you to review your studies, and 
to become thorough in your knowledge. But 
you may do good by teaching, and this should 
be the great inducement. Teachers are much 
needed in all this western country, and a large 
proportion of those actually employed are ig- 
norant and unqualified. Miss Beecher says, 
several thousand teachers are needed for Ohio 
and Kentucky alone. What a field is here be- 
fore you ! Our free institutions can only be 
preserved by the diffusion of intelligence find 
virtue. No one, except the minister of the 
Gospel, can do so much to bless and save the 
country as the teacher of youth. 



TEACHING. 213 

Those employments wliich lead to profit or 
honor, are crowded to overflowing. How 
many physicians do our medical schools turn 
out every year ! How do lawyers swarm like 
locusts in every county seat ! Surely, half of 
them must starve ! But it is the road to honor. 
They hope to be some day appointed judge, 
or to go to Congress, or, perhaps, to be Presi- 
dent of the United States. Then they will be 
rewarded for struggling with present difficul- 
ties. These are often dreams of fancy, castles 
in the air, never to be realized. In the esti- 
mation of men of sense, half the professional 
men in the country would be more respectable 
as industrious mechanics, or teachers in our 
public schools. 

I believe the business 9f teaching is quite 
as agreeable as any other. See the physician, 
dragged from his bed at midnight, to go out 
amidst the cold blasts of winter to visit his 
patients ! He must hear the groans and wit- 
ness the sufferings of the sick and dying. 
What anxiety of mind must he suffer, when 
life or death may depend on his prescription ! 
What danger of misunderstanding the disease 
and giving improper remedies ! 

But is the law any better? The lawyer 



214 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

must have constant intercourse with the worst, 
the most unprincipled part of mankind. Liti- 
gations, quarrels, endless strifes, and horrid 
crimes, must occupy his attention. All that 
is fiend-like and degrading in human nature 
must come under his revieAv. He sees so 
many villains, and hears so much false testi- 
mony and perjury, that his soul sickens, and 
he is ready to conclude that there is not an 
honest man on earth. Who would covet such 
an employment ! But what will not man en ■ 
dure to make money and be accounted re- 
spectable ? 

Behold, then, the merchant! Hear him 
complain of hard times, small profits, bad 
debts, scanty sales, and penurious customers, 
who would Jew him, down in the price of an 
article worth six cents, and you will agree that 
cutting tape is not the most pleasant business 
in the world. 

Shall I be thought absurd if I say that 
teaching is a more agreeable business than any 
of these? It has its vexations and troubles, 
it is true, but there are many agreeable cir- 
cumstances to overbalance them. The teacher 
associates with young and agreeable persons, 
full of life and cheerfulness. Who, that pre- 



TEACHING. 215 

tends to have a heart, does not love children ? 
But I must quote the eloquent langaiage of 
Horace Mann: ''That bright-haired boy, how 
came he as full of music and poetry as a sing- 
ing-book? What an ^olian harp the wind 
finds in him ! ISTor music alone does it awaken 
in his bosom, for let but its feathery touch 
play upon his locks, or fan his cheek, and 
gravitation lets him go. He floats and sails 
away as though his body were a feather, and 
his soul the zephyr that played with it ! These 
delights are born of the exquisite workman- 
ship of the Creator, and they flow out spon- 
taneously, like a bird's song, or a flower's 
beauty. Who ever saw a wretch so heathen- 
ish, so dead, that the merry song or shout of a 
group of gleeful children did not galvanize 
the misanthrope into an exclamation of joy? 
What orator or poet has eloquence that enters 
the soul with such quick, subtile electricity, as 
a child's tear of pity for suff'ering, or his frown 
of indignation at wrong? You perceive, my 
friends, that in speaking of the loveliness of 
children, I have used none but masculine pro- 
nouns — for by what glow and melody of 
speech can I sketch the vision of a young and 
beautiful daughter, with all her bewildering 



216 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

enchantments? What, less than Divine pow- 
er, could have strung the living cords of her 
voice, to pour out unbidden and exulting har- 
monies ? What fount of sacred flame kindles 
and feeds the light that gleams from the pure 
depths of her eye, and flushes her cheek with 
the hues of perpetual morning, and shoots 
auroras from her beaming forehead ? 0, pro- 
fane not the last miracle of heavenly work- 
manship with sight or sound of earthly impu- 
rity ! Keep vestal vigils round her inborn 
modesty, and let the quickest lightnings blast 
her tempter." 

These are, indeed, glowing descriptions, and 
I fear not applicable to many children, unless 
while very young. When they enter their 
teens, they often contract rude and disagree- 
able habits, which destroy much of their love- 
liness, and eclipse the aurora of their counte- 
nances. But when the intellect begins to 
develop, it presents an interest and a charm 
of a higher kind. 

The teacher has an opportunity of improving 
his own mind. Six hours a day are enough 
to spend in the school-room, and these should 
be pleasant hours. The remainder of his time 
he may dispose of at pleasure. He can surel}^ 



TEACHING. 217 

find several hours eacli day for reading. He 
may extend liis knowledge of science, or read 
the history of ancient or modern times. He 
may study algebra, chemistry, or botany; 
may gratify his curiosity with the magnificent 
study of astronomy, or with geology, scarcely 
less magnificent. Happy will be the hours 
spent in such pursuits. 

To whatever department of science he turns 
his attention — whether he studies the vast 
worlds brought to light by the telescope, or 
the diminutive existences revealed by the 
microscope, he will have constant occasion to 
exclaim, in the words of Scripture, '* Great and 
marvelous are thy works. Lord God Al- 
mighty." The acquisition of knowledge is a 
continual source of enjoyment. The thirsty 
soul drinks it in, and finds it refreshing as the 
cooling water-brook in a weary land. 

This is an advantage which teaching pos- 
sesses over almost every other pursuit. When 
a man engaged in any thing else sits down to 
read, he can not enjoy it, for he feels that he 
is neglecting his business. But reading is the 
teacher's business. He thus acquires infor- 
mation which will the better qualify him to 
teach. He is preparing food for the young 



218 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

minds committed to his charge. He has the 
double pleasure of first acquiring and then 
communicating ; not like the parent-bird, 
which stints itself to have the pleasure of 
carrying the precious morsel to its young — his 
having eaten only prepares him the better to 
feed. 

Again: the teacher has vacations, needful 
both for himself and pupils, in which he can 
visit his friends, relax his mind, improve his 
health, travel to distant countries, and increase 
his stock of knowledge. What other occupa- 
tion has so many advantages, so many sources 
of pleasure ? Shall I not induce some of my 
readers to engage in this delightful employ- 
ment ? 

I know it is objected that teachers are badly 
paid ; and there is some foundation for the ob- 
jection. That persons who amuse the world 
should be better paid than those who labor to 
do it good, is a sad proof Of man's depravity. 
A European dancer — Celeste — it is said, re- 
ceived ten thousand dollars in a year in this 
country, and Fanny Ellsler sixty thousand in 
three months, and Jenny Lind ten thousand in 
a single night, while a minister of the Gospel 
can scarcely get five hundred dollars a year. 



TEACHING. 219 

though he toils incessantly for the good of 
souls ; and a lady who teaches thinks she does 
well if she gets two or three hundred. But 
as education is more appreciated, teachers will 
be better paid; and even if the pecuniary 
compensation is small, the consciousness of 
doing good is a great reward. 

But others think the employment not suf- 
ficiently respectable. I know the schoolmaster 
has too often been made the butt of ridicule. 
"Shenstone makes himself merry with the 
toils, privations, and homely manners of a 
school-dame. Goldsmith describes a school- 
master as an arbitrary, tyrannical,, and storm- 
faced brute. Cowper, in his earnest appeal in 
behalf of a private tutor, says, 

' Doom liim not to solitary meals, 
But recollect that lie has sense, and feels,' etc. 

Sir Walter Scott gathers all ungainliness 
of person, awkwardness of manners, and 
slovenliness of dress, into one person ; makes 
him horrid with superstition and pedantry, 
and names the pedagogue Domine Samp- 
son. He says of Dr. Adam, the learned 
author of 'Roman Antiquities,' that he was 
deeply imbued with that fortunate vanity 
which alone could induce a man to submit 



220 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

to the toilsome task of cultivating youth. 
Washington Irving, though deserving praise 
for his valuable contributions to polite litera- 
ture, has more than canceled the debt by the 
injury done to the cause of education, in the 
person of Ichabod Crane."* 

Surely, these men must have fallen into bad 
hands in the days of their boyhood, or they 
would have had more respect for a teacher 
than to make him a subject of ridicule, or to 
suppose that vanity was one of his best quali- 
fications. I am glad to be able to place in 
contrast with these quotations, the opinion of 
Lord Brougham, with regard to Dr. Black, 
one of his teachers. When a young man, he 
attended, at Edinburg, the lectures of Dr. 
Black on chemistry ; and he says, that though 
he afterward heard Pitt, and Fox, and Plunk- 
ett, and all the great British orators, yet he 
never heard any thing that, for pure intellect- 
ual qualification, equaled the admirable lec- 
tures of this teacher of his youth. But take 
his own words: **The reader, who has known 
the pleasure of science, will forgive me if, at 
the distance of half a century, I love to linger 

^Mann's Lectures. 



TEACHING. 221 

over these recollections, and to dwell on the 
delight which, I well remember, thrilled me, 
as we heard this illustrious sao-e detail, after 
the manner I have feebly endeavored to por- 
tray, the steps by which he made his discov- 
eries, illustrating them with anecdotes, some- 
times recalled to his mind by the passages of 
the moment, and giving their demonstration 
by performing before us the many experi- 
ments which had revealed to him first the 
most important secrets of nature. I have 
heard the greatest understandings of the age, 
giving forth their efforts in its most eloquent 
tongues — have heard the commanding periods 
of Pitt's majestic oratory — the vehemence of 
Fox's burning declamation — have followed the 
close, compacted chain of Grant's pure reason- 
ing — been carried away by the mingled fancy, 
epigram, and argumentation of Plunkett; but 
I should, without hesitation, prefer, for mere 
intellectual gratification — though aware how 
much of it is derived from association — to be 
once more allowed the privilege which I in 
those days enjoyed, of being present while 
the first philosopher of his age was the histo- 
rian of his own discoveries, and be an eye- 
witness of those experiments by which he had 



222 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

formerly made them, once more performed 
with his own hands. The quahties which 
distinguished him as an inquirer and a 
teacher, followed him into all the ordinary- 
affairs of life. The soundness of his judg- 
ment in all matters, whether of literature or 
of a more ordinary description, was described 
by Adam Smith, who said he had less non- 
sense in his head than any man living."* 

Teaching not respectable ! What think you 
of Dr. D wight. Professor Silliman, Dr. Way- 
land, and such men, whose names would be 
an honor to any country? What would 
Walter Scott, the novel-writer, weigh if put 
into the scales against such men? And yet 
he thinks vanity a fortunate qualification for a 
teacher ! What is there in teaching that can 
degrade any man, or detract from his fair 
standing ? Ignorant and unqualified teachers 
have, no doubt, brought some reproach on the 
profession. But if one Franklin could dignify 
the business of printing, we trust that hosts 
of well-qualified teachers will arise to elevate 
their profession. Such teachers are now, in 
fact, respected. Who thinks the less of Miss 

^^ Brougham's Lives of Men of Science, etc., page 203. 



TEACHING. 223 

Beecher for having spent fifteen years of her 
hfe in teaching? Ladies who have engaged 
in teaching, have not, so far as I am apprised, 
been the less respected on that account. I 
trust that many young ladies who are now re- 
ceiving a thorough education, will engage in 
teaching. The daughter of a lord could not 
find better employment. Good teachers are 
greatly needed. Children are growing up in 
ignorance and vice, to be, perhaps, a scourge 
to their country. You may infuse into them 
a love of knowledge, and prepare them for a 
better destiny. Your country demands your 
services. Instead of folding your arms in in- 
glorious ease, go out into the fields now 
whitening for the harvest. Go where Provi- 
dence may point the way. Though in an ob- 
scure neighborhood, and with a small salary, 
you will gain experience and win a reputa- 
tion that will prepare you for a more inviting 
situation. 

The opinion of the world as to what con- 
stitutes true respectability and honor is rapidly 
changing. Deeds of arms, and strife, and 
bloodshed, were formerly the best title to 
honor. He who could kill the greatest num- 
ber of mankind, was considered as best en- 



224 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

titled to fame. But agricultural and mechan- 
ical pursuits are now rising into respectability. 
The peaceful and the useful are beginning to 
take precedence over the warlike and de- 
structive. This will increase, for God's word 
declares, "They shall beat their swords into 
plowshares, and their spears into pruning- 
hooks.'* The time may even come when the 
schoolmaster may be held in as high estima- 
tion as the military chieftain. 

Who can read such a work as Napoleon and 
his Marshals, without having his heart sick 
of war? After thousands and millions had 
been slain, how much better was the world 
rendered? If the same genius and wealth 
had been employed in establishing schools and 
diffusing knowledge, what might not have been 
done to ameliorate the condition of mankind? 
Many of Napoleon's marshals appear to have 
had no qualifications for other pursuits. When 
*'wild war had blown its deadly blast," and 
they were called to the helm of government, 
or appointed to civil offices, they proved to be 
totally incompetent to the task. They seemed 
to be fit only to be the butchers of the human 
race. If this be honor I covet it not. On 
the other hand, who can read Brougham's 



TEACHING. 225 

lives of such men as Koberfcson, Watt, Black, 
and Dany, without feeling that literary and 
scientific pursuits are preferable to all the 
strife of war and the renown of arms? He 
who makes discoveries in science, and benefits 
mankind, really deserves more honor than he 
who slaughters millions. 

15 



226 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 



LETTER XXI. 

VALEDICTORY. 

I FEAR too many young ladies go through a 
course of education without thoroughly under- 
standing what they study. Their object seems 
to be merely to get through. If they can 
escape any great blunders at recitations and 
examinations, they have accomplished all they 
desire. As to reviewing a book after the ex- 
amination, or making any efforts to fix its 
contents permanently in the mind, very few, I 
fear, think of such a thing. And have any of 
you so little taste for intellectual pursuits, that 
your whole object is merely to get a diploma, 
and to be able to say you have finished your 
education ? Are you to forget every thing 
about chemistry, natural history, botany, men- 
tal and moral science, and other subjects, as 
soon as you leave school? If this be so, I 
fear we have labored almost in vain to impart 
to you some knowledge of these subjects. 
What you can learn of any of these things 



VALEDICTORY. 227 

at school is very little ; and if that little is to 
be thrown away as soon as school-days are 
over, it would have been about as well never 
to have commenced. If there be in your soul 
any spark of that intelligence which is one of 
the noblest gifts of God to man, you should 
be delighted with your studies as you go 
through a course of education. If you have 
an aversion to books, miserable will be your 
drudgery. The slave who toils for a master, 
but who goes cheerfully to his work, has a 
happy life compared to yours. To be com- 
pelled by parents and teachers to study sub- 
jects for which you have no taste, must be 
dreadful slavery. I sincerely pity you, if you 
are all the time saying to yourself, ** 0, that 
my school-days were over, that I might have 
nothing to do but read novels !" 

But I ask pardon, young ladies — surely, I 
do you wrong in supposing that there may be 
even one such among you. Your counte- 
nances indicate too much intelligence, and 
your success in study has been too great, to 
allow me to suppose that you have no love of 
books. 

What I desire, however, is, that you should 
be actuated, not merely by a moderate and 



228 LETTERS TO SCHOOL. GIRLS. 

common interest in your studies, but by an 
ardent and devoted love. If you thirst for 
knowledge, and desire to drink at its fountains, 
refreshing will be its draughts to your soul. 
You will feel that the time allotted for each 
study is too short — you can not know as much 
about it as you desire. You will resolve that 
when school-days are over, you will gratify 
your excited curiosity in reading other books, 
and diving more deeply into all the mysteries 
of science. 

Trusting that you may be actuated by such 
feelings as these, I desire, at the close of this 
Avork, to give you a few words of advice, 
lest, in the course of events, we might not 
meet again. 

I would, therefore, urge upon those who 
are about to graduate, as well as others that 
may not graduate, occasionally to review their 
studies, and not forget Avhat they have learned. 
You will feel a pecuhar interest in reading- 
over your school-books, a year or two after 
you leave school. Your mind will be then 
more matured, and you will perceive that, 
while at school, you understood the subjects 
very imperfectly. This would be true even 
of the most finished scholars. For with all 



VALEDICTORY. 229 

the studying joii can do, and all the explana- 
tions afforded, you can not now perfectly 
understand the subjects. In two or three 
years you would see them in quite a different 
light, and study them with increased interest. 
Whatever is worth learning, is worth remem- 
bering. It is said that Miss Elizabeth Carter, 
who understood Latin, Greek, Hebrew, and 
several other languages, continued through 
h'fe to read a little every day in each language, 
that she might not forget them. If you have 
studied French, read a few verses every day 
in a French Bible, and you will not forget it. 
Analyze a few plants every summer, and you 
will not forget your botany. Read occasion- 
ally some work on chemistry, natural philoso- 
phy, astronomy, and other subjects, and in 
ten years, if you live, you will be well in- 
formed on all these subjects. Instead of for- 
getting what you learned at school, you will 
have added much to your stock. How much 
better to employ your leisure moments in such 
a way, than in reading novels, from which you 
could gain no valuable information on any 
subject whatever ! 

As a means of retaining your knowledge I 
advise you, in the next place, to form the 



230 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

habit of noticino: such thino-s as ilkistrate the 

subjects you have studied. If at any time 

you travel through the country, you can 

notice the rocks and the fossils which they 

contain, as illustrations of your geology. 

When you see 

" The village -windows blaze, 
Burnislied by tbe setting sun," 

you will notice the direction of the sun, and 
your own position, and perceive that the 
angles of incidence and reflection are equal. 
This will be an illustration of your natural 
philosophy. Whenever you look at the brass 
knobs of your andirons, or open your watch 
to wind it, and on a diminished reflection of 
your own face, other laws of optics will recur 
to your mind. When your shoes are damp, 
and your feet become cold, you Avill remember 
that, as the dampness evaporates, it acquires 
greater capacity for caloric, absorbs and car- 
ries off" the heat, and, therefore, leaves your 
feet cold. This beautiful law, which you 
learn in your chemistry, is also illustrated, 
when you moisten the feverish brow of your 
sick friend, and the evaporation produces the 
sensation of refreshing coolness. 

In examining the eyes of a gnat, or the foot 



VALEDICTORY. 231 

of a fly, you will not only have an illustra- 
tion of your natural history, but also of your 
natural theology ; for in every part of creation 
you will see evidences of contrivance and de- 
sign. 

If in this way you are interested in your 
studies, and keep your eyes open as you go 
through the world, you will meet with in- 
numerable illustrations of the principles of 
science. You will thus seem to be introduced 
into a new world. Every object will afford 
an interest, and be a source of pleasure en- 
tirely unknown to an uneducated person. It 
is thus that education becomes a means of in- 
creasing, yea, of doubling our enjoyments. 

Let me advise you, in the next place, not 
to be novel-readers. There may be some 
good novels — some of moral tendency — some 
that it might be interesting, and even profit- 
able to read; but they are so few, compared 
with the great mass of worthless, licentious, 
and wicked ones, that it is hazardous to a 
young person to become a novel-reader. I 
lately read some very just reflections on this 
subject in Madame de Saussure's **Life of 
Woman." She thinks that the love-tales 
which are always interwoven with novels, 



232 LETTERS TO SCHOOL (JIRLS. 

constituting their cliief attraction to young 
persons, are, in reality, the chief objection to 
them. To read, and think, and talk much 
about love, she thinks dangerous to young 
girls. Their feelings are so easily excited, 
and they are so apt to be carried away into 
improper feelings, that a devoted novel-reader 
can hardly be a pure-minded young lady. 
And, moreover, how ludicrous a part do such 
girls often act, when they imagine themselves 
in love, and desire to act the part of the hero- 
ine of some novel ! 

But, after all, the views of love and connu- 
bial happiness given in novels, are false and 
exaggerated. The poor girl who reads them 
and dreams of happiness, is only preparing to 
plunge herself into misery. Instead of the 
bowers of bliss and earthly paradise described 
in novels, she finds, after marriage, that the 
every-day occurrences of life are plain, sober 
realities. She is terribly distressed, and weeps 
till her heart is ready to break, because she 
can not live on love, and enjoy a perpetual 
honeymoon. 

Let history, biography, and travels, take 
the place of novels, and you will soon find 
them quite as interesting, and a thousand times 



VALEDICTORY. 233 

more profitable. Yea, aim still higher ; review 
your school-books, and read other works on 
the same subjects. Become fond of scientific 
studies, and you will not again lee] like de- 
scending to the puerilities of novels. 

I should be sorry to deliver a diploma to 
any young lady, if I supposed that as soon as 
she received it all the subjects she had studied 
at school would be thrown aside, and she would 
become a mere novel-reader! I should con- 
sider a seminary disgraced by having the 
name of such a lady on its catalogue. No, 
ladies; when you receive a diploma, you 
should look upon yourselves as introduced 
into the republic of letters. To be ''Mistress 
of Arts and Sciences," is a title, when de- 
served, more honorable than that of countess, 
or marchioness, or queen, without education. 

I would not have you to study these things 
for the sake of display — merely to show off 
your learning in company. ITo ; I wish you 
to study science as a source of happiness and 
usefulness. Nor would I have you satisfied 
with merely knowing what books say about 
them. I desire you to become enamored of 
the subjects, and to study them for their own 
sake. In all the sciences we read the great 



234 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

volume of God's works, every part of which 
is full of wisdom, and beauty, and glorious 
lio'ht. *' Great and marvelous are his works." 
In the next place, let me urge you to make 
yourselves useful to the world, during the 
brief existence which God has allotted you 
here below. Do not aim at gaining the ap- 
plause of the world. The breath of human 
renown soon dies away, and is not worth seek- 
ing. But there are many ways in which you 
may do good to your neighbors, in a silent, 
unobtrusive manner, as the gently -flowing 
brook fertilizes the vale, while it excites but 
little notice. You may teach a Sunday school 
class, and train up some young minds for im- 
mortality ; you may visit the sick, relieve the 
poor, and comfort the afflicted ; you may teach 
an ordinary school, if located where such a 
school is needed. Some would be willing to 
teach in a seminary, who would not teach 
elsewhere — so strangely do most persons be- 
lieve that their respectability depends on their 
employment! Hence the crowds of office- 
hunters, who think that if they could get an 
office, they would not only make a living, but 
be very respectable gentlemen. What a ter- 
rible strife have we every four years for the 



VALEDICTORY. 235 

Presidency of the United States, which is con- 
sidered the most respectable civil office on 
earth ! And yet who respects John Tyler, 
although he was President? And who does 
not respect Dr. Franklin, though he was never 
President, but only a printer ? The respecta- 
bility of man or woman depends, or should 
depend, not on their office, or accidental cir- 
cumstances, but on their own intrinsic merits 
and good qualities, and, above all, on their 
usefulness. Was Hannah More less respected 
or beloved for teaching hundreds of poor 
children in the country ? Would a vain, self- 
conceited, shallow-brained woman, be any 
more respected, though she were wife of the 
President ? And yet I know there are would- 
be aristocrats in the world, who turn up their 
noses and scoff at teachers as a degraded class 
of society.. 

I trust that such feelings will never find a 
place in the breasts of any young ladies edu- 
cated in this free country, and that you will 
not be deterred from endeavoring to be use- 
ful, by the pitiful sneers of any such pitiful 
persons. 

I think it would be a great advantage to 
every young lady to teach a year or two after 



236 LETTERS TO SCHOOL GIRLS. 

leaving school, if it were only to review her 
studies, and become more thoroughly ac- 
quainted with them. 

And if Providence should ever open your 
way to go into heathen lands, and teach idol- 
aters to worship the living God, I trust you 
would not shrink from the path of duty, how- 
ever difficult or dangerous. But remember 
you may be useful at home — useful in the 
country — useful in a very humble, private 
sphere. 

You need not, therefore, sigh for distant 
and difficult fields, but thrust in your sickle 
and reap the harvest that is at your door. 
The reapers who are actuated by the love of 
God, and a desire to promote his glory, shall 
all meet at last, bringing their sheaves with 
them, and shout the harvest home. 

Finally, young ladies, if, after we now sep- 
arate, we should never meet again in this 
world, let us endeavor to be ready to meet in 
heaven. Let us not devote our lives to sin 
and sinful pleasures, but let us trust in and 
serve that Redeemer who died for sinners, and 
who is willing to save every sinner that trust- 
eth in him. Self must be denied, and sin re- 
sisted; crosses must be borne, and troubles 



VALEDICTORY. 237 

and sorrows experienced; but he will at last 
wipe away all tears, and bestow a crown of 
life that fadeth not away. 



APPENDIX, 



FEMALE EDUCATION. 

The Ibllowing address was read before the Convention of Fe- 
male Teachers, assembled in Columbus, O., Dec. 28, 1852. 

That the course of studies for boys and girls 
should be substantially the same, is a proposition 
which is gaining ground in public estimation every 
year. Take up the catalogue of any female semi- 
nary, and you will find a much more extensive list 
of studies than was pursued a few years ago, in the 
best institutions of this kind. N"ot only is the num- 
ber of studies increased, but the text-books are of a 
more scientific character than those formerly used. 
Female intellect is more and more appreciated, as 
female education is more generally diffused. Sev- 
eral seminaries have assumed the name of "Female 
College," and diplomas are generally given, after a 
prescribed course of study has been pursued. Still 
it is not generally agreed what shall be the extent of 
the course, or what shall be the titles conferred with 
the diplomas. To procure some uniformity in these 
respects, is the chief object of this convention. 

There is much greater uniformity in the college 
course for boys, than for girls, thougli even there we 
find some diversity. The propriety of an extensive 
course of Latin and Greek, and the higher mathe- 
matics, has long been a subject of discussion. 

239 



240 APPENDIX. 

Thomas S. Grimke, in his addresses, some years 
ago, at Oxford and Cincinnati, contended that the 
dead languages should be blotted out of a college 
course. Dr. Beecher, and others, vindicated the 
languages; but to tliis day the public mind is divided 
on the subject. Most of the colleges require an ex- 
tensive course of languages, but a few leave it op- 
tional with the student whether to study them or 
not. Perhaps a middle course would be better than 
either extreme. Some knowledge of these languages 
is certainly desirable; but too much time is usually 
devoted to them, and the whole college course con- 
sumes too great a proportion of a man's life. 

We are so much the creatures of habit, that when 
a student lias been cloistered seven or eight years, 
the habits necessary for success in active life, will be 
acquired with difnculty. The course should be suf- 
ficiently extensive to train and invigorate the mind, 
but not so long as to shackle the student with habits 
which must always impede his progress. The free- 
dom and vigor with which self-made men move and 
act, have led some persons to doubt whether a col- 
lege course be not a real disadvantage to a young 
man. Several of the Latin and Greek books, and 
perhaps some parts of the higher mathematics, might 
be spared with advantage. A young man will de- 
vote five or six years to Latin and Greek, and go 
home ignorant of physiology, botany, and natural 
history, which should certainly be taught to every 
young person. 

To read Ca3sar, Virgil, Sallust, Cicero's Orations, 
the Greek Testament, and one or two Greek authors, 



FEMALE EDUCATION. 241 

would give a sufficient knowledge of these lan- 
guages. They could then devote more time to the 
natural sciences with manifest advantage. The 
knowledge of languages here indicated, or most of 
it, might be acquired in that period of life which is 
now wasted, and sometimes worse than wasted. 
Children are often required to study difficult sub- 
jects before their minds are sufficiently developed 
to understand them. Miss Mary Lyon, in her cele- 
brated school at Mt. Holyoke, Mass., required the 
pupils to be sixteen years old when they entered. 
Perhaps fourteen or fifteen would be early enough to 
commence difficult studies. Children might learn 
to read, spell, and write, and study some geography, 
and easy history, till they were ten years old. From 
ten to fourteen they might study Latin and Greek, 
and read most of the books we have named. At 
fourteen they might commence the scientific course, 
which would be rendered much easier by the previ- 
ous study of languages. The technical terms in 
physiology, natural history, botany, etc., would be 
much more easily understood, and the whole course 
of education rendered more interesting and agree- 
able. 

I shall not attempt to go into the details of what 
may be considered a proper course of studies for 
girls. If the college course for boys were more con- 
formable to common sense and practical utility, I 
would contend that girls should take the same course 
as boys. If education strengthens the intellect, 
woman needs it as much as man. If it is a source 
of pleasure, why should she be denied such a grati- 

16 



242 APPENDIX. 

fication ? There is nothing better calculated to de- 
velop and train the mental faculties, than the study 
of the Latin language. In English, the student may 
acquire some superficial knowledge without very 
close attention; but in Latin, every word must be 
examined, not only for its meaning, but for its agree- 
ment and government, that the whole may fit prop- 
erly together, and make good sense. This will re- 
quire the closest attention. And yet it is not so 
difficult as the sciences, but may be acquired at an 
early age. 

Languages cultivate attention, nice discrimination 
of shades of meaning, and taste. Mathematics re- 
quire close attention, too, but cultivate chiefly the 
reasoning faculties. Algebra and geometry are 
chiefly valuable because they are the keys which 
unlock to the student the sublime science of astron- 
omy, and other exact sciences. Latin and Greek are 
valuable for the knowledge they give of our own 
language, and for the knowledge of technical terms 
used in all sciences. 

Why may not our daughters unlock the treasures 
of science as well as our sons ? Why not give them 
an education which will enable them to do so in the 
same thorough and satisfactory manjier ? Girls usu- 
ally acquire languages with greater ease than boys 
acquire them. I insist, therefore, that a moderate 
amount of Latin and Greek should be required in 
all female seminaries. 

The course of mathematics should be sufficiently 
extensive to enable the pupils to understand the 
principles of natural philosophy and astronomy. 



FEMALE EDUCATION. 243 

The books usually put into their hands, are mere 
popular outlines of these subjects, containing' none 
of the reasonings on which the conclusions are 
founded. Sach a course does injustice to the female 
intellect. Girls can calculate the distances and 
magnitudes of the heavenly bodies, as well as boys. 
Whoever has taken a class of girls through such a 
work as Robinson's Astronomy, must have been 
delighted with the glow of happiness which has 
beamed from their countenances when they have 
been able to comprehend the principles. 

I am only mentioning parts of the course about 
which there may be some diversity of opinion. I 
suppose all are agreed that girls, as well as boys, 
should study mental and moral science, logic, 
rhetoric, geology, evidences of Christianity, his- 
tory, etc. 

If girls pursue a college course of studies, why 
may we not confer, with their diploma, a title simi- 
lar to that given at college ? Two degrees are con- 
ferred at college, " Bachelor of Arts," and "Master 
of Arts;" but the latter follows so much as a matter 
of course, that it might as well be given at first. I 
believe that Mistress of Arts is not too ostentatious, 
and is quite as well deserved by young ladies who 
go through a regular course of instruction, as by the 
majority of boys wlio graduate at college. There 
will, of course, be different grades of scholarship, 
because talent and industry will be different; but, 
taking the average, the girls would lose nothing by 
comparison with young men. 

Such a course of studies as we have recommended 



244 APPENDIX. 

may, by some persons, be considered too masculine 
for girls. They fear that such an education would 
destroy those characteristics which are the charms 
of the sex, and send woman out of the orbit of do- 
mestic duties into the rude strifes of men. "We be- 
lieve such fears to be unfounded. Those females 
"who deliver public harangues, and desire to be 
heard in legislative halls and political contests, are 
like the meteors that blaze across the sky, and dis- 
appear; they are unsubstantial vapor, which can 
make no impression on the beauty and harmony of 
the system. 

God made woman for domestic duties, and her 
nature must be very much perverted before she can 
cease to love such duties. Modesty and kindness are 
a part of her being, and it is hard to obliterate them. 
They may, indeed, be perverted, and then woman 
becomes a monster; but she is oftener true to the in- 
stincts of nature and the dictates of humanity, than 
man. Look at France, when the tide of infidelity 
swept over it in the first revolution ! What fiends 
did men become ! Some women, too, were degraded 
into monsters of cruelty; but there were noble in- 
stances of mothers, wives, and daughters, rising 
above the degradation of the times, and displaying 
beautifully and gloriously the peculiar virtues of 
these relations. As an instance, the wife of Marat, 
who was only less cruel than Robespierre, often, by 
her intercessions, saved his victims from destruction. 
And if the floods of infidelity could not obliterate 
those feminine graces which are the peculiar charm 
of the sex, is there any danger that education will 



FEMALE EDUCATION. 245 

destroy them ? Education destroy modesty, and dif- 
fidence, and love of home, and make woman bold 
and masculine ? Was any thing so preposterous ever 
conceived ! I thought that true and thorough schol- 
arship made man or woman more modest and diffi- 
dent, because it gave a better view of the vastness 
of the fields of knowledge. Addison was a fine 
scholar, and one of the most beautiful writers of his 
age, and yet he was so modest — so bashful, if you 
please — that he could not converse in the presence 
of strangers. The diffidence was natural. Educa- 
tion, instead of destroying, perhaps increased it. 
Dr. Johnson, too, was a scholar, but was rude and 
overbearing in conversation; but had he been desti- 
tute of education, he would have been a bully among 
a different class of persons. The eifect of all kinds 
of knowledge is to humanize and polish — not to de- 
grade and brutalize. Addison's beautiful illustra- 
tion drawn from a rough block of marble, polished 
by the statuary, aptly exhibits the influence of edu- 
cation on man or woman. If you occasionally meet 
with educated women who are bold and masculine, 
these defects must not be attributed to their educa- 
tion. They have them in spite of it. How can ed- 
ucation destroy the domestic virtues and afiections ? 
Vice may, indeed, destroy them. The mother that is 
fond of balls and theaters, will neglect her children, 
and lose natural affection for them. But an intelli- 
gent, virtuous mother, will love her child more than 
an ignorant one. If this be not so, then let mothers 
be kept in total ignorance, as among tlie Mohamme- 
dans. Educate all the mothers, and you improve the 



246 APPENDIX. 

condition of the wliole community. They would be 
equally true and kind in all the domestic relations. 
Household duties would not be neglected, nor the 
poor deserted. The afflicted and distressed would 
still find woman a ministering angel, in the daj' of 
adversity. The kind sympathies of her nature were 
bestowed by her Maker, who gave her both intellect 
and affections. There is no danger that cultivating 
one will destroy the other. 

Others think that a college education is useless to 
girls, as the duties which are to devolve on them do 
not require it. Why, then, we would ask, has God 
given them intellectual capacity? Does he bestow 
two talents, when he intends that only one shall 
be improved ? But what duties are more important 
than those of a mother ? She watches the first open- 
ings of intellect, and impresses her own image on the 
infant mind. Was there ever an eminent man whose 
mother was not remarkable ? An educated mother 
may assist and encourage her children through the 
whole course of their education. Children who re- 
ceive sympathy and assistance at home, make much 
better progress at school than those who receive no 
such aid. They live in an intellectual atmosphere, 
and imbibe knowledge in a thousand ways in the 
every-day conversation of the family. The intelli- 
gence of the mother will strengthen her influence 
over her son. Boys are too apt to break away from 
the authority of a mother. Superior intelligence 
would enable her to retain her influence through 
life. No ostentatious display of learning will be 
necessary. The shallow and weak-minded are ped- 



FEMALE EDUCATION. 247 

ants. Good sense and solid learning are always 
modest and retiring. He who has an intelligent 
mother, will forever have cause of gratitude to God 
for her influence. 

I do not mean, however, that learning alone will 
give woman all that influence which she ought to 
exert. Her heart should be imbued with the pure 
and heavenly principles of the religion of Christ; 
and she should consecrate to God all her talents and 
acquirements. Then she may exert a blessed influ- 
ence for time and eternity. 

Teaching is an avocation to which many ladies are 
very appropriately devoting themselves; and for this 
calling they may need special preparation. There 
may be other pursuits more or less appropriate for 
ladies, which may also require special training; but 
the great business — the high profession and calling 
of woman, is to be a wife and mothei' — to preside in 
the domestic circle, and shed her benign influence 
on home. Here she can enjoy the greatest happiness, 
and do the most good. Ko lawyer or statesman 
ever had more responsible or important duties to 
perform than those which devolve on her in her 
home, however humble, Ko amount of education 
which can be acquired during the ordinary period 
of youth, will be too much to qualify her for her 
post. May Heaven prosper the cause of female edu- 
cation ! 




